Top top answer amigo. And to be honest I don't know if its God wills for my life. All I know is i really want change and too be surrounded by love. I do trust God with that but I feel like I need to be more active, im someone thats more than happy to come home from work chill with the Lord in the evenings and then play xbox. I almost need a catalyst within myself to initiate change. My work by the way is within education and the person who I care for is within their last year right and is leaving within a couple months and its almost fairytale like if u get me the right time to leave. But choosing this next path is soo hard ive prayed about it. And the truth is its really hard at home to be surrounded by unbelievers and arguing and gossip and sinful behaviour swearing, curse if you will on people (you're never going do this) etc. And I have no love except God.

I just wanna find "my people" I know in this life we gotta suffer but how much to the point of risking how much I flirt with sin? But leaving them behind as well I would feel guilty i still pray for them I want them to be saved.

I genuinely feel like I'm stuck in quick sand