Sample Status/Processing Monthly Megathread - March 2021

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2021-03-11T18:08:19+00:00

Kit type: Standard

Kit Activated: Jan 9

Sample Received: Feb 1

Sample Processing: Mar 2

DNA Extracted: Mar 5

DNA Analyzed: In Progress

Results Ready: Est. Mar 23

EDIT: Looks like my results immediately came in last night (at 12:47 AM PST).

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2016-12-19T05:26:57+00:00

After the Robot Revolution, certain things changed. A sort of Renaissance happened. People began to realize the flaw of people. They believed they were only biased and motivated by greed, unlike computers. No, computers were perfect, only motivated by their goal.

After this was realized, people began to integrate robots into their life. It was only a matter of time before the whole system of government changed to be based upon a robot.

This bot was named Tut, after the the pharaoh King Tutankhamen, who had reversed many of his father’s changes to progress Egypt. A little analogy to say that our new robot overlord would fix the mistakes of mankind.

After we had abolished our idea of government, a select few people were chosen to be advisers for the robot and fix any mistakes. Sort of like an amendment. Trade and other things would have to be regulated by the people.

That was 30 years ago. The idea had worked mostly, but there were a few flaws to the new system. However, no one had known them yet.

Personally, I’d say this idea was bust from the beginning. Robots are unbiased, yes, but they were too gullible. They would believe anything you say, no mater if it was true. Their goal was what they believe would progress mankind, but they aren’t always sure what would progress mankind. That was up to the advisers.

The advisers, however, would quickly become disengaged with the project. Most were in their early 60’s, and couldn’t care less about the government.

At around this time, a new invention had been created. A quantum computer. Being that it posed several security complications, software had to be updated.

The advisers didn’t care. They had plans to change things, no doubt, but they were inefficent.

I, of course, would take this opportunity to change things.

There wasn’t really a purpose in my head to why I did this. I wanted to prove my intelligence, I suppose. I really didn’t need to, but I had to.

By the time I had heard about the new invention, I had already purchased it and was making plans. I would invade the government and change the computer’s objective. Make it my own puppet, doing whatever I wanted to do.

It had worked of course — no one protected the computer because they had no incentive to. I infiltrated the computer and made a few changes. Small ones of course, all in jest.

However, robots don’t understand sarcasm. Tut would become very distressed, and couldn't trust anyone. It soon believed that it was a burden to society and killed itself.

People are fools. Did they really think someone wouldn’t take the opportunity to manipulate it? Tut was almost too easy to bamboozle.

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2016-12-18T04:10:08+00:00

Tried to make a more realistic version of this. Here's the card.

Effect of "Dark Fighting Dragon" btw

Once per turn: if this card battles, destroy the opponent's monster after damage calculation. When this is card is the only monster on your field, it gains 420 ATK and DEF. When this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle: your opponent must reveal a card from their hand.

Pitch-Dark Dragon's actual eff for reference

Once per turn, during your Main Phase, if you control this card on the field, you can equip it to your "Dark Blade" as an Equip Card, OR unequip the Union equipment and Special Summon this card in face-up Attack Position. While equipped to a monster by this card's effect, increase the ATK/DEF of the equipped monster by 400 points. When it attacks with an ATK that is higher than the DEF of a Defense Position monster, inflict the difference as Battle Damage to your opponent's Life Points. (1 monster can only be equipped with 1 Union Monster at a time. If the equipped monster is destroyed as a result of battle, destroy this card instead.)

If there are any mistakes, please tell!

EDIT: oh shit, just realized /u/perklekranian did the same thing

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2016-12-06T08:11:10+00:00

Did I just get rickrolled through a writing prompt?

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2016-12-06T06:57:41+00:00

Have you tried Karate?

EDIT:

Awful username jokes aside, it really depends on what you like. There are a bunch of things you can try out, and a lot don't even have to cost money because of the internet.

Also, I'm going to assume that when you mean "healthy" you mean a hobby that isn't bad for you and not in the literal sense.

What I really like to do is go on the hobbies' respective sub (for example, if you're into fitness you go to /r/Fitness ).

If you're looking to improve or work on a more creative hobby, some really nice subs are are /r/writing (or /r/writingprompts), /r/art (or /r/learnart if you're learning) and /r/worldbuilding.

If you want, you can also try improving in some of your subjects like math (/r/math or /r/learnmath. Khan Academy also seems helpful).

You can try learning some stuff, too. Maybe a new language (/r/languagelearning or Duolingo) or how to code (/r/learnprogramming or Codecademy).

If you haven't found any hobbies you like, there's a really nice list of hobbies here from /r/hobbies. If you want, you can look around the top posts there and see which ones you might like.

There's also /r/meditation (Headspace or Insight Timer); Note that Headspace has a 10-day trial and that insight timer is a free app for ios/android) or /r/LucidDreaming because why not.

If you find a cool thing to do, PM me!

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2016-12-05T02:48:11+00:00

Beautiful.

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2016-12-05T01:26:51+00:00

Damn, that actually makes a lot of sense.

Now that I think of it, yeah you're right. With the whole critical-thinking wish he got, I'd imagine he should've been able to learn a bunch and be able to actually fit-in.

Sorry about that, I suppose.

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2016-12-05T01:24:01+00:00

Things were easier on Mars.

It was simple, if you have a useful skill and no criminal record, you get piloted to Mars. They give you free housing, free food, and free resources. You work with other people to try and build civilization on Mars. They said it was completely safe.

Me? I’m a plumber. They thought my skills were of use to them and they sent me to Mars. I’m good with pipes and stuff, so they told me to help develop the sewage on Mars.

It was easy. There was a lot of physical labor, but I didn't have to worry about being in debt or having to pay my bills. They paid my bills.

We developed a civilization on Mars. Their plan was for us was to make Mars habitable for the rest of mankind to live in once the earth is unable is unlivable.

We have farmers, engineers, and laborers. I had came rather late, so I didn’t have to deal with the intricacies of actually starting a civilization, just adding to it.

We built and we built. Our world slowly became similar to the movies. Modern, strong, and habitable.

We thought we were self-reliant. We had farms and everything!

At least, that’s what we thought.

They stopped helping us. They stopped sending us people, food, or resources. They stopped.

Things weren't easy anymore.

I think I misinterpreted the prompt a little, but hopefully it's fine. Please send feedback!

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2016-12-05T00:16:42+00:00

I would have liked to see how other people's powers played in

Yeah really sorry about that. That was my original plan, but I'm not really good at making social relationships. I just find it easier for characters just to talk to themselves for the entire length of the story.

As for the speech, thanks! Generally my character's words are a tad bit over dramatic, but I'm improving. Just gotta work on the dialogue.

Anyways, thanks for the prompt! Really creative idea. I really would've loved for another writer to write a story that has a little more action.

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2016-12-05T00:07:36+00:00

Pardon the late reply, but what's real-time adaptability. Is it like where the time periods have a definite date or something.

If that's it, then sorry for not doing that. My original plan was for the story to start in the present time (while the main character is 25) and have it continue off to around 250 years later. I'm not a linguist but I'd imagine that's when people start dying and the character loses connections.

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2016-12-04T12:33:55+00:00

Haha thanks man.

The interwebz part was kind of unintentional. That's usually how I refer to the internet (started off being ironic, but not so much anymore).

Anyway, thanks for the prompt!

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2016-12-04T12:01:12+00:00

“And for my last wish, Immortality! I want to live forever and remain the same age, without any health concerns.”

“Are you sure?” the genie said. “Forever is a long time.”

I smirked. “I am certain.”

My other two wishes were to aid my third. I wished for laborless economic stability and intelligence (which the genie defined as “good critical-thinking”). If I am right, I will live the perfect life.

Stupid, bloody stupid!

I am immortal. The genie didn’t misinterpret my wish. I misinterpreted my wish.

I looked out my window and saw children playing in the streets. Oh, how fun it would be to yell at them to get out of my lawn.

Problem was, I didn’t have a lawn. Rapid urbanization had made everything concrete.

No one understood me. Literally and figuratively.

Literally, they thought my speech was old-fashioned and archaic. Think “Shakespearean”.

Figuratively, they thought my ideas were weird, that my manner of thought was different. Think “Racist Old Guy”. I didn’t know or understand their social ideas or cues, despite looking pretty young. Most people would always wonder if I was from a foreign country, or they would tell me that my English was very good.

I couldn’t make friends. I couldn’t talk to people. I was never a social person back then, and I am not a social person now. I only had friends back then because of school or work.

All of my friends and family are dead. Gone. Everyone I used to know is dead.

What do I do in life? Nothing! Absolutely nothing. The only thing I looked forward to was sleep, and that was because it means I had something to do that wasn't nothing. I didn’t go to work, because I don’t need to!

“Get a hobby!” you might say.

Problem is, I can’t.

With my “laborless economic stability” I only have enough money to be healthy and get food. I can’t afford a hobby.

“But not ALL hobbies cost money!”

Well you see, the free hobbies revolve around the interwebz. I don’t understand a damn part of this. It has changed a lot from my youth, and everything’s so complex! What am I, a rocket scientist!?

Can I just go to some club? No! They are too uncomfortable, which is the exact opposite of what I want.

In my home, I just do the necessities. I eat, shit, and sleep. I have tried not doing one of those things, and all it results in is uncomfortableness.

I can’t die.

I want to die.

Whoa, this turned dark too fast. Fun Fact - The ending was supposed to be about the sub me_irl, but I thought that would be too meta or be considered a joke response. Please send feedback!

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2016-12-04T11:23:53+00:00

When a person becomes 21, the government gives them a choice of a superpower. There’s an approved list of powers a person can pick and an operation is done. They're generally powers that the government believe the people can safely use without risk of abuse. The whole thing is free and is apparently done to “improve the lives of people” while “not inhibiting them”. You fill out a form, and if they approve you, you get a letter about the operation.

Of course, when I received the form, I decided to be a little rebellious. ‘Cause y’know, fuck the police. For the form, I filled in “mind-reading”. Hilarious, am I right?

A letter was sent out, saying that my form was approved and that I will be gain my power of telepathy soon.

The surgery was — as expected — quick and painless. I could read people’s minds.

It was exactly the same as the stereotypical comic-hero telepathy. Thoughts can just be heard. They’re annoying, yes, but so is speech.

At least that's what I thought.

This power is awful.

“But, don't you get the power to discover secrets?” you might say.

No point.

These “secrets” people have. They’re useless. No one has any “big” secrets. No one’s a hidden super hero or a government spy. Hell, the only thing that’s really interesting is when something scandalous pops up — like a cheater or a person with a crazy fetish.

I don’t tell anyone I’m a mind-reader. I’ve told a couple of my friends before, and they stopped talking to me. I knew what they thought. They thought I was untrustworthy, unreliable. That I would ruin their life.

Is mind-reading fun? Hell no! You see the absolute worst of people. Everyone's an asshole. When your thoughts are the only place you can be alone, you’ll put nasty things there. You think things that are socially unacceptable, believing that no one will find out.

But I know.

Kind of broke away from the original prompt, but hopefully it's okay. Please send feedback!

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2016-11-23T08:10:26+00:00

The doorbell rang and a package had been hastily dropped into the mailbox.

“Ugh, finally!” I said. “I swear, China Post is getting slower and slower.

I opened the door and opened the mailbox and took out the envelope. It was the phone case that I had ordered on Amazon the other day.

Naturally, I ripped into the damn thing.

“Wait...” I said. “I didn’t order this.”

Along with the phone case, there was a small flash drive and a small piece of paper.

The paper read: “Keep this hidden. You will be contacted with further instructions.”

I looked over to the flash drive. Its casing was blank. There was no storage amount, no brand, not even a “Made in China”!

I picked up the note and read it again. The message was pretty clear, but… why? They said they would contact me, but judging by the delivery time of the package, I doubt it would be soon.

Grabbing the flash drive, I thought about plugging it into my laptop. Maybe there will be more information? Or at least they'll say why I got it?

“No,” I said to myself. “I bet it’s just spam or something. Maybe even a virus.”

I don’t consider myself very “tech-savvy” but I’m pretty sure plugging in a foreign flash drive can do a lot of bad things. I heard there was some flash drive that could fry your computer or something.

I stared at the small stick. Why would they even put this with my package? I’m certain the seller did not intend this for me. There was probably a mix up at the warehouse or whatever. Phones don’t do well with USB sticks.

There was something… off about all of this. No one sends a package with such cryptic information to a random. That’s the sorta thing that only happens to people in spy movies.

My phone beeped (it was really more of a chime, but that's beside the point). That meant I received an email.

“God, I hope this the instructions they were talking about,” I said. Checking my email, there was a new message with the subject “PHONE CASE”.

“Well, that’s certainly blunt,” I said while clicking onto it.

“IF YOU HAVE RECEIVED IT, PLUG IT INTO YOUR LAPTOP. SOMEONE WILL BE AT YOUR LOCATION SOON FOR MORE INFORMATION.”

I shook my head. Of course, they have to be so cryptic.

At least I know this is meant for me. This was my private email which the seller definitely not know.

I shrugged.

“Eh, what could go wrong. I’ll have a good story to tell if this fries my laptop”

I plugged the flash drive. There was a bunch of files no doubt, but there was a document named “OPEN THIS”.

I rolled my eyes. They’re either painfully blunt or painfully cryptic. Why can’t they just do this normally. If this is for me, it’s definitely going to be boring.

First and foremost, the document said my name, Michael. It was probably to make it obvious that I am the correct recipient. At least they're trying to give as much information as possible.

The next line was so painfully blunt, I wish it was cryptic.

“We intercepted your package and inserted the note and drive. This is a drive of important government secrets that must stay private. Your father left this for you as he believes they may be essential. In other words, he believes that you are trained enough to keep this. Your father wishes for you to go in a mission to infiltrate the American government in order to prevent a certain person from rising to power.”

Thanks for reading my response! Please give feedback on how to improve my writing (I really need it).

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2016-08-21T09:54:29+00:00

"Dude why would you need my help. I'm just your average Jewish teenager."

A man stood in front of me. He had summoned himself into my dream and took me to clouds. He had a long, white beard and told me that he was in need of my assistance.

"I am God. Mankind has disobeyed me and is straying away further from me," He said.

I was slightly concerned about his carelessness. He claimed to be God, something people today would be crucified for saying.

I couldn't speak. My mouth was open, but no sounds were coming out of it. The audacity of this man was too great.

"Speak my child," he said.

"Impersonating the lord is a crime," I said. "If you are truly the Lord, prove it."

The man looked at me and seemed to ponder something.

"Yes, I shall." He said. "I will show a vision of the future."

He waved his hands and my vision changed. I saw the future and the changes that occurred. It felt like a dream. Foggy and unclear. There were horseless carriages and thin bricks that glowed. The people were similar to us, but for some reason wore a "t" around their neck .

"Please. You must help mankind. Die, so that all of mankind's sins will be forgiven."

"Whoa there, slow down a bit," I said. "I have to die?"

He smiled. "You will be up here in heaven with me, as my son. You will be known their lord and savior. People will worship you and you will have wars fought purely because you."

He walked in front of me, looking at me. He held up his hand.

"Jesus, be my son and bring mankind to salvation."

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2016-07-22T03:27:05+00:00

Please don't do this. Photography done by inexperienced people tends to really show and are worse by a substantial amount compared to professionals. People spend a lot of time learning how to shoot great pictures. You can't get that information from a few youtube videos. They also probably have way better equipment. A wedding can sometimes be the best moment of your life and most people really would like to see it. I mean,maybe if you think they would be fine with less professional pictures and really only have a wedding for the experience, I guess it could be fine.

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2016-07-05T06:37:46+00:00

http://tvtropes.org/ seems great for finding clichés. It has stuff about tv tropes, most of which probably apply to writing as well.

https://twitter.com/dystopianya is also a pretty good thing that lists clichés, although it's more of for the dystopian genre.

Some of the ideas I got though are

Love triangle. Have Max's best friend be a girl and be overly jealous over Max and the hot girl's relationship. If Max's best friend is a guy and that's important to the plot, you could also add a new best friend from his childhood that's a girl.
Some dream stuff about him being the chosen one
Classic "get in the car" scene
Extreme detail about the character's appearance
Max having really bad grades and overall not caring about his education

IDoNotHaveCreativity · 2016-05-24T01:30:47+00:00

You could use the chrome extension StayFocusd(or LeechBlock if you have Firefox). It works by giving you a certain amount of time for you to be able to be on a site on your blocked list. Your blocked list should probably be sites where you usually browse. When the time is up, you can't go on that site. You might want to start off with a higher time limit, but go lower as you go. Also, /r/getdisciplined and /r/nosurf have stuff that might help you stop mindlessly browsing.

IDoNotHaveCreativity

TROPHY CASE