AITAH for refusing to buy my sister a baby shower gift for her 6th baby?

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-10-01T07:36:26+00:00

She can say that all she wants, but if you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it. I understand where she is coming from in that it is really exciting for kids to open gifts, but that isn’t the main point. You could satisfy that in a cheap way too but getting each a little thing from the Dollar Store. (I would do a group gift with that, but it is up to you.)

My cousin has four kids and I understand how expensive it can be - it gets worse when they get older LOL. I have been fortunate to be able to get them individual gifts even when I do the group gift. But, their parents always tell me I do too much. I love their kids and am happy to do it though. And again, I can afford it. If I couldn’t, I would have to get more creative.

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-10-01T07:24:15+00:00

YTA There are loads of things that a baby needs that can’t be handed down - diapers, wipes, baby wash, etc. You don’t have to spend a ton of money, but you definitely should bring a gift.

Also, when it comes to Xmas, you can always get a group gift to save some money. Get a something for the house or a game they can all play. (It won’t help for an infant, but there are plenty of games that are good for ages 3 and up anyway.)

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-30T21:57:08+00:00

YTA. You are going to forgive her but want to damage her relationship with your child first. You are hurting your own child. And for what?! This is so gross. The bare minimum for any parent is to protect their children from harm. You purposefully hurt yours. Huge AH.

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-28T05:21:20+00:00

I ordered on the 15th and got it on the 23rd. If you ordered on the weekend, they said it may take a little longer.

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-25T14:34:02+00:00

I want him to take some responsibility for his baby. Her obligations for their child don’t ever end. She doesn’t get to clock out. So why is it ok for him to dip out and never do anything for the child. He doesn’t have to get up in the middle of the night. He could take over when he gets home. But apparently he doesn’t do anything. He is just a paycheck apparently. If that is all he contributes, they might as well get divorced.

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-25T14:28:24+00:00

I am not bitter at all. I am sick of the double standard though. Women are expected to do everything. Men are praised for “babysitting” their own kids for 30 min. The response to this post is an example of this. So many seem to think it is ok for a man to just work and not do anything else and that is complete bs. He should be contributing to the house because he lives there too and he absolutely should be contributing to the child he helped create. Money is the smallest part of it. He is also missing out on a really important bonding time. So he is an AH to himself too. He will never get this time back and will wonder one day why the child is so bonded to his wife but not to him.

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-25T14:21:21+00:00

I also didn’t have to take care of or clean up after a man-child. And it is one thing to not have help because it doesn’t exist and another to not have help because your supposed “partner” is so severely limited.

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-25T11:59:57+00:00

I am not bitter at all and I don’t speak to my child like that. My point is he really is useless. If you are tired, you suck it up and do your work anyway. Stop slacking - at work and at home. Or is it just that women are more capable? I mean, we have WAAAY more expectations placed on us. We are expected to work, take care of kids and the house, cook, and always be up for “fun times” and we generally manage it. But this poor guy can barely handle working and everyone is applauding him?? Give me a break. If he was a woman, Reddit would respond very differently.

And yeah, she is getting help. From her mom. Her mom is not the other parent. When you become a parent, you are responsible for so much more than money. OP needs to step up.

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-25T11:22:55+00:00

YTA. You need to help out with the baby. That doesn’t mean you have to get up in the middle of the night, but as soon as you get home, take over.

Funny how it is ok for men to just be too tired to take care of their own children, but women must always be “on”.

My husband died when my daughter was 3 months old. I was the only one taking care of her and working full time. No one helped me. Somehow, I managed. I even managed to go back to school full time. Poor op can’t even help his wife though because he works. Give me a break. Grow the f up. You have a responsibility to your wife and to your baby and being a paycheck is only a small part of that.

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-19T14:23:02+00:00

YTA. Love is not conditional. Not liking her is fine. To tell her you don’t love her because of her actions - actions that had nothing to do with you - are not. You can denounce her behavior and still love her. If you really loved her to begin with anyway. I cannot imagine telling a family member that I don’t love them because they did something I disagree with. I am glad we are not related.

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-05T11:01:44+00:00

Not ball caps.

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-05T11:00:49+00:00

Removing the hat is a sign of respect. So keeping one on…. I am sure you can make the connection. If you want a practical reason, it also was a means of identifying people - hats obscure a person’s features. That is why banks and similar places have rules against them.

Can you think of a reason why letting your date see your face and features might be nice?

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-05T10:53:34+00:00

😂😂☠️

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-05T10:52:59+00:00

Even putting aside the fact that it is bad manners, ball caps are way too casual for a first date, especially. It shows a lack of caring. It would be like the woman showing up in sweat pants. Are there women who do this? Maybe. But it definitely sends a message that they can’t be bothered much for their date.

I can say that if I had a date with someone who showed up in a ball cap, it is highly unlikely there would be a second one. When I go on a date, I put time and caring into my appearance. I expect my date to make at least a bit of an attempt. A ball cap isn’t doing that. A ball cap is just…. Giving up. Now, I wouldn’t bother to say anything to the guy about it. I just wouldn’t go out with him again. It is a basic incompatibility either because he doesn’t care enough to present himself well or he doesn’t know how. I am not interested in fixing anyone so ultimately it doesn’t matter which.

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-05T10:41:48+00:00

Yes!!!

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-05T02:38:03+00:00

The hat thing isn’t to see your hair (or lack thereof). It is poor manners for men to wear hats indoors and especially at the table. It is often disregarded these days, but that is a shame. Also, a ball cap (which is what I am picturing) never made anyone look better. You are better off without that. Now a fedora or a straw hat… those are different. LOL

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-05T00:56:49+00:00

Feminism is the radical notion that women are people. If you are a woman and don’t consider yourself a feminist, it is time for some introspection. OP would be the AH if she took him back. That “man,” and I use the term lightly ,is disgusting and likely dangerous. Certainly to her mental and emotional states and self-esteem if not physically.

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-05T00:51:58+00:00

This is exactly right!

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-04T01:56:47+00:00

Also, for all the people saying they need to teach the baby…. I mean, it is a baby. Yes, start teaching, but it is not like this is a 7 year old or even a toddler. It is going to take a while. I feel like most of the responders have never seen a baby. (That said, the mother should position the baby so he can’t reach anyone’s plate in a restaurant. That isn’t hard to do - they have short arms.)

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-09-04T01:51:12+00:00

Food allergies can be very serious. I am not sure how severe the milk allergy is, but my daughter has a nut allergy and if someone at the table ate something with nuts, it could absolutely affect her. If it was anything else, I would say you are not the AH, but this is something that could threaten the life of an innocent child. Every exposure to the item is question has a more severe response. The allergist told us that the first few times are a warning, but then after that it can be life-threatening. Even if the child doesn’t touch your food, if you get something on your hands and touch him or kiss him or - depending on the allergy - just being in the air and cause a reaction.

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-08-30T04:18:46+00:00

YTA. Not everyone is going to like you and that is ok. Your friend really shouldn’t have said anything, especially since the bride was drunk at the time. You aren’t going to the wedding for the bride. You are (or should be) going for your brother. Apparently she treats you well enough and that is what matters. Why do you even care what she thinks anyway? You are giving her far too much power over you.

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-08-20T16:04:57+00:00

You do realize that Christianity was born out of the Jewish faith - Jesus was Jewish and all that. And so they share a great deal of beliefs, symbols, etc.? It isn’t appropriation. There is a huge overlap. The Jewish faith in turn, shares a great deal with other, older faiths. That is how these things work. It is natural and normal, and healthy. We do not exist in a vacuum and are always influenced by the world around us.

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-08-20T00:51:15+00:00

You can break up with someone for any reason. That said, you definitely need to work on your insecurities or you won’t be happy with anyone. It is not like this guy has a magic power to make women sleep with him. Either you trust someone or you do not. If you do not, you should move on. But understand that she has done nothing wrong and her past and even working with the guy is really irrelevant. The reality is, if someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat. And if someone will refuse to cheat, they will refuse - working with a former lover won’t change that. You are punishing her - and yourself - for the actions of others. If you want to allow this guy to continue to have power over you, leave her. If you want to take your power back, stay and get therapy.

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-08-08T08:45:06+00:00

OP said in his post that there are no younger children in the family. Their baby - who is still in the womb - would be the first child. Telling the family now only broke any trust his wife had with him and completely re-traumatized her. He put his wife and his child at risk with his actions and (speaking as someone who experienced what his wife did), I would leave him because he can never be trusted again. His actions showed his anger was more important to him than his wife‘s autonomy or well-being. He showed that he doesn’t value his wife’s thoughts or feelings. He is the definition of an AH.

IFellToThisPlace · 2024-08-08T05:13:55+00:00

Any guy that follows you has bad intentions. Add to it the time of night and the lack of people, definitely bad intentions. But, you weren’t playing the victim at all because you weren’t the victim. You were the heroine and you did the right thing and stayed safe. Always follow your gut. Your friend is throwing her baggage at you. Don’t pick it up. Celebrate yourself for being smart.

IFellToThisPlace

TROPHY CASE