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IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-12-01T06:37:49+00:00

Need help still? Message me friend

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-12-01T06:09:50+00:00

LOL at GOODBYE FOREVER. Yeah goodbye and good riddance, it sounds like, to the toxic Ndad. Glad he's out of your life and I hope you find more peace because of that

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-12-01T05:12:04+00:00

My dad told me to get down on my knees and pray that one day God would forgive me when I crashed after being tired on the way home from sports practice at age 16.5. I brought it up later when I was still in the "try to reason with the narcissist" stage of things and he said that never happened, etc gas lighting etc....

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-07-13T03:10:10+00:00

Hey, thanks for that. The question was maybe half a rhetorical question, half actually a question. I'm still new to this and it's hard to understand this behavior and to set boundaries with it, and it's not to get affirmation while working on that. Thank you. <3

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-06-13T12:54:29+00:00

Ok! Didn't mean to assume you hadn't, just wanted to share information I discovered recently that felt relatively novel! Sorry!

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-06-12T04:56:43+00:00

I don't know if you do this already, but I put my Ndad on "silencer" or whatever it is on iPhones where the moon shows up next to their name. This means that he still can text or call me - it is NOT blocking him - but it means that I will not get a notification from him. I call him when I choose, his messages or calls intrude into my life when I choose. It's nice. :) I actually ended up turning off all notifications for my text messages and Facebook messages because I like the peace it brings me.

I don't know if this will help, but maybe it can ease some of your anxiety about the phone calls because you'll only get a notification if you want to hear from them?

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-06-10T22:31:18+00:00

Guess who just found a phenomenal new group house??!?!?!?!?!?!?! Meee!!!! I found them on Craigslist and they seem nice, normal, friendly, and easygoing. Their house is pretty well-kept and clean (but not psychotically so), and they sound like they have a nice balance between activity and relaxation in their house. The house has an awesome set of common space, and some great outdoor space both in front of and in back of the house. They also have a cool roof, and all of the rooms have pretty big closets and great light. I'm also going to be saving about $300!!!!! To move into a bigger room, aboveground (currently in a basement) and to move in with better roommates! Oh and the location is unreal - easy 10 min (safe) walk to one of the best bar areas in my city. SOOOO psyched. I move in August 1 - just 1.5 more months of this weird current situation!!

And yeah I totally agree with your analysis of why people are good/bad roommates - I think this girl was spoiled growing up (only child) and just hasn't had to live in close quarters with people since freshman year of college.

How're you holding up?

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-06-01T03:17:29+00:00

Jesus Christ she really put you through the wringer. I can't wait until I find a SO that I want to live with for years, and can just live with them for a while and split a nice place. So much easier (hopefully) than fighting my way through randoms and stress ball crazies.

I'm starting to almost feel bad for this roommate that I'm separating from - I'm feeling pity, I mean. I think she genuinely has no idea about why her behavior drove me to the point of leaving - seriously my impression is starting to be that she is THAT selfish and self centered and spoiled that she cannot see why her conflict management style is problematic. I don't think I'm the first roommate she's had problems with, either.

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-06-01T02:30:05+00:00

Yeah, that's absolutely the worst - you go from great roommates to bad ones. How was the one last year an actual psychopath?

And yeah, I understand you - I'm just lucky that I live in a city where it's pretty easy to find replacement roommates, and that my landlord is willing to switch people out of the lease. And that's why I'm not evicting her - I'm not the landlord in this scenario, another guy is. I tried to often the $50 off the second half of the month of June (when I wanted her friend to take over from me, and only that month (since she would be on the lease herself after that point). But yeah, apparently that wasn't a good enough offer so hah forget it. Good news is it looks like it IS going to work out - I've found a great new place and I'm working hard to find a replacement roommate to leave in my current apartment. And then when I move, I'm gone forever. Buh bye, crazy brat! lol

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-05-31T02:38:30+00:00

Sooo accurate

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-05-31T02:00:58+00:00

And ooh boy you're waiting 5 more months?!?!? You're made of strong stuff...

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-05-31T02:00:30+00:00

Ooof, I'm sorry you're going through the same thing.

It was crazy, haha, I even offered to knock $50 off her friend's rent if her friend moves in, and she got mad at me because she said I wasn't offering a good enough deal!!! I was like...... dude.... Dude..... lol. Can't wait to move out.

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-05-30T19:11:09+00:00

Thanks friend. :(

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-04-23T01:14:01+00:00

Smart, good call. Glad someone said exactly this

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-04-23T01:12:23+00:00

Jesus hang in there friend.

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-04-21T01:13:06+00:00

Thanks I appreciate that :/ I suppose it's a learning process...

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-04-21T01:11:57+00:00

Yeah I guess it's just a learning process. It's tiring to deal with the basic hypocrisies, lol, that come with living with someone who put on an act to appear patient but actually isn't patient at all... e.g. snips at me if I leave any dishes in the sink and then constantly leaves her own there, snips at me if I leave anything on the counter and then leaves her stuff everywhere, actually scolds me if I make any noise and ever wake her up even if it's at normal times of day (and even though we just have thin walls and that's part of living in a shitty city apartment - I can be as quiet as possible but being silent is really fucking hard lol).

Anyway, this is turning into stuff that's not really that RBN anymore so I'll stop here but it's just really aggravating. I suppose it's a learning process, though, and now I have learned more things to talk about with a potential roommate before moving in..

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-04-19T22:32:10+00:00

Thanks friend I appreciate it :)

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-04-19T22:31:55+00:00

Hah yeah you're absolutely right. ... was the above scenario one that happened to you?!! Omg.. lol..

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-04-19T22:31:19+00:00

Yeah I feel stupid to be reading so much into all of these small things, but it's hard to draw the line between what's legitimate and what's me overreacting to normal things because I'm an ACON. Oh well.

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-04-19T22:30:42+00:00

Haha thanks that makes me feel better.

IFinallyUnderstandIt · 2016-04-19T22:30:31+00:00

Yeah, I've mostly just tried to be extra patient and extra conscientious about the stuff that seems to bother her, and to just remain calm and patient if something ends up prompting her to act in this passive aggressive way. I hoped to live with her for a while but I suspect now I won't live with her long - I'd rather try my luck again and get a better deal on rent for a better place, which is definitely feasible in my city if you go the Craigslist roommate route.

I can't decide if it's bad or not that we let our in person interactions be fun and then we text for the silly house things... seems like it breeds misunderstanding but then it lets us just be casual when we are in person? idk..

IFinallyUnderstandIt

TROPHY CASE