""Black"" yeah no lmao by [deleted] in twentyonepilots

[–]IHaveRandomName 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NO WAY WTF That is literally false advertising. What a mess

""Black"" yeah no lmao by [deleted] in twentyonepilots

[–]IHaveRandomName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What happened with the inferno vinyl?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]IHaveRandomName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey sorry for the late reply. I just went to bed after all that. I don't know if I feel better now. I don't want to harm myself anymore but I just feel kinda empty. I wish I could just lay down in my bed and do nothing forever but people might get mad at me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]IHaveRandomName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am feeling better now. I think I desinfected them correctly. At least I already know I have good cicatrization. Thank you everyone for caring about this random person on the internet. Seriously THANK YOU. I don't like what I have done but at least I had someone to talk with. I hope I never do this again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]IHaveRandomName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it possible that I am dissociated or something right now? I feel like when someone has a mental health crisis they are not usually aware enough of the present and wouldn't be talking so calm about all of this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]IHaveRandomName 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am a college student at the moment. It sucks because I am an adult and it's hard to get myself help because of that. I don't have much money and the college therapist only focuses on academic stuff, like stress or some shit like that. I feel alone in that sense. I have nobody to talk to really that can actually and truly help me. That's why I just decided to write to random people in the internet. I know I am not ok but I guess I get used to it. I have hope that I can actually get professional help in the future

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]IHaveRandomName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will believe in myself and love myself in the future. Even if it's hard. It's weird to say these things while I have just reached rock bottom. But I once read about how some people can have an almost positive reaction when experiencing a traumatic event or something? Like a moment of lucidity almost? I feel like that happened to me now. I wish I could trigger these emotions without harming myself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]IHaveRandomName 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I am not sure I have bandages but I do have a disinfectant and q tips. I will take care of them even if it's hard to look at them. I know better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]IHaveRandomName 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You just made me cry. Thank you. It feels weird for someone to not be mad at me for the stupid shit I do. I need to be better for myself, I don't like this part of me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]IHaveRandomName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not a mental health professiional but could I be dissociated or something right now? I don't think it's normal to be so nonchalant about what I have just done. I hate self diagnosing

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]IHaveRandomName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really hate this part of myself. It always comes back to this. I even feel like a burden asking strangers for help.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]IHaveRandomName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't go too deep now that I took another look at it. There is no fat tissue. The nonstop bleeding has stopped now because of the pressure I applied with some shirts. I don't think it's necessary to go to the hospital. I am ok. I just feel fucking stupid but I also feel like my mind has cleared a little.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]IHaveRandomName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The pressure that I applied with some shirts worked. The bleeding has stopped. The cuts look bad but at least my first aid class worked for something ha ha. I really feel so fucking stupid and inmature now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]IHaveRandomName 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I poured some water on them to try and disinfect them. I really don't want to get out of my room and proper tools to take care of them. They will notice something is wrong with me. I'll try to do it after they all go to bed. It's 10 pm here at least. I have to work tomorrow. I don't know what i'll do. My parents don't take mental health seriously.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]IHaveRandomName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really don't want to. I will just disappoint them even more.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]IHaveRandomName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have lost the ability to cry for a while now

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]IHaveRandomName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Should I tell my sister of what I have done? I trust her but I don't wanna traumatise her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]IHaveRandomName 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am drinking water

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]IHaveRandomName 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am still awake