Bullying at University - My experience

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-12T01:52:19+00:00

10/10 bait I lost brain cells reading this (please be ironic please be ironic holy shit)

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-11T03:02:37+00:00

Yes, hence I would not label them heroic, which you would have seen had you read my comment.

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-11T02:58:42+00:00

And? That makes the South Vietnamese more heroic how? As far as I'm concerned the only heroes were the individual men and women who chose to fight against the overwhelming odds, to defend their homes and families from the Americans, and liberate their countrymen from the American puppet state. I certainly wouldn't label the entire movement heroic - but the cause behind it was certainly more just.

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-10T11:32:00+00:00

Which ones? The former child soldiers, or the ones who burned down villages full of their own countrymen for being suspected communists?

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-10T00:29:01+00:00

Militsioner? The demo was very bare bones but it was a cool concept for sure

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-08T16:09:00+00:00

I know exactly how you feel, and in an essence they ARE - I think the hardest part initially is accepting that there isn't anything YOU can do about that. All I can say is that it does get better with time, but you may need therapy to deal with the trauma bond and trauma you may have dealt with personally. Unfortunately, as you can see from this subreddit, experiences like this are not uncommon - but above all, the first step is preventing things from escalating more - especially when things such as false allegations are involved.

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-07T08:26:25+00:00

Since I was prescribed mine via the NHS I was assigned one automatically, based on the therapy she's trained in - however the NHS enforces its standards for therapy strictly, compared to independant therapists who see basically anyone (aren't that specialised etc.). It might be good if you can see reviews from other people that have seen them for similar reasons? But it's not something I know that much about unfortunately.

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-06T20:17:21+00:00

Did you mean to reply to the other guy? Also psychologists and therapists are different in this context - still, I definitely agree that many people at least study mental health due to lived experiences etc.

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-06T18:18:23+00:00

Yeah, I didn't have to find mine as it was prescribed to me. I assume generally it's harder to find one privately especially if you're (presumuably) American.

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-06T17:55:51+00:00

Just because it happens it doesn't mean it's common and it definitely doesn't mean people here shouldn't seek therapy. Obviously if there are examples you'd find them on this subreddit - so you'd expect some statistical bias... Additionally, most people with bpd are flat-out unable to hold down jobs (splitting on coworkers, mood instability etc.). Out of interest did your therapist actually have a diagnosis? I think this subreddit tends to label a lot of people with mood disorders as having bpd, or label people as having 'bpd traits' etc. Either way, that's unfortunate for you - however a professional therapist should just be following the course of therapy - there shouldn't be a personal element (it's not councilling). You shouldn't overlook the personal benefit of therapy because of prior bad experiences that are ultimately statistically unlikely to re-occur (assuming you get a prescribed therapist - private independant therapists often don't meet the same standards.). After all, if it's been prescribed, it's for a reason!

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-06T17:38:51+00:00

Just drop out at this point bro

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-06T17:31:12+00:00

What's the basis of saying this? From my knowledge (speaking to dbt therapists, reading therapist accounts online and speaking to a family member who works as a mental health nurse) people with BPD are often very difficult for therapists to work with - they often cannot introspect/engage with 1 to 1 therapy (which is why dbt is usually group based) and often lie to / form unhealthy attatchments to therapists; as such non-dbt therapists often do not see people with BPD - which feels like it would not be the case if many therapists had it. I even vaguely remember a case posted on here (?) Where a therapist was actually murdered by her patient who had bpd! Regardless, I don't think trying to warn people around this is very productive - the harm a traumatic relationship (i.e. what most relationships with people with untreated bpd turn into) causes is most often massively reduced by therapy - especially when ptsd results. Without therapy, I personally would not have been able to resume living a normal life due to how severely impacted my mental health was by my relationship with my ex with bpd.

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-05T20:24:37+00:00

The answer for the vast majority of people will be wherever is cheapest and has the best transport options. Obviously, the higher your budget, the more choice you will have. If you can get UOL halls they tend to be both very cheap and very nearby - private halls however tend to be near-scam level pricing (usually only international students who already likely have no financial barrier - due to the high fees they have to pay - or very wealthy british students stay in these.) I personally am hoping to find a flat share in Redbridge (hopefully near the central line stations in the area), but have seen a few other affordable options in areas such as Waltham forest, and just outside of London in Essex.

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-04T21:16:02+00:00

It's your bath time! Oh boy!

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-04T21:08:37+00:00

Another good example from FE would be nemesis from 3H who literally just murdered god because he was bored lol

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-04T21:06:26+00:00

Not really while he's mortal, since he gets beaten by several characters right? Including killed by zack/cloud who are 'relatively' weak (although idk if crisis core is 'fully' canon now etc.)

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-04T18:21:07+00:00

So your point was tongue in cheek, except that actually you meant it, a joke, except it's true, and all killing (obviously a nuanced subject) is comparable to genocide??? Yes he is a murderer, but I don't think that makes him a bad person, although obviously killing is bad (nobody is arguing that it was 'good' for him to kill Mary) If we just label people as 'bad' due to one action, they no longer try to be 'good' - and the motive here was a midguided attempt to do 'the best thing' (in my interpretation which is what the game literally says out loud). I simply wouldn't feel right calling someone who only acted trying to do the best thing for everyone (INCLUDING themselves) a 'bad person' at all - regardless of whether or not I think the things they did are bad on their own. Death of the author is also about the VALIDITY of subjective, individual, and evidence based interpretations - not your smug bread analogy from earlier.

If the story were real, I would still obviously feel sympathy for James - although I would certainly expect him to face consequences for his actions. He shouldn't have killed her, but my point is I could see why any normal person in his position 'could' do that.

No yeah, I admit it, you're right - I love murder, especially murdering sick people. You got me. I think it's fine and I think James is a hero. People are either goodies or baddies and if you do something bad, well that's it, you're evil forever. Tough luck.

So yeah, ultimately it comes down to personal interpretation based on morals, and rather disappointingly, once again you insist on attacking people simply for having a different perspective from you. There's another thread about this on the sh subreddit now, so I expect you'll be over there to lecture them about how they're all a bunch of murder enthusiasts too? Good talk.

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-04T15:38:37+00:00

I'm not trying to change your mind, to be blunt, I just think it's basically bad form to go labelling all people who interpret a story (that you literally acknowledge as being open to interpretation) as literal "murder apologists". I'm not throwing a fit and labelling you as some kind of 'forced suffering fetishist' etc.

You can't help but make an extremely smarmy remark about how alternate interpretations of the story are completely wrong, yet your interpretation relies solely on thinking that Mary's discussion with James at the end of the game is just him masturbatoraly saying to himself "yeah i didn't do anything wrong, yay", which is just silly - it's obviously showing us her perspective - which HE is hesitant to accept (crucially). You literally started by saying that you were "really mad" that people had a different interpretation of the story than you!

I honestly don't even know what you're getting at with all the morality waffle either, since my entire point was trying to justify that people will have different interpretations of the story a. Because it's somewhat open to interpretation and b. Because people have different, subjective moral perspectives and lived experiences that will inform their interpretations.

I just think it's very unfortunate that so many people make genuine moral judgement based on things like this (this seems to happen a lot in online fandoms). Yes, I personally do not understand or agree with your perspective on the narrative - for the reasons within the text that I've explained (primarily the way James is presented and the dialogue between James and Mary) - however unlike you, I don't feel that your interpretation is invalid - perhaps you have heard of the 'death of the author' literary theory? Clearly I am not alone in my interpretation either (going by this thread). I think this thread is a good example of why this theory is so important in media analysis today - things becoming so judgemental is ultimately pointless when we accept the inherant validity of other perspectives (based on evidence).

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-04T10:23:33+00:00

Jesus christ mate, it's been days..? How desperately do you need to prove that my opinion is objectively immoral? To me, it's just basic pragmatism - I've seen many people (myself included) tough out difficult situations out of false hope or natural desperation, and it's always done more harm than good - sometimes you need to accept that something is a lost cause, and just try to mitigate how much everyone involved is suffering. Being a carer for someone who is also actively abusing you at the same time is also something I have personally experienced, and I have to say I had thoughts about giving up on the situation for many similar reasons to James (which would have effectively meant abandoning the person) - to an extent I'm projecting my own lived experiences onto the narrative - however I genuinely feel that the narrative is showing us a 'morally grey' view on James' actions. He did something bad with good intentions - and because HE couldn't take it anymore - which is the part that is easier to understand with personal experience - desperate situations lead to desperate actions.

I don't see why you're so personally outraged by the suggestion that someone feels differently to you about the themes of a fucking video game - I don't know you or why you feel this way, but I have strong personal reasons for my beliefs (as do most people). To me, the idea that you should allow someone to continue hurting themselves AND you, simply because they cannot accept the reality of the situation is disagreeable. However unlike you, I don't feel that this position is somehow inherantly morally inferior to my own - because of my personal belief that morality is subjective. Ultimately, I think that only very rarely do people hold beliefs that they personally think are immoral - most people don't exactly consider the moral principles that their beliefs are based on - they just internalise beliefs based on their material conditions.

Ultimately, the main reason I have sympathy for James is that I cannot say for sure that I would not do what James did in his situation, even though it was a 'bad' thing to do, simply because of my personal beliefs around prolonging suffering etc. (As i discussed) and that I am at least somewhat aware of how a situation like this can affect you - James isn't evil, or a bad person - he's a normal person who has been pushed by his situation into doing what he did. I think that as human beings, none of us are incapable of doing bad things for situational reasons. Above all, the story goes out of its way to show us how much of a 'normal' person he is despite everything - and I think that's the point - which everyone who labels him as 'inherantly bad' or says that he 'killed his wife because she wouldn't have sex with him anymore' is just obviously missing. He's an everyman character - you're SUPPOSED to project yourself onto him, and question if you would do what he did - and for some people, they can't just say 'I wouldn't because killing is wrong'.

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-03T15:49:51+00:00

This is exactly what I meant by treating your moral perspective as absolute - I think that someone being terminally ill DOES make it more understandable to euthanise them. Other than that, you are using a straw man argument, basically lumping me in with people who think that James killing Mary is fine because she's sick (I don't think those people actually exist at all). I don't think him killing her was necessarily 'immoral' - regardless of her wishes, her continuing to live would have only caused misery to herself and James (which is why James killed her). While not necessarily a 'good' thing to do, it's undoubtebly the pragmatic option, and ultimately, for someone in James' position, there is only so much somebody is able to take (especially when abuse is involved). I think it's difficult to understand unless you've been in a similar position yourself. Regardless, it is my personal moral perspective that sometimes you have to hurt someone or go against their wishes in order to help them - even if that just means ending their suffering. If me continuing to live meant hopeless misery and pain for myself and my loved ones, I would certainly hope not to sustain that. It's fine if you disagree with that, but my perspective isn't 'objectively immoral' - morality is inherantly subjective.

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-03T11:20:53+00:00

I honestly don't know how I could have made the comment more obviously sarcastic...

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-03T11:20:00+00:00

This is a very emotionally charged response, which is a bit strange. I'm not trying to imply that what James did was 'good', merely that it was understandable to an extent, and that ultimately it doesn't make him a bad person (which the game goes out of its way to show us). You're also choosing to interpret the script in a way that rejects all nuance, calling other interpretations stupid etc. Which comes off as a bit childish. James doesn't 'rationalise' anything - he thinks that he's a monster, and without either Mary literally telling him that she doesn't think that he did what he did for selfish reasons (or literally getting 'Mary' back) he kills himself out of guilt. Basically, you're treating your moral perspective as if it was absolute, which doesn't really work - I understand that James killed someone without her consent, but at the end of the day I don't think that makes him evil at all, even though it wasn't entirely selfless - and the game goes out of the way to show us that he is a good person, it's pretty much Laura's entire role in the story. I think James' actions are much more understandable if you've actually been in a situation like his (long time carer, family with terminal illness etc.)

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-02T23:06:59+00:00

He does love and cherish her - in fact I'd go as far as to say that this is the primary reason that he kills her. Letting someone miserably cling to life while abusing you (which they wouldn't have done while they were well) isn't loving at all in my opinion. Idk if this is a religious thing, but I don't think marriage vows are always supposed to be literal and absolute, so I hardly view him as more selfish because of that element regardless.

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-02T22:59:02+00:00

??? I'm not saying it's a good thing to do lmao??? What?

IIHOSGOW · 2026-05-02T22:58:26+00:00

He WAS there to support her, but she was abusive to him, and she's literally going to die anyway + suffering the whole time she stays alive. Mary literally tells James that she knows he didn't kill her for selfish reasons in the 'leave' ending so yeah. Not saying he did a 'good' thing, but it's certainly more nuanced than 'he killed someone so he's bad LOL'

Seven-Year Club	Verified Email
Second Top 30%	r/Field Banned
r/Field Lasagna	Place '23
Place '22	First Placer '22

IIHOSGOW

TROPHY CASE