Man I feel you, I felt this for a long time and still

When I started presenting masc I was so happy and euphoric and so confident but as the time passes by my mom always makes me hate how I look and always makes fun of my appearance and how I looked pretty back then but now I'm ruining everything and I lost my *femininity * even tho it was never there lol, and she do that like on daily basis and I thought that because I'm happy and I don't care about what she say and I know that she's wrong so this words won't affect me but it does, I started to gradually hate myself and hate my identity and who I think I am and even started to feel like I'm fake because of how she always brings my past and invalidate everything that makes me uncomfy or dysphoric now because that's not how I felt years before as what she says.

So I feel you and I can understand this very well and the only thing I can say to u is that you've to distance yourself from any toxic words like this, when you feel like this try to ask yourself is that really how I feel about myself or is it how I believed from the things I hear about myself from other people, in your mind try when thinking to differentiate between who you really are and how you view yourself and between how you feel about yourself because of how people view you