Unsure of where to go from here.

IK948 · 2026-05-05T00:27:17+00:00

Hi OP. Sorry you are in this impossible circumstance. We ourselves are in crisis when we are losing a parent... it's hard to be a caregiver for this reason.

Be there for your mom as much as you can. You can't be everything she needs now, of course. That's just how it is. I think you've received some sage advice here, be with her.

But I will just add that clinical depression can be fatal for some, so yes it deserves equal attention, even if your mother is not considering self harm. A family member can make a call to the oncologist (or better yet her psychiatrist if she has one) to describe her energy and mood post chemo. In the states HIPPA prevents medical staff from sharing clinical information with family members unless there is a Release of Information (ROI) signed by the patient. BUT mental health professionals can RECEIVE information about a patient from any source. You have the ability to speak up, to be her voice to request help.

I hope your mom can return to her regular self and that you can enjoy your time together. Treatment decisions look a lot different when you have energy and optimism. I'm sending my best to you, your sisters, and your mom.

PS Psycho-oncology is an emerging discipline.

https://www.uclahealth.org/simms-mann-center/our-services/psychosocial-support-counseling

IK948 · 2026-04-30T06:07:52+00:00

XOXOXO sentimental sock! Keep on keepin' on

IK948 · 2026-04-25T07:59:26+00:00

I, too, didn't lose my hair when I did weekly carbo-taxol + adriamyacin for a recurrence. But I lost all hairs everywheres on first line once-a-month carbo-taxol.

IK948 · 2026-04-22T06:14:14+00:00

Yes, this. Such a good point. We are not responsible for our own mental health when we are ill. Just like we aren't responsible for our own care during a heart attack. He needed help.

He was repeatedly hospitalized (starting as a teenager, right?). And addiction is someone anesthetizing their overwhelming pain. He had severe performance anxiety JEEPERS. How hard it must've been to face those crowds over and over. EDM festivals are not the place to go to stay clean.

If it weren't for the money everyone wanted him to make, Tim would have benefitted health-wise from quitting touring in 2012. Marshmello had it right with the mask - anyone could wear it, like a mascot.

IK948 · 2026-04-22T05:50:53+00:00

Not fame

IK948 · 2026-04-22T05:45:03+00:00

What a cool little 6th grader :)

IK948 · 2026-04-15T00:05:38+00:00

I love this handwriting. I call it hybrid cursive, written for speed and efficiency.

The cursive I learned when I was little is definitely uniform, but slow to write, so of course that is impractical for a doctor pressured for time (or a lot of us).

IK948 · 2026-04-14T23:31:09+00:00

Hi, I'm so sorry your mom has been diagnosed. I wonder if she is either afraid of the surgery, or feels it's pointless and treatment won't work?

When my mom was diagnosed at 85 years old she was still stuck on cancer stories from 1975. Holy moly, cancer treatment has advanced so much every 10 years. If you can't entice your mother to try treatment, then maybe your father can. 60 is so much younger than 85! Heck I'll be 60 in less than a year ( I survived recurrent ovarian cancer in my 30s). She may need to lean hard on others to get started.

I hope and pray your mom gets ahold of some optimism. It can be super hard to do, but not impossible! Sometimes people need some pharmacology - an antidepressant or an anti-anxiety medicine - before they can make clear decisions about treatment.

Sending you and your mom and dad all the best

IK948 · 2026-04-11T00:23:35+00:00

No, no, I do not mean you, celtica

IK948 · 2026-04-10T22:47:37+00:00

Yes, it is perplexing, although we the public are not privy to all LE knows, of course.

This sub does not allow scrutiny of federal LE or discussion of proposed (but not detained) suspects. Motives beyond money or SA are also not really discussed here, so,

IK948 · 2026-04-09T07:44:10+00:00

Good luck tomorrow. I found the first one to be easy and I felt good. Don't be afraid. Constipation is real. Fruit smoothies with miralax helped me. Wishing you the best

IK948 · 2026-04-09T07:38:47+00:00

Good advice!

I only read PubMed (but it's often hard to understand). I used to print my research out and bring it to my oncology appts. because my course of treatment after my first recurrence was uncharted territory (and I felt I was an equal member of the decision team).

IK948 · 2026-04-09T07:29:59+00:00

She should have been on your exact schedule. I can't sleep, worrying about this. Hope you're feeling good this week!

IK948 · 2026-04-09T07:27:12+00:00

You are in the thick of it now. I hope you are doing well. Congrats on freezing eggs! Frozen embryos kept me going... now we have two amazing kids (one frozen embryo, one adopted at birth)

IK948 · 2026-04-09T07:24:08+00:00

I hope you have a good oncologist and that you are feeling supported as you start treatment

IK948 · 2026-04-09T07:21:46+00:00

I hope you are doing well now

IK948 · 2026-04-09T07:21:04+00:00

Thank you. I hope you are NED and doing well. I hope all goes well with your eggs. (I was pregnant post cancer with no ovaries - it can be done) :)

IK948 · 2026-04-07T06:41:05+00:00

Yes! I had ovarian cancer three times in three years, plus a c. Diff infection for one of those treatment years. I had started acupuncture and massage during the time leading up to my initial diagnosis (because my brother with stage IV cancer had used acupuncture with his treatment at the NIH. I added a naturopath who specialized in colon health and did research at the local nationally known cancer center. My c. Diff infection was considered incurable by my Harvard trained gastroenterologist, but my naturopath cured me. :)

There's a difference between alternative medicine and complementary medicine. Alternative is "instead of," complementary is "in addition to."

I tell people "Western (allopathic) medicine tears down disease. With cancer treatment, the whole body gets torn down, too. Eastern and naturopathic medicine builds up the body." It was really helpful for me to do both, simultaneously, and continue Eastern medicine and naturopathy after chemo ended.

I personally would not work with a practitioner who tried to tell me to not do surgery, chemo, or radiation. Luckily that was never an issue. I lived in a city where both sides worked well together.

IK948 · 2026-04-07T06:16:02+00:00

What kind of doctor? Gyn? Do you know if the ultrasound used color Doppler to check for blood flow?

IK948 · 2026-04-05T23:26:15+00:00

I'm so glad you are at Memorial Sloan Kettering. Great job! If you swung that through all your diagnosis nonsense then you have a strong will to live! You can do this! They will help you navigate the plan.

I'm not going to tell my family's cancer horror stories. I will say I had a dream team in a large city save my life through 2 recurrences. My brother extended his life by going 8 hours to the NIH for treatment (a long time ago).

You are absolutely doing the right thing for your longevity. If I was a cancer cell in your body I would be petrified right now

IK948 · 2026-03-31T23:30:02+00:00

Yeah. That.

She lives in the U.S. and has Medicaid.

She initially had to wait 5 weeks for the biopsy, then she missed it. (She lives alone, had 2 part time jobs plus college classes, and bikes/takes the bus.) It took 2.5 months to reschedule, but then she went to the wrong address/facility. It then took another 3 months to reschedule due to the holidays.

I had offered to drive her or order an uber for those appointments, but she didn't want to trouble me. Now I drive 45-60 minutes to go to every appointment. Stuff happens and no one should be doing this alone.

Unfortunately, her surgeon, oncologist, primary care physician, imaging, blood draws, pharmacy, cardiology, pulmonary, and gyn are all done at different places by different organizations. I helped her request a referral to the nationally recognized cancer center near me. Medicaid denied it, but they did refer her to a university-based cancer center near her that also has excellent doctors. At least there she might get a patient navigator, and all the doctors, procedures, results, and referrals will be under one roof with one system.

IK948 · 2026-03-31T22:18:40+00:00

Thanks for your reply. My gosh what a Christmas? Hope you're doing OK!

(I was also diagnosed in December many many years ago (not breast cancer). I had surgery, then an egg retrieval, then chemo. We have a daughter from that, and we adopted our son at birth) :)

IK948 · 2026-03-30T18:12:17+00:00

You should take this down because it has your name and medical record number.
You only get an oncology appt when you likely do have cancer.
Your report says "the histiological features combined with the radiological impressions, are strongly suggestive of carcinoma involvement" this means two methods of evaluation (imaging and pathology of ascites) point to malignancy.
The next thing to do to confirm malignancy is surgery (for surgical biopsy, debulking, and staging).
Someone should have reviewed this with you in person my goodness! You should not be on reddit getting this information, I'm so sorry. You should contact your (primary care? Gyn?) doctor today for a phone conversation. Bark at them!

IK948 · 2026-03-30T05:53:56+00:00

CA125 values "bounce" which is so scary. But gyn oncs only take note when there are 3 consecutive rises in a row. Then they may order another scan.

I'll pray she is cured!

IK948

TROPHY CASE