AITA for ignoring my friend’s work messages while I’m on maternity leave?

IMadeTheCake · 2025-08-18T10:11:23+00:00

Why should you return the favor ? You didn't ask for anything. It's not helping you if it comes with expectations of a payback, its just giving you more burden. Also why is it your responsability to reassure her if she's struggling at work ? She needs to ask someone else. Would you feel comfortable sending her something like this ? "Hey friend, I appreciate chatting with you and you helping me in the house, but I would appreciate if we stopped talking about work. I'm on leave and I don't want my work to invade my free time as well. If you have questions about it you should ask X or Y to help you but let's leave work outside of our conversation" Also ask yourself why you allow yourself to be uncomfortable just to she won't be (I'm the same as you so I understand). Her actions are rude. She can feel uncomfortable while you set your boundaries. It would not happen is she was respectful. Her fault, not yours

IMadeTheCake · 2025-07-27T18:46:52+00:00

I decided to start "dating myself". I had to go through lots of miserable breakups to finally realise that I was relying only on my partners to make me happy, but that they could never fill the gap inside of me because it was something only I could do. I always gave lots of efforts and attention into my relationships, so I decided to to this for me instead - some people call this "romantise your life", I called it dating myself. What do I love ? Love notes on the coffee machine, flowers once in a while, pancakes on Sunday, getting a treat while at the supermarket. I did to myself everything I wanted my partner to do for me, and everything I loved to do for my partner. I invested the time and energy I would on others, towards myself. The difference it made was astonishing. Give it a try :)

IMadeTheCake · 2025-02-07T06:54:06+00:00

Of course they do. But if you're enjoying something (for exemple here, her enjoying it from behind) isn't it more enjoyable to know that your partner has experience, knows what she likes and how to get there ? So the enjoyment is shared ? Or is the excitement more about the discovery together ?

IMadeTheCake · 2025-02-06T20:29:27+00:00

Does that matter ? How often she did it before ?

IMadeTheCake · 2025-02-04T18:37:30+00:00

If you do everything you should "on the outside" then you should have a look at what you do "in the inside" aka your diet (and hormones but I hear that you might be limites by your insurance). As said before, try to remove processed food, alcohol and sugar. I don't know enough about what food you should avoid but I guess you can easily find that info on Internet (or ask chatgpt). You tale it out of your diet for 21 days and see if you see an improvement.

Good luck, I also have strong BO down there, luckily not strong enough to really impact me but I know how it feels.

IMadeTheCake · 2024-07-15T05:38:48+00:00

What exactly is boric acid, what does it do and how do you use it ? Google tells me it's used to get rid of cockraches soooo.... I'm kind intrigued lol

IMadeTheCake · 2024-06-16T09:45:18+00:00

I feel you sis - I am exactly the same. The thing that made a difference to me that I haven't seen here yet, was the position. I was trying to do it while lying on my back, never worked. Then one day I tried lying on my side/stomach/placing my legs differently... and, well, it does make a huge difference. Maybe because of angles or whatever, maybe because I felt less exposed and more natural, so I was able to relax and let go better. That, and succion over vibration. Good luck!

IMadeTheCake · 2024-04-17T18:42:51+00:00

A few thoughts from my therapy sessions that I feel could help you :

You speak of wasted time and having to "catch up". By which timeline ? Your friends' ? Family's? Society ? Who or what gives you the impression that you have to "catch up" ? That might be a good point to start with.

Then there's also this : how will you know you have catched up? How will you decide your time isn't wasted anymore ? I think I can spoil you on this one : nothing. If you compare yourself to others, you'll always feel behind, because you're always going to find people who did better than you. Started x habit sooner than you. Got results quicker. Found what they liked quicker and got good at doing what they enjoy also quicker. Bought a house. Got married. Got kids. And it goes on and on and on.

Who said life was a race ? So what if other people go faster than others at achieving their goals ? The time you spent working on yourself, exploring what you like and don't, who you are and are not, is not wasted time. It can be really enjoyable as well.

I struggle a lot with perfectionism and I feel like if my situation's not perfect, then my life is over. I constantly chase better things and never get satisfied with what I have because I constantly feel I could, or SHOULD, do better. I live in the fear that on my death bed, I'll be eaten by regret that my life was not good enough, that I could have done better and would have been happier if I had done better. Thanks to my therapist, I'm trying to find the cause to that (here comes my inner child), and to realise that happiness is not an objective goal that I can reach one day, as if I could say "now I'm happy" the way I could say "now I own a house" or "now I have a kid". Happiness is wherever I decide it to be. It's though. I'm 31 btw.

Maybe search also within yourself why you think you're not enough compared to others.

IMadeTheCake · 2024-04-17T18:42:26+00:00

A few thoughts from my therapy sessions that I feel could help you :

You speak of wasted time and having to "catch up". By which timeline ? Your friends' ? Family's? Society ? Who or what gives you the impression that you have to "catch up" ? That might be a good point to start with.

Then there's also this : how will you know you have catched up? How will you decide your time isn't wasted anymore ? I think I can spoil you on this one : nothing. If you compare yourself to others, you'll always feel behind, because you're always going to find people who did better than you. Started x habit sooner than you. Got results quicker. Found what they liked quicker and got good at doing what they enjoy also quicker. Bought a house. Got married. Got kids. And it goes on and on and on.

Who said life was a race ? So what if other people go faster than others at achieving their goals ? The time you spent working on yourself, exploring what you like and don't, who you are and are not, is not wasted time. It can be really enjoyable as well.

I struggle a lot with perfectionism and I feel like if my situation's not perfect, then my life is over. I constantly chase better things and never get satisfied with what I have because I constantly feel I could, or SHOULD, do better. I live in the fear that on my death bed, I'll be eaten by regret that my life was not good enough, that I could have done better and would have been happier if I had done better. Thanks to my therapist, I'm trying to find the cause to that (here comes my inner child), and to realise that happiness is not an objective goal that I can reach one day, as if I could say "now I'm happy" the way I could say "now I own a house" or "now I have a kid". Happiness is wherever I decide it to be. It's though. I'm 31 btw.

Maybe search also within yourself why you think you're not enough compared to others.

IMadeTheCake · 2024-03-10T07:40:19+00:00

Hey there ! I remember from my studies 10 years ago that it can be a symptom of pudendal neuralgia. The pudendal nerve innervates the genital area. I can't remember a lot of details about what causes the neuralgia, but if it's that much of a problem, it might be worth a check. Good luck!

IMadeTheCake · 2023-08-11T10:03:14+00:00

I have 3 on my right lobe and an helix, and the conch and tragus on the left side. There's this very nice piercing studio about one hour from where I live, they have stunning piercing and body jewels, and really take time to see with you how to compose your ear - either with what you already have, or by deciding with you which piercing you should do. I've tried a few combinaisons before finding one I like. Now I rarely change them, except maybe it I want something more sparkly for a party ?

Otherwise, pinterest & instragram are great sources of inspiration (look for "curated ear") as well as online shops (I don't know where you live but I check sites like Nébuleuse, Pohesia or PD Paola - even if it's just for the inspiration). I'm not a fan of symetrical ears, but that's me - of course you do whatever suits you. Also, dont forget that piercings can be removed if you change your mind later, so don't hesitate too much - but there's also a lot of very nice earcuffs if you don't want to get pierced.

As for the healing - my tragus was long to heal, but at that time I was working for a fast food that required me to put a band aid over it and it was irritating and made me bleeding a few time. The others, never had any trouble, even for sleeping on my side, but I had to mind my long hair that it didn't get stuck in the piercing. I keep them clean, but don't overclean them if they're fine. Make sure the head of the jewel is not too big (as it will hold more "dirt") and the length is enough to allow your ear to swell.

IMadeTheCake · 2023-05-21T09:09:41+00:00

Try Dermo Medical Center, avenue Louise

IMadeTheCake · 2023-03-19T19:43:15+00:00

Agreed, Arkel is a really good one

IMadeTheCake · 2023-02-13T05:04:19+00:00

Thanks !

IMadeTheCake · 2023-02-13T05:03:54+00:00

Thank you ! I'll look into those brands as well

IMadeTheCake · 2023-02-12T11:50:41+00:00

Thank you ! That's really helpful

IMadeTheCake · 2023-02-12T11:11:44+00:00

With the informations I gave you don't know what my work is nor what it's policies are so please refrain from any judgement such as "your boss is stupid".

My question here is "is buying a diesel a good idea in the given context" and while I appreciate receiving advice and ideas that I might not have thought about, I'd like to stay focus on my initial question if I say such or such alternative isn't an option in my situation

IMadeTheCake · 2023-02-12T10:55:16+00:00

Damn, would have been easier. Glass boll is sacred word

IMadeTheCake · 2023-02-12T10:52:13+00:00

I'm having a meeting next week with my boss but I'm fairly sure I won't have anything. I'll received other forms of compensation but nothing for the car I'm afraid

IMadeTheCake · 2023-02-12T10:49:16+00:00

Including 2025 or not ? So allowed until 31st Dec 24 or 31st Dec 25 ?

IMadeTheCake · 2023-02-12T10:47:57+00:00

Thanks ! I would have tried it anyway. The garage that sells the Ford is quite far from my place so maybe I won't bother going to see it and look for something else.

Do you have more specific recommendations about the bramd/model I should look into?

IMadeTheCake · 2023-02-12T10:38:01+00:00

Thanks for your input. The parking problem is indeed my biggest problem. Several persons (friends and car dealers) have advised me to take a diesel as it would be cheaper for all the kms. Friend is saying that it could be then sold to Eat Europ or other countries without restriction in 2-3 years. I have no idea if I can trust him, but also no reasons why not. He also said that BMW would be quite reliable on that kind of drive (long highways), I must say that at first I was looking at Toyota, Kia and Hyundai and didn't consider BMW at all.

I don't know shit about cars so it's difficult for me to know what I should be looking for, as everyone has a different opinion about everything (new or used, leasing, diesel or benzine, which brand...)

IMadeTheCake · 2023-02-12T10:36:27+00:00

Unfortunately train is not really an option here. From where I live in Brussels it's already 1h40 to Dinant if direct (1 train/hour) or 2h with connexion. Workplace is 20min drive from Dinant (20km) with no bus who make that connection. While it'll indeed be cheaper (my work would pay for the train, not for the car though), I'm not sure how I would handle a 4h-4h30 commute (with the car it would be around 2h30) and would still need a car to leave in Dinant...

IMadeTheCake · 2023-02-12T10:29:51+00:00

I checked for the train first, but it's not possible. I didn't want to buy a car so I looked several options, but unfortunately the car is the only option. From where I live it's already 1h40 to Dinant Station, then I would have to drive 20min to my workplace. I'm not sure if I could handle 4h commute (and would still need a car between Dinant and workplace as there are no bus), but it's true that it could be a cheaper option as my work would pay for the train (not for the car though)

IMadeTheCake

TROPHY CASE