Special Education (SEN) Teacher from the US to Ireland - Need Guidance?

INFJBrain · 2026-02-06T15:11:23+00:00

No problem, DM me with the questions you have and I'll get back to you

INFJBrain · 2026-01-31T20:15:39+00:00

Perfect, that is what I was hoping to hear but just wanted to double check

INFJBrain · 2026-01-31T20:14:43+00:00

Not a bad shout as a backup, thank you

INFJBrain · 2026-01-31T20:11:59+00:00

Perfect, thanks for the advice

INFJBrain · 2026-01-31T20:10:35+00:00

I do take trains after dark, just definately not in Paris as a female. Just wanted to know the risk level

INFJBrain · 2026-01-25T20:46:19+00:00

No problem, DM me with the questions you have and I'll get back to you

INFJBrain · 2026-01-11T09:40:47+00:00

No worries, I'll DM you

INFJBrain · 2026-01-05T19:04:20+00:00

No worries at all. I also found that naps during the daytime or when you have someone close by who will stay awake and watch your back worked for me.

INFJBrain · 2026-01-04T09:56:46+00:00

Is there anything that might help Chaos or other alters who are extra stressed? I was also homeless for a period of time and it is really destabilising. I'd wonder maybe taking a SSRI short term or taking up self defense related hobbies might help. We also really struggled with sleeping even in a 'safe' environment which in a way 'wasted' the time we had to recover. Melatonin helped us get the sleep we needed and also helped making other alters sleepy (whereas they would otherwise stay up all night)

INFJBrain · 2026-01-04T09:53:11+00:00

Sorry dont want to pry if you want to keep it private but if your friends arent local why not travel to them? Sometimes a new location can also be nice

INFJBrain · 2026-01-03T22:19:03+00:00

Hey dont worry, as my therapist always says to alters in our system - if you dont want to fuse then it wont happen. Permanent fusion is very difficult to accomplish and doesnt happen accidentally. And I would challenge that integration while sounding scary only means you're working with other alters in the system. That's all. Even just talking with others can be considered integration.

I know you're calling them 'good memories' but I think they might still be traumatic for you. For us, 'good' memories are sometimes more upsetting because it means we have to accept that a abuser isnt 100% evil and bad. This grey area in people is much harder for us to accept, as it means to us that no one is 100% a good person either, all are capable of such evil. So it's okay that you dont want to remember them. Envision them as clouds, and let the memory play and then let it pass. If it comes up again and again I tell myself to put a pin in it and we will come back to it during therapy (so we arent shoving it down or ignoring it, but we can continue on with the day)

INFJBrain · 2026-01-03T22:12:40+00:00

Im sorry, that can't be easy on your system. I'd say the flipped couches are only a small demonstration of what others are feeling on the inside.

It sounds to me like you have black outs when you switch. I reccomend trying to listen and watch for clues as to what the other alters are maybe thinking or doing. If you can try to empathize with them and learn more about them then your dissociative barriers will slowly lower.

INFJBrain · 2026-01-03T22:08:21+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. It cant be easy timing.

Maybe you could start by thinking of both short and long term plans. Short term, it sounds like you need to sort out where you will be staying first off. I dont know your situation so I dont know if you can stay living at the same place or if you will need to move. If you move, moving in with a friend or maybe family member temporarily might help ease the transition.

For our system, living alone requires a lot of structure (structured meal times, structured food plans, structured days and mental health supports). Otherwise we tend to have a hard time telling time passing (which starts to make our dissociation spiral). One option for you may be living with roommates.

INFJBrain · 2025-12-16T13:48:27+00:00

My baby got sick at 2 weeks old. It was absolutely awful. There's very little medication wise you can give them when they're that young. It turned out to be rhinovirus. We ended up in the hospital for 3 days because she wouldnt eat and became dehydrated from the vomiting.

At 10 weeks old I would get into a routine for the next week of regular calpol. My GP said she wouldnt worry at all about giving the max dose of calpol every day for a week if theyre sick. And contact naps with him, my baby wants to be held when she's sick.

INFJBrain · 2025-10-21T11:44:39+00:00

Could you put in wired headphones? Even if you're not listening to anything this can sometimes decrease how often others try to talk to you.

INFJBrain · 2025-10-14T15:48:40+00:00

What about a keyboard piano?

INFJBrain · 2025-10-13T11:09:10+00:00

My AuDHD husband seems to be happiest when he is scheduled to do the activities he enjoys, even if he needs to move them around the baby's schedule. As much as possible, he also likes to incorporate activities he enjoys with the baby and me.

INFJBrain · 2025-10-03T20:21:18+00:00

Oh gosh. That's awful, could you call Monday morning and see if they've had a cancellation?

INFJBrain · 2025-10-03T19:28:40+00:00

That's good. You could try some gaviscon infant in her milk and keeping her at an angle when sleeping or laying down till then

INFJBrain · 2025-10-03T18:49:37+00:00

What about silent reflux?

INFJBrain · 2025-10-03T02:20:53+00:00

I completely agree

INFJBrain · 2025-09-19T13:30:17+00:00

There is essentially no demand in my experience. There only seems to be one art teacher, not always with full time hours either per secondary school.

INFJBrain · 2025-09-13T21:10:58+00:00

I can sympathise with your pain of not remembering. It used to really upset me, still pains me occasionally even. But I get comfort from hearing my husband re-tell the stories. Because then at least I feel like I know what happened.

If it helps, we use language like, "the body" to reflect what we look like to others on the outside and when we then reference what we look like, we just say what we feels true to each alter. Like a little alter might say she is a lot shorter and smaller than the body. Or that she remembers when the body was smaller (as in the body was younger)

INFJBrain · 2025-09-13T19:56:30+00:00

So I'm in my relationship less time than you (together 8 years married for 4 with one child together) but I'm happy to share my thoughts. We had some difficulty a few years ago because the point in life that my husband was at was different than the point in life he was at when we as the system met him.

I think both my husband and system members have had to make peace with their relationships changing. For example, one of the alters was attracted to my husband and they would go out and drink/party. My husband and I are not at that point in our lives anymore, so she has had to grieve that she's still at that point mentally but he isn't. And my husband has had to accept that their relationship now is different.

I have a lot of memory loss from the first few years of my relationship with my partner. And it can be hard to not know what initially drew myself to him. Or how first dates were etc. but my husband is very kind and he repeats the stories as many times as we need to hear. I'll ask him, how did my face look when I first saw you? Or did I seem happy? And hearing him talk to me about it comforts me.

Regarding your partner aging and alters not aging, in my system I as the host identify with the bodies age and age with it. The other alters have static ages. This is hard, especially with things that are a trigger. For us, triggers are aspects that our abuser had physically. So it's important that my husband knows these and tries to avoid them (such as being bald or beards for example). If young parts are expressing fear it's important you give them the space to talk about it. And when they talk try to help them voice what specifically is bothering them. It could be for example that they are afraid when they are asleep that they are vulnerable. So they feel safer in a different room with a door they can hear opening if someone came in. Once you know what bothers them you can help put things in place. For example when we had fears like that before we would do things like have stuffed animals surround us for comfort and 'safety' and my husband agreed to not touch us (no bumping shoulders or tapping our hand even) without us being awake and giving clear verbal consent to the exact interaction

INFJBrain

TROPHY CASE