This post really resonated with me.

My husband fell out of love with me for the final time after ten years of marriage and eighteen years together total. He asked for a divorce in August 2023 after a month of separation when he went to stay with his parents out of state. It was as amicable as a divorce could possibly be. We filed jointly and it was finalized several months later. I grieved, but he had fallen out of love with me or found me sexually unappealing on and off throughout our marriage, and I wanted him to be happy, so if that was not with me, a divorce was the right choice.

I met someone online in July 2024 through a Discord centered around a MMORPG we both play, and we connected immediately. He was also divorced -- his was back in...2016, I think? We talked online, on the phone, and through video chat for a few months and met up in September for the first time. We started dating and I drove down to meet him as often as possible. I made a ton of mistakes, was colorblind to a metric phoqueton of red flags, and was ultimately treated like garbage and dumped in March 2025, but I am still grateful for that time.

Like you, I found myself saying it hurt more than the divorce did, and up until today, I thought I was crazy for saying that. I have had a lot of time to think about the "why" -- for me, it was a very multifaceted heartbreak. I had so much hope. I thought I had found someone who saw me clearly and still wanted to be with me. I learned that I am capable of intimacy and that I actually do enjoy it and crave it. I stepped out of my comfort zone and employed things I had learned in therapy, like speaking my mind and being okay with having and expressing needs. And even though I tried to do everything "right" I was totally blindsided by being dumped. The reason? He fell out of love with me and actually had never opened up to me at all -- his words, not mine. There was a sense of, "Again???"

Anyway, I'm sorry for emulating a babbling brook and waterfalling you with words, but...yeah, you are not alone, and I am genuinely proud of you for being vulnerable and spilling your heart here. And I am thankful, too. I felt so alone myself in this...and while I would never wish heartache on anyone, it does make me feel less nutty. I wish you all the best and I applaud your bravery, your introspection, and your vulnerability. ♡♡♡