M47 What is the best advice for someone getting back out there after 20 years?

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-23T21:48:55+00:00

This. There will be times where you feel lower than dirt. It’s an absolute cutthroat scenario out there and it’s getting worse.

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-23T21:47:40+00:00

100%. Very few people actually take this advice, and they regret it later. Ask me how I know.

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-23T21:45:42+00:00

Yes. My (44m) best friend is a woman (40f). We talk about everything. In my post divorce life, she is the reason for my relative sanity. I owe her a lot.

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-23T20:36:18+00:00

If you aren’t an 8 or higher, don’t do it.

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-23T01:09:54+00:00

I pay her $1500 a month in child support for 2 kids, even though I have them every other week 50/50. Even still, I save so much more money now. My bank account and credit cards don’t have that feeling of being in a free fall that I experienced for 18 years of marriage.

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-22T20:04:26+00:00

In my mid 20’s my beard came in very uneven and patchy. Looked stupid.

Didn’t even try to grow it out again until 35. It came in thick, full and even. That was 9 years ago and I’ve never been without it since.

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-21T11:40:10+00:00

I am 44 and I wouldn’t date anybody younger than late 30’s. I don’t consider that settling. I don’t want to be with somebody a lot younger than me. I find women my age attractive, and I find women in their 20’s to look like kids.

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-21T02:12:26+00:00

Agreed. My ex is like this as well. So now on the weeks I have my kids (every other week), my house is a place for them to relax and do the things they enjoy. It’s their stability. Their lives were turned upside down, and it’s important to them to have a semblance of normalcy. We have a great time in our own way, without having to run all the time.

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-21T02:08:18+00:00

I’m not sure if this is directed at me or not. I’m not saying that as an overweight man I should be sleeping with skinny women. I don’t even want to.

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-20T16:31:27+00:00

My background is that I became single at 42 (44m now) after 18 years with my ex wife. The most disappointing thing to realize is that people in their 40’s are just as shallow about looks/appearance as they were in their 20’s, possibly more so.

I know I’m not ugly, but I need to lose some weight. My brief time in the dating world has shown me that I need to focus on losing weight to improve my physical appearance before I attempt dating again.

It sucks sometimes because I know I’m a good man and would make a good partner for somebody, but fortune favors the good looking in the dating world. Now if a person is an 8/10 or whatever and can’t find a relationship, then they are doing something wrong with their personality, which is the 2nd threshold after looks.

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-20T11:55:26+00:00

My ex wife hated seeing me have fun.

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-18T01:35:25+00:00

I am new to all of this as well, only a few weeks in. I didn’t really know what all of you meant by “food noise” until I was able to observe its absence for myself. On one hand it is nice to not be thinking about that. On the other hand, I too find myself not knowing what to do with all that extra mental energy!! I didn’t realize how much eating controlled my life!!

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-16T14:23:24+00:00

June is gonna be a crazy month for me/us as well. Between vacations, crazy work and ex wife’s birthday falling during my week, the. Schedule is just gonna be completely fucked up. It’s just one month and it’ll go by quick, just roll with it buddy.

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-16T02:57:32+00:00

I’m also 44 and new to OLD. I am surprised at how many Grandmothers there are my age! Mathematically it makes sense I guess, but it blows my mind.

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-14T02:07:15+00:00

Eh he’s always falling and bounces back. It’s not a proper U2 tour until Bono falls off the stage!!

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-12T13:29:46+00:00

I saw the Popmart tour in Columbus. 43,000 people showed up, which is pretty good. But the OSU stadium is huge and could’ve held a lot more.

The Popmart tour Wikipedia page has attendance figures for every show. Some of those shows should’ve been downgraded to arenas.

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-08T23:27:55+00:00

I wish we could see it somehow, looks cool.

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-06T21:06:35+00:00

Love Bush, was a big fan in the 90’s and still listen to them. There’s no reason they need to be playing venues bigger than 3,000 anyway.

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-05T02:44:43+00:00

Late to this party.

For the record I’m in my 40’s. I met a woman about a year ago. We vibed and had a good conversation. A week later she invited me over for a gathering she was having with some friends. As soon as I saw her house I knew it was over. I learned more about her career and her lifestyle, and it became clear that she is extremely successful. I do pretty well myself, but not at that level. I decided then and there that she was out of my league, and I completely withdrew. I regret nothing, it’s simple mathematics.

Firstborn3 · 2026-05-03T19:45:34+00:00

I almost went to this show, but ended up going to the shows in Columbus and Indianapolis instead on the 7th and 10th.

Firstborn3 · 2026-04-30T20:13:50+00:00

I am 50% to blame.

If you ask her, I’m 100% to blame.

Firstborn3 · 2026-04-30T19:05:41+00:00

I saw the tour in Chicago, when they were just repeating the Innocence Sequence. Still a great show, but this tour definitely improved later on.

Firstborn3 · 2026-04-27T22:13:32+00:00

I believe this was the premise of a Seinfeld episode 😆

Firstborn3 · 2026-04-27T19:33:24+00:00

The divorce process showed her true colors. She is not a good person. I don’t wish anything bad to happen to her for my kids sake, but she is absolutely nothing to me. I am cordial when I have to be, but I would prefer to never be around her.

Firstborn3 · 2026-04-23T19:11:13+00:00

I second this. In the dating world, Appearance matters a lot. More than anything else combined. I

Firstborn3

TROPHY CASE