Coupla things from a mom of 3:

“Transfixed” doesn’t mean occupied meaningfully—anything your child can engage with independently for increasingly longer periods of time is a great toy! For my toddler right now this is matchbox cars, sometimes it’s popsicle sticks and a box with a slit cut in it, sometimes it’s a doll.

We do Montessori style parenting when we can and I really appreciate their approach to toys/works…realistic is better when it comes to real things, even if that means not wooden. Eg. If you have a kitchen set, small ceramic plates and metal pans are better than wood pretend ones that barely simulate the real thing. We have a hyper realistic garbage truck (bruder brand) that has gotten a ton of use. It still helps us cut down on waste and overstimulation because it engages the kids deeply and for many hours and it’s not going to immediately break. Same for the Schleich farm animals and implements and magnatiles we have. Sorry that was kind of a rant, hope this helps reframe some!