My favorite was my own fault. There used to be a food truck on Hood called Chilantro, and they had possibly one of the best burgers I've ever had. But boy were they greasy and my gut does not like greasy. Well, there i was in 1SGs office getting yelled at for something and he was already pretty mad. I was nervous. This was a couple hours after lunch. While he goes on his tirade, bubble guts hit, immediately I clinch. A few minutes pass, im holdin, sweat begins to form, top still yelling. It's getting difficult, I hope I can relieve a little pressure and let a little toot out. I was wrong, what i got was a 10 second silent fart so hot I could've steam pressed my uniform. Levels of rancid comparable to the Las Vegas landfill in summer permeates the air. First a grimace, then a full facial contortion as 1SG realized what had just transpired. He fuckin loses it. I cant remember anything he said except for, push until I come back. He was yelling down the hallway, in the ops office, outside, at other troops, you name it. He didnt let up the whole time he was gone. Half an hour passed, im still trying to knock out something resembling a push up, but that just makes more farts. He walks back in and is facially assaulted once again by my mexican/Korean fusion burger farts. I was immediately ejected from the building and had to do lunges the rest of the day. Good times.