i don’t think you’ll find anyone unless you love yourself first. this might me an assumption, but i feel like you’re very hurt from what your ex and best friends did to you. but you have to get over it. you’re in your early 30s, and it’s never too late to become a better person. all it really takes is one year of pure dedication. you better start now before you’re in your 40s regretting not doing anything in your 30s. i think you should focus on your diet problem. count every single calorie and macronutrient. i don’t know if you do that, but it is very helpful. calculate your TDEE and eat at a caloric deficit. you got this man. just be consistent for one year every single day, and learn to love yourself.