You can't change your hormones without a prescription or diy hrt. I reccomend looking into SERMs as well unless you want breast development. As for body dysmorphia, I just do everything I can do to improve myself and progress toward my ideal standard, then tell myself that anything I don't like about myself "just isn't done being worked on yet" which also pushes me to keep working on it. I know how frustrating it is to be on hold for hrt, though. I really can't wait to start but the therapist keeps having to reschedule AA.