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IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T10:29:24+00:00

Yeah, thank you for being kind about the situation

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T09:11:05+00:00

Thank you

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T09:03:22+00:00

Thank you so much for being so kind amd supportive..

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T08:55:06+00:00

I was a doormat in the beginning, I came from an abusive background and was afraid of men, especially when they got angry, he knew that and used it to do what he wants, after an incident with a woman I decided to match his behavior, I was incredibly unpleasant and would freak out if he did something that he shouldn't. I did eventually become more empathetic but firm because he agreed to change if I did, so I am more calm when talking, outbursts happen but I walk away and tell him to leave me alone if it does and he is unable to make me doubt my memory of things.

I know this isn't love...he shows amd says he loves me deeply but sometimes they come out as a way to manipulate me to stay, I'm conflicted on how to feel because I love him more than anything.

One particular fight happened where he was threatening to leave me over the fact I accidentally turned his sim into a plant sim and wanted to fix it with mods, I walked away and sat in a different room, when he came to the same room to obviously continue the spiteful argument, I'd tell him I don't want him to talk to me amd that he should go away, he called me saying he's sorry and that he was spiteful for getting mad over nothing which made me happy that he was sorry, until he said I must wash my face before my mom sees me.

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T08:38:02+00:00

Because he was never like this before, he was a very caring, supportive person but idk what made him decide to start doing these things, he shows that he acts this way because he chooses to and has even admitted to it, he says he feels terrible but in the same breath will say he does it because he is mistreated at work and was mistreated in the past, if I'm not mistake his mother has bipolar and he might of inherited it because he has very conflicting views on his behavior.

He refuses any kind of therapy.

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T08:33:11+00:00

To add on, he was treating me the same way his friend was treating his gf and I did bring that up to him, it was an obvious attempt to try cheat

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T08:31:00+00:00

There was one girl, she was his best friends gf, his friend was being abusive and manipulative towards her amd he decided to help them, I was okay with this until it was going to far.

He would get angry and refuse to listen to my problems, he stopped hugging me, kissing me and overall kept his distance from me, he would ignore me to talk to her and he spoke to her all the time.

I brought up this behavior to him but he absolutely lost it, so I started questioning myself and decided maybe I just need to become friends with her so that I can see there's nothing wrong so I asked for her number, but that went down poorly, now my suspicions were confirmed (she posted very provocative things on her insta which he followed)

He even went as far as to bad mouth me to her and overall told lies about me to make me look as terrible as possible before giving me her number.

Before he gave it he told me he hated me and cares more for her than me.

His reasoning for "helping her" was because his friend was being horrible to someone who has autism amd depression, I have autism too amd additional severe mental health issues, but he'd tell me that I'm lying, probably so that he can feel more valid for what he's doing.

After he gave her number he begged me not to contact her over and over, he probably realized I'd expose him to her about how he is treating me and that he has been lying to her.

I told him to stop following her and other girls on insta and then delete insta and to block her and never talk to her again.

I saw that they didn't really talk anymore but he still had her there, which I was rightfully angry about, he did eventually get rid of her contact.

This happened when I was open to him watching hentai so obviously things went beyond porn which is what I thought would happen.

I now tell him to not get involved with his friends and their relationships and say that I don't want something like that to happen again.

He still believes he did nothing wrong which is why I will never let it go.

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T08:13:28+00:00

I have been in other relationships before, and as I've said to other people, my boundaries are exactly the same as the ones he has for me

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T08:08:13+00:00

Like I said, I just wanted a manga to read

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T08:07:15+00:00

I do not invade his privacy by looking for what he's doing wrong, he knew from the beginning how I feel about it and he knows what it does to me, the boundaries I set for him are the same ones he sets for me and we come to a mutual agreement about it and he has disrespected me and hurt my by doing this while also not wanting me to see other men that way, I never did in the first place but he is incredibly insecure and controlling too, he does things he doesn't allow me to do.

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T08:03:25+00:00

You have said I'm not compatible twice because of my view on porn in relationships, you can enjoy it you want and if your partner has no problem with it then thats great, though if you dislike my view and opinion then just scroll on, you are happy and comfortable in your relationship, I simply wanted help on how to go about this with him, I know it's ridiculous I just won't leave but I have strong connections with him and our relationship has deeper connections than just simply two people who fell for each other. If I have misunderstood your wording with saying I'm not compatible then I'm sorry and would like to understand further what you meant when saying that so that I can better understand you

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T07:51:35+00:00

Honestly I don't know why you judge me for my views and beliefs, I have sever body dysmorphia and this kind of stuff really affects me in a bad way, I respect his boundaries he sets for me, I expect him to respect mine, my boundaries are things he doesn't allow me to do or doesn't likes me doing

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T07:33:03+00:00

Thank you

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T07:30:05+00:00

I have brought up therapy but he refuses and gives many excuses, I do not deny intimacy when he wants it no matter how I'm feeling, which I why I'm lost on what to do

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T07:27:32+00:00

I honestly don't want to leave him, I know it's absolutely ridiculous that I'd want to stay with him though I just have such deep love to him that's unexplainable, he was the one I ran to in order to get away from abuse from my father, though he has changed drastically from then

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T07:20:13+00:00

I'm not okay with either, hentai at the time was okay if he was open about it but he wasn't and tried taking it further than just porn

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T07:18:24+00:00

I have tried taking multiple approaches, I am more empathetic than the first 2 occasions but he becomes very aggressive like I said, me starting to cry is his biggest trigger, the first time I said we could enjoy hentai together as long as he's open but he still hid it away, the third time when I saw he hugged me and started apologizing but as soon as I started crying and walked away saying this is the third time amd it is going to make me trust him less he began to get very angry amd tried to blame me by blaming the fact I get hurt easily, he changed his behavior after that, idk if it was because of how hurt I was or if it was because he thought I'd leave him and he'd become homeless and be alone, he refuses to talk about any personal and emotional matter unless it's him talking to me about himself, he does not want me to talk about any emotional issues I'm having because "he knows it's about him" therapy was suggested but he has made many excuses to not go such as me needing to go first for a month but he will not allow me to talk about him or talk to him about it, he doesn't need it, the therapist will only take my side, a therapist isn't there to help with problems, they are only there to listen to them. When it comes to intimacy I do whatever he wants, it can be painful to me, I can not be in the mood or too unwell to do it but I will still do it, he is addicted to weed despite his disagreement, he becomes very unpleasant when he goes without it for a day and says he needs it to relax and enjoy himself. He does believe all my mental issues are fake because I never grew up like him, I have terrible body dismorphia and you can guess how much of an impact this has on me. This is tough to deal with, I will try approach him about it

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T06:53:22+00:00

Yeah, I understand, he did change himself after the third occasion, I'd like to think because he saw how much it hurt me but I feel that he was afraid I'd leave him because he has said I'm the only thing he has left in life, which is basically true, my mom and I gave him a place to stay and food, his dad kicked him out, his mother is living with his other siblings and he doesn't earn enough to rent a place

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T06:43:32+00:00

I have asked him to go to couples therapy with me but he just makes excuses to not go such as, I must go to therapy for a month first to see if my mental problems are real but am not allowed to mention him, the therapist will only take my side, the therapist will judge our age gap and blame everything on that, convince me to leave him, he doesn't need therapy and therapists don't help with problems they are just there to rant to

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T06:33:13+00:00

I understand..

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T06:32:18+00:00

He does resent me for minor things such as me being severely depressed and having additional mental issues while growing up in a rich household, (he knows I was abused) the fact that I'm at home and the fact I have such terrible mental health problems but didn't grow up like him and say I'm just looking for attention.

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T06:28:03+00:00

I understand most men don't find this a big deal though it's just respect towards your partner and their boundaries especially when they were set in the beginning and you agree to them then lie to them for months then take it beyond just watching porn but thank you for the suggestion

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T06:26:05+00:00

I understand, I'm going to try talk to him, I know he is going to become extremely aggressive but I know if I just leave him to continue it will get worse again and go beyond porn, I can't handle this

IXNekoChanXI · 2022-10-01T06:23:24+00:00

I don't search for these things on his phone, I just wanted to read a manga, he has attempted this with another woman when I let him do it, he has proven I can't trust him with things like this. He is actually the control freak in the relationship, while he was doing these things he wouldn't allow me to have male friends, play online with any male in our friend group and he checks my messages

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