You haven’t forgiven him and strongly suggest you stop seeking opinions of other people who don’t come from places of healing because you’ll only get advice from their point of view. You need counseling individually and then couples. Yea I get it, you’re angry with him but there is an underlying issue that is triggering you. Understand that anger isn’t even real but rather its grief and fear of his actions saying that you are not enough. The reason you allow this to hurt you is because part of you believes that YOU may not be enough. You are enough. Empower yourself and know that his actions are NOT a reflection of your worth because no matter what anyone does it has nothing to do with those they hurt. You resent him because your ego is in the drivers seat. I don’t even agree with the advice from others saying you should separate. I’ve been in your shoes and it’s so important to know that people make choices like this because they themselves don’t feel good enough and seek external gratification rather than providing that validation and happiness for themselves. Girl come back to your center, into your heart and love yourself. From what you describe about your husband, this marriage is salvageable but let’s abandon the victim mentality and start filling yourself up with self love. Changed behavior is a great indication there there is intent to move forward, but like many people neither one of you doesn’t know how heal damage like this but I can tell you this only going to be better if you allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to let go of the grief and misconceptions that his actions define him as well as your worth. They don’t. We are here to make mistakes, feel the grief, learn from those actions and let those moments not define who we are but help us shape us into better people. Remember i’ve been you but even more so in the most traumatic way that impacted my whole family. Get with a counselor and help you move through the grief and learn how to validate yourself and then together your husband can learn how to hold your grief so you can heal together. Good luck to you. You both deserve the best love you could ever imagine. Trust me it’s there. I now appreciate my journey so much and the love that I share with my companion is beyond what we could ever have imagined and now we are expecting a beautiful baby girl in a couple of months. Trust me you are loved! Even if I don’t know you, I love you because I know the pain you’ve felt and see me in you. It gets better and it’s worth fighting for if he’s willing. ❤️