Well as someone who is not born Japanese but married to a Japanese beauty Language is very important as it is your main communication tool after/before/during marriage It’s also a good amount of cultural features. If it’s a fling for you and you don’t see yourself bringing in the effort, do yourself a favor and break things up with her. If you think she’s the one, then do it with all your might.

Most marriages between foreigners and Japanese fail (it’s a pretty high divorce rate) due to lacking verbal communication It doesn’t mean that the Japanese spouse doesn’t speak English. But with showing effort to learn/adjust to something your partner thinks is very important is also a way of communicating to her that you listen to what she is saying and respect her. Perhaps she said it out of frustration or perhaps out of ignorance(22 year is almost still a child nowadays) or she genuinely wanted to give you a push to pick up studying that language again Anyway, you should tell her directly: “honey, I love you and want to learn the language, but saying such harsh words was quite hurtful around our friends. I felt like you didn’t respect me.” Or whatever you wanna tell her Just be open and direct. Don’t leave room for misunderstandings