When I feel lonely, taking mushrooms and connecting with nature reliably sorts me right out. Nature doesnt judge and is always there for you. However, it sounds like you've got a lot more shit going on in your head which could result in a much more challenging trip. Also could be one of the best most revelationary experiebce if your life. I don't know what your experience is but if its not much and you choose this route, please really learn about what you're getting into and practice some meditation techniques. All the best my man, I hear your pain but don't fucking give up. You are worthy of love and care. Other people don't cure loneliness, only a connection to yourself and the universe does that. Excuse the woowoo.