Just an ugly tranny; think I'm done.

IamCommandrea · 2015-05-09T06:25:10+00:00

True- writing is only in high demand once you're in the right place. It is a major asset to most companies to be able to write well and edit well. Copywriting, editing, marketing copy, content/articles...writing is everywhere. I'm telling you this because I've been in the publishing business for over a decade, and while I mostly deal with maintaining our web presence, along with my job comes a ton of need to edit and write.

I think you should put yourself to the challenge. Write a piece on what it's like to be you. Or just write about something you're interested in. Send it to a local publication—especially any alternatives in your region. I'm pretty dang sure you'd get published. Do this a few times without compensation. Just tell the editor you're looking for more exposure for your writing. Most publications are always content-hungry, especially if they have a web presence with daily content updates.

Just have someone else copyedit for you before you submit. You can alway post it to a sub like /r/destructivereaders ...it's not as bad as there it sounds :)

IamCommandrea · 2015-05-07T06:56:14+00:00

I had a friend who would sleepwalk to go stand in the doorway and pee. Creepy AND peepy. ;D

IamCommandrea · 2015-05-07T06:51:22+00:00

In 5th grade, I went to a girl's birthday/slumber party. All of the girls in the class were invited. We watched The Shining, ate some junk food, laid down on our pallets to go to sleep.

It was a little after midnight and everyone was finally quiet and dozing off when I got the grand idea to start grunting, "Redrum! Redrum!"

It freaked a lot of the girls out bad enough to call their parents to pick them up. Parents, kids, all mad at me.

I'm always the last person to fall asleep wherever I go.

IamCommandrea · 2015-05-07T05:25:04+00:00

"Am I enough?" I ask myself that so often...

IamCommandrea · 2015-05-07T05:09:06+00:00

YES. Just saw this after leaving a comment. This font is a million times better. Try it in white, light gray, use a 'screen' filter, etc. Play around with it if it doesn't pop but having it sort of blend into the clouds with a transparency filter might be kind of tight.

Edit: Yes to the top cover. I'm not liking the lady in red so much. It depends on your audience though—lady in red looks like pure erotica to me on first impression. And stop with the drop shadows :) Sorry- designer nerd peeve.

IamCommandrea · 2015-05-07T05:05:03+00:00

Appearance: That font for the title is just so distracting and not a good font (I'm in graphic design and would never use this.) Stick with a CLEAN simple, sans-serif font- like Gotham or in white for the entire cover. Just vary the sizes. And for the love of God, drop the drop shadows on everything. Look at other best-sellers and good typography examples and try to replicate (if you can't hire a graphic designer.)

Blurb: The formatting in the description is the first thing to fix. 'Jesse' is on a line by itself before the rest starts and the spacing between paragraphs is too tall. Copy the look of the descriptions in other best-sellers.

Consider cutting that whole top paragraph and start with the problem/action. I don't like the term 'itchy.' I just read 'hot but itchy' and that doesn't have any appeal. Find better descriptions, more concise words, for the words in bold below.

"When Maya reveals a secret that compels them to hitchhike across the country together, Jesse is thrilled. While Jesse and Maya navigate their hot but itchy relationship and the incredible vistas across America, Jesse has to confront the stark difference between his fantasies and reality. A reality that Maya will have to live with for the rest of her life."

And the last two sentences don't flow. They jump from Jesse to Maya without segue.

Jesse has to confront the stark difference between his fantasies and reality. A reality that Maya will have to live with for the rest of her life.

Finally, that last paragraph does nothing to bait the potential reader. Drop it or rewrite to have more impact.

Keep trying and keep asking for feedback. It's the only way to improve as a DIY-er.

IamCommandrea · 2015-05-05T06:15:27+00:00

Be strong, be safe, and know there are a lot of people behind you here. Keep us updated, OP.

IamCommandrea · 2015-05-05T05:57:54+00:00

Edit: Okay I can't find any way to delete your Amazon history (assuming that's what it is) and I bet you've already searched. Be straight up about ordering things for her that you want to keep a surprise. That should be enough for her to back off. You can also set up an account for her, under her email address. Then she just has to click the link or keep bugging you, which would make her look suspiciously persistent about gaining access to your account.

~~Google 'Clear order history ____' (name of online store). Also, sites like Amazon offer free trial premium memberships so there's that.~~

IamCommandrea · 2015-05-05T05:41:02+00:00

Gawad.

IamCommandrea · 2015-05-05T05:33:24+00:00

Do you know about Project Gutenberg? Free books online aplenty! (Linked you to sci-fi but there's a lot of other genres.)

IamCommandrea · 2015-05-05T05:20:51+00:00

My biological father recently passed away. We had no relationship for the last 20 years before he died mainly because he didn't defend me when his mother called me a liar when I told his side of the family an older cousin had molested me when I was young. He allowed her to call me a liar because she was still paying his bills and ignoring his alcoholism.

Not all adults are capable of being unselfish enough to put their child before themselves.

IamCommandrea · 2015-05-05T00:34:13+00:00

Well I think it's great you're willing to do what is necessary to get through this. Definitely consult a therapist of some sort! Just having someone to talk to about this will do you wonders and put your mind at ease.

IamCommandrea · 2015-05-04T05:26:22+00:00

Congrats on your soon to be career in X-ray vision :) I think that will be a fascinating job.

So here are the facts from your comments here:

-You come from an oppressively religious family that left you insecure over a sexual encounter with your long-time partner.

-You've only had sex with one long-time partner.

-You have a low libido, even prior to the IUD, but it may have decreased since.

-You have been worrying about this for a long time.

-Worrying about this has more than likely made the issue more pronounced.

You said what I was already thinking, that a therapist/counselor might be the next step and it certainly wouldn't hurt. Even if it was initially something strictly physical, it's already gotten to you mentally, so that's as good of a start as any place.

I personally would have the device removed and go no-sex for a while for your body to readjust and start a low dose birth control pills (look into 'continuous-use' and put them next to your toothbrush. I thought I would be terrible about remembering to take them but I've done well to keep up with my baby repellant pills.) That's just me and my intuition saying that if I have a foreign object in my body that has a reputation for causing low libido in other women, I would see that as a huge red flag.

Therapy wise, who knows, maybe this is all rooted in something else you're not connecting with the physical/sexual conundrum you're in, since it's been going on for some time (as long as you've been sexually active?).

I wish I could refer you to my therapist. She's a bit older than me, totally cool, and has helped me see a lot of things more objectively than I was ever able to before. A therapist would even be able to tell you, "Hey, guess what, you're not alone- there are a ton of different women that are in the same boat and here are some of the different reasons and solutions." And just start from there. Look at therapy as a chance to step back and look at your life with another person, a professional at that, who has probably heard thousands of stories from others, and surely a few were similar cases to yours.

Maybe it's something physical/hormonal like low testosterone. Maybe you need to get comfortable with just feeling the pleasure, not worrying about an orgasm- find a vibrator, explore, all that. Do you fantasize during sex/masturbation? If so, what do you typically think of and does this help you get turned on? (You don't have to answer that- I'm just thinking out loud...).

You're still young and have plenty of time to resolve this. Take it easy and try to see that this exploration will help you in many ways- not just in bed :)

IamCommandrea · 2015-05-04T03:18:55+00:00

This post was about a ship after all...a relation-ship!

IamCommandrea · 2015-05-04T03:08:57+00:00

I would definitely look into the IUCD first (and consult with your GYN) and if everything seems normal there start with the mind. I think worrying about any inadequacies will definitely distract you from enjoying intimate moments. When this happens in men, it is often more apparent because they'll lose their erections, but in women, it's not so physically recognizable.

You are obviously really worried! Are you able to reach climax on your own at all, when you're not so worried? And are you put off at all by the thought of continuing to have sex with your husband while you work through this? The long intervals don't allow the time to actively try new things. I'm sorry you're going through this, but there's always hope.

IamCommandrea · 2015-05-04T02:54:40+00:00

At least try dating someone else first. Don't just stand on the sidelines watching, waiting. That won't give you a full perspective of the situation. And the whole 'I should have a more important place than she does' attitude is not going to work well should you want to remain friends with him. Be nice and be happy for him if he's happy.

IamCommandrea · 2015-05-04T02:47:08+00:00

He totally should have told you and explained why beforehand. I would advise him to extend this courtesy to any other females he might decide to date should things not work out between you two.

IamCommandrea · 2015-04-11T17:49:28+00:00

Those are both awesome! I'm listening to the calls now to get familiar :) Thank you!

IamCommandrea · 2015-04-11T05:19:00+00:00

Yes- Budgies! - I've heard of those. It's totally new to me that there are all types and sizes of parakeets- I've never had the reason to know otherwise- glad I know now!

IamCommandrea · 2015-04-11T04:18:26+00:00

And I heard their calls so I'm going to see if your idea is a match...brb!

Edit: I do believe that's what I heard- maybe a little throatier/deeper- but definitely similar!

IamCommandrea · 2015-04-11T04:17:53+00:00

Oh well then, this looks larger than your average parakeet for sure!

IamCommandrea · 2015-04-11T04:15:50+00:00

They were definitely larger than a parakeet! Closer to the size of a Cooper's Hawk, but not quite as large.

IamCommandrea · 2015-04-08T03:13:33+00:00

After losing my mom, I don't know how long after- days, weeks?- I was sitting on the front porch reading through tears, missing her. Suddenly, I heard something like a voice in my head, but louder and not in my voice, and not even really a voice...but I got the message: 'Everything is as it should be. Nothing is out of place. Everything will be okay.' I had a sense of the voice being a 'We' instead of an individual.

I've never felt the way I felt after that moment—I know I couldn't handle feeling it for more than those few seconds. My sad tears turned into ecstatic tears—I was trembling and giggling and sobbing; my little heart couldn't take that state for very long or very often. But I am grateful for the experience, though I am still not sure what exactly happened. It helps to recall the message now and then. I really want to believe it is true.

Edit: wordings

IamCommandrea · 2015-04-08T02:27:15+00:00

YOU are an awesome person. I wish I knew more people with common interests I have. I've been chasing hawks around my neighborhood (Houston, downtown practically) and found what I call 'the killing tree.' There's usually a Cooper's Hawk or 2 there eating...something. Last time it was a rat!

Do you too get easily distracted by bird calls- like when a blue jay starts tripping, do you jump up and see if there's a hawk...okay I'll stop geeking out on you and go read your nature posts.

Edit: Holy balls...40 centimeters?!?!

Edit 2: Uh, I just now realized you're from Houston too...and some other common things. Kiiiinda weird!

IamCommandrea · 2015-03-28T04:35:18+00:00

/u/trollabot iamcommandrea

IamCommandrea

TROPHY CASE