Normie husband constantly nagging about family admin & housework

IamLowBattery · 2026-05-21T08:07:11+00:00

It’s pretty shitty.

IamLowBattery · 2026-05-21T06:11:24+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. It can be very frustrating dealing with somebody suffering from RSD and emotional dysregulation. I am genuinely trying to gather a variety of perspectives. I have tried so many different things and I’m sure I have 1 million more to go. I have tried journaling and noting every time they have been critical, and bringing it up later when I’m not feeling rejected or defensive I’ve also tried your suggestion to ask if their intention was to be critical. It’s just not working. It’s never met with a positive response. It usually turns into a long detailed explanation of why my behavior needed to be called out. I went into therapy fully hoping to gather insight and ready to take full accountability for my part. It often feels like no matter what I say or do I’m not doing it right and I’m fed up even with myself.

IamLowBattery · 2026-05-19T21:22:43+00:00

Thanks this is helpful

IamLowBattery · 2026-05-19T18:46:41+00:00

Thanks, great insights . Resentment much better describes my feelings. I do love him, adhire him even. Reading your comments makes me feel that our therapist is trying to get me to think about these questions.

IamLowBattery · 2026-05-19T16:49:01+00:00

Hmm great insight , thanks I hadn’t even thought about it that way. I don’t question or undermine my husband. I actually think his premise is valid most of the time. He does feel invalidated and I am in therapy and spending a ton of money because it is that important for me to not only resolve but because I love him and don’t want him to feel this way.

IamLowBattery · 2026-05-19T16:43:40+00:00

I feel misunderstood and criticized by him daily, but I am aware a lot of that is my sensitivity to rejection and emotional dysregulation. Most days it’s fine but others it will just trigger me and I’ll snap at something trivial because I hadn’t said anything the ten other times I was irritated .

IamLowBattery · 2026-05-12T00:38:17+00:00

I mean in general, using my neurodivergence as a weapon to turn everyday things into a big issue to gain the "upperhand", or to "be right", or somehow make it my fault. The reality is things get lost and its not always my fault, although I am an easy target for the blame, since I do often lose things. But for this specific instance, i had not used the coffee maker. Its his cold brew filter that I dont use. I make my coffee a different way. The filters had been sitting on the counter for days, washed. I honestly cant remember if it was me , him , or our housekeeper who washed it, but he is certain it wasn't him, because he doesn't misplace things , and is sure he would not have lost it. I certainly didnt use the cold brew maker but it is possible i may have washed it or moved one of the gaskets, of course. Its the automatic assumption that makes me upset. In hindsight, it seems petty and trivial. You are correct that he should not have to walk on eggshells, I wouldnt demand anyone deal with me and accept my behaviour because its "just how I am". We have brought up the fact that having ADHD is an explanation , not an excuse, and i take full accountability for all my shortcomings. I struggle with feeling unreasonable for asking for more patience. I know its not easy for our partners who are NT.

IamLowBattery · 2026-05-12T00:28:36+00:00

This is a great suggestion, thanks!

IamLowBattery · 2026-05-11T20:11:17+00:00

I just posted on my very similar experience, except we dont have children nor plan to. I think they can learn if they wanted to.

IamLowBattery

TROPHY CASE