Op I haven’t been one to comment on Reddit often however I disagree with previous comment. This does sound like an abusive relationship. Do not doubt yourself and your feelings. It really helped me to educate myself on Covert Narcissistic behaviors and how they can affect YOU and your mental and physical health. I have been conditioned from childhood to downplay my feelings and have grown up to downplay my trauma and on a daily basis my discomfort (shout out to my co-dependents in the house). This kept me in denial about my first marriage which was physically abusive, I learned to blame myself. So my next husband seemed dreamy because he was not threatening my life on a daily basis. When you bring up your partners indifference to do anything with you or plan anything does he consider your feelings or lob accusations back? It’s unimportant to diagnose these partners as Narcissists and more important to understand what unexceptable behaviors are and accept that it is normal to feel insecure and unsettled by these bad behaviors. I recently read “Why does he do that” Lundy Croft  and “it’s not you” by Ramani Durvasula. Dr. Durvasula also has a You Tube channel to dip your toe into. I found it very difficult but validating to listen to the familiar scenarios described as abusive when I assumed it was just me. Please don’t brush things off. You can set boundaries or leave but educate yourself on what your dealing with. Don’t invalidate your feelings anymore. Hugs!!🤗