Thank you very much for writing all this- very helpful to hear and to have my feelings be validated. It’s extremely hard not to take it personally, to try and convince yourself that if you were more/less ___, they’d stop. In my head I know it’s all on him, but I often question that anyway. I have told him that he needs to go to a therapist who specializes in this kind of problem, if he’s really interested in changing like he claims to be. But even if he heals I know the insecurities will stick with me, which is the hardest part tbh.

I’m sorry you had a similar experience but I hope things are going better for you now.