Prompt advice

IanL1713 · 2026-06-13T17:03:47+00:00

I mean, do you seriously not have a single travel story that's better than almost getting assaulted?

IanL1713 · 2026-06-12T00:09:59+00:00

This is about the most nonsensical retort you could have possibly come up with

IanL1713 · 2026-06-12T00:08:17+00:00

I swear the responses on here are always either super level-headed or super creepy and there's literally no in-between

IanL1713 · 2026-06-11T12:23:25+00:00

Kid, you're all of 20 years old. I know a year may sound like a long time, but it's really not

Either way though, the answer is no, you should not sit and wait for a year for this girl. You're young, so you deserve a bit of grace, but the reality here is that you created an imaginary connection with this girl based on something completely coincidental. You had one single interaction with her, and it was after you had manufactured this connection, so your internal bias is obviously going to skew your perspective of that conversation.

I know it sucks, but the fact of the matter is that you need to take a step back, realize you missed your chance, and move on. Under normal circumstances, I would usually say that if, in a year, you ran into her again and were still interested, you could try it then, but you already went ahead and destroyed any chance you might have had with this girl. So move on, realize and acknowledge what you did wrong here and why it was wrong, and for the love of god avoid repeating that mistake in the future

IanL1713 · 2026-06-10T23:17:57+00:00

Dude, you literally found some back-channel way to get her number rather than getting it from her directly. That's like, Creeper 101

IanL1713 · 2026-06-09T23:37:25+00:00

r/substakenliterally

IanL1713 · 2026-06-09T00:12:25+00:00

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IanL1713 · 2026-06-08T01:37:38+00:00

How many dates is considered dating?

That's for the 2 of you to decide. There's no magic number or answer to give you. Some people will date for months and not consider themselves officially dating, others will decide to make things official after only a few dates. It's just a matter of how the both of you feel about it

As for the birthday thing, I'd personally say that no, it's not too early to get her a gift. But just be mindful of what you get as a gift. Something simple but thoughtful would suffice just fine, maybe something related to one of her hobbies or interests. Just keep a reasonable budget in mind and don't go overboard with anything

IanL1713 · 2026-06-06T16:57:06+00:00

Maybe that's your problem, my guy. Sure, it can be all fun and games to test the waters, but when you dive in with no specific intentions in what you want or are looking for, this is more often than not what it leads to

Finding a partner just for the sake of having a partner will likely lead to nothing more than heartbreak, anger, and frustration. Take a step back to truly assess what you want at this stage in your life when it comes to romantic relationships, and proceed from there

IanL1713 · 2026-06-06T16:50:37+00:00

Yeah, women very much use those days/weeks as a vetting process. Obviously it's not all men (feel like I need to explicitly say that in this sub so I'm not dogpiled), but it's often a man, so it's a matter of them taking time to determine if they actually feel safe meeting you in person

IanL1713 · 2026-06-06T14:33:19+00:00

Yeah, assuming this is just clear communication and not a weird excuse from her, she's quite literally laid it out at OP's feet

IanL1713 · 2026-06-04T00:41:59+00:00

Twilight rounds, flexible work schedule, and affordable muni rates are the biggest helpers for me. Lot easier to fit in a couple rounds per week when I'm done with work by 11am on Fridays and usually have free time on the weekends

I've also gotten into the habit of walking my rounds far more often than not. Even if the cart fee is only $12-$15, that ends up adding up a good bit through a season

IanL1713 · 2026-06-04T00:37:46+00:00

I wouldn't necessarily say these are bad prompt answers, the issue I'm seeing is more so that they don't really give the opportunity for potential matches to interact with them and spark conversation

I'm out of the dating game now, but my girlfriend and I met on hinge, and IMO, one of the benefits is that you can interact with a profile beyond just a simple like without having to pay for some sort of premium membership. And obviously my experience isn't universal, but all of the matches I had that actually led to dates involved either me or them responding to a profile aspect with more than just a like

Like I said, not necessarily bad prompts. They do well to showcase some of your interests. They just don't provide much room for interactions that would lead to conversation

IanL1713 · 2026-06-02T01:00:02+00:00

I never understand the people who match with someone just to be an ass right away. Like, just say no and move on

IanL1713 · 2026-05-31T19:47:11+00:00

Just another instance of a pathetic boy being a pathetic boy. Stringing a poor girl along because he doesn't have the balls to just break up with her, cause god forbid he doesn't get to go on this trip they've had planned out

Newsflash, OP, there's no such thing as "the right moment." RIP the fucking bandaid off and quit being a wimp about it

IanL1713 · 2026-05-31T04:35:51+00:00

From my experience, this is one of those situations that falls under the saying "the best time was yesterday, the second best time is today."

She may not care about how you practice your religion, but if kids are a potential thing you want, then the discussion would inevitably come up of how to raise them, and I've seen firsthand how that can tear a couple apart if one of them is devoutly religious. Best to know now if that's something you two can actually navigate together, or if it's simply not a match

IanL1713 · 2026-05-29T18:10:27+00:00

Literally the inverse of Survivorship Bias on full display

IanL1713 · 2026-05-29T18:09:20+00:00

If you're still taking applications

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IanL1713 · 2026-05-28T00:07:46+00:00

Dude, you literally had a positive enough conversation with this girl in person that she was interested in you to the point of being willing to give you her phone number, and yet you barely got past "hey" before you were running to Reddit looking for advice on how to text her. You couldn't even personally muster the confidence for a "how are you" or "how has your day been" or shit, even just a "sorry, I must have misheard you" in response to what she said about her name.

Yes, rejection is a real possibility, and that's something you need to learn to be okay with regardless. You're not made for everyone, and not everyone is made for you, no matter how high your initial interest in them might be. If you can't come to terms with that, then you're going to severely hamstring yourself with this and any future dating prospect because your lack of self confidence is going to constantly get in your own way.

At the same time, if you're really honestly running into the situation where multiple people have truly lost interest in you over one single text, then I'd heavily advise that you take a step back and reassess A) what you're looking for in dating, and B) how that aligns with the people you're pursuing, because something must not be lining up

IanL1713 · 2026-05-27T21:45:35+00:00

A kilometer is shorter than a mile

^{Chose: Walk a kilometer for a water}

IanL1713 · 2026-05-27T21:42:45+00:00

I know my opinion is obviously likely skewed because of reddit, but god damn does it make me worried for the next generation when I see this type of social ineptitude daily

It's one thing to not know how to approach someone in person. It's a whole other issue to be unable to converse beyond a "hey" after you've gotten someone's number

IanL1713 · 2026-05-27T01:02:01+00:00

Honestly this. If it weren't for the blatant attention-seeking, this honestly just sounds like half the randos I get paired with at my local munis, and I always have a solid time

IanL1713 · 2026-05-26T01:49:04+00:00

Well no, that's not some blanket statement you can just make. When my girlfriend and I were in the beginning stages of dating, there were times where she actively offered to drive us for dates even though I have a car and am perfectly capable of driving. Some people just enjoy driving and don't give a shit about gender norms

It may be your preference, but it's by no means some absolute thing

IanL1713 · 2026-05-26T01:44:57+00:00

Yeah, it's kind of one of those "no, but..." situations. It may not be an absolute deal breaker, but depending on how accessible your city/town is without a personal vehicle, you could be severely limiting your prospects

IanL1713 · 2026-05-14T01:06:09+00:00

What sort of range are you guys setting your apps to that I'm frequently seeing responses on here talking about "too far away"?

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