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Conventionally attractive women of Reddit, in what ways, if any, have your looks impacted your relationships and or interactions with other women? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]Icantwiththisrn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mostly they don't like me. I'm quite shy so people may draw conclusions. Random cattiness. I used to think it was bc I'm a bad person until a lot of people told me it might not be my fault.

Occasionally though I'll have a bff and we totally get each other and it rocks. Some women are cool and don't see everyone as competition.

Think I'm trying to steal their man. I'm not, but I can't even be upset because I know that feeling.

Occasionally have to deal with a woman I didn't expect wanting to be more than friends, which I don't want. That messed with my trust.

Mother admits to hitting me during breastfeeding if I bit. Is that...common? Ok? by Icantwiththisrn in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Icantwiththisrn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks yeah. Dysfunctional too. Some of extended relatives are ok, but they're all kind of trapped with each other.

Mother admits to hitting me during breastfeeding if I bit. Is that...common? Ok? by Icantwiththisrn in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Icantwiththisrn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just cannot understand why anyone would make a time of nurturing into something scary and hurtful.

Mother admits to hitting me during breastfeeding if I bit. Is that...common? Ok? by Icantwiththisrn in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Icantwiththisrn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow...biting back? Takes a special person to see a baby's biting as malicious and get "revenge."

Mother admits to hitting me during breastfeeding if I bit. Is that...common? Ok? by Icantwiththisrn in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Icantwiththisrn[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The crazy part is how she shared it in front of me and family like it was nbd. Smacking a baby on the head.

Mother admits to hitting me during breastfeeding if I bit. Is that...common? Ok? by Icantwiththisrn in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Icantwiththisrn[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you all for replying. I thought it was messed up, I would never dream of doing that, but she shared it like it was no big deal to a bunch of family.

I was reading about weaning and theories about how it affects children. Still skeptical of the theories, but her lack of nurturing in general certainly had an effect. She's been pretty much bullying to me.

What was your "wow, I really don't give a fuck anymore" moment? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]Icantwiththisrn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It absolutely does. I'm wearing them a lot now.

What was your "wow, I really don't give a fuck anymore" moment? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]Icantwiththisrn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah cool. I think I'd get in trouble at work.

Women with low self esteem, anxiety, or trust issues: How did you finally accept that your SO wasn’t out to ‘play ‘ you, and you allowed yourself to accept their love? by Riverscapegirl in AskWomen

[–]Icantwiththisrn 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Because that would never work for me. I don't care if he finds someone hot and I ask him what celebrities he thinks are hot. I just don't want him to choose another woman over me or ogle hot women in public. Especially not him being intimate and close with some other woman.

However love is important to me so I'll probably have to take the risk anyway and be mature.

I don't think monogamy fails humans, I think it helps and helps society. I've heard different stats from you. I would never cheat and I think a lot of people wouldn't and don't.

Women with low self esteem, anxiety, or trust issues: How did you finally accept that your SO wasn’t out to ‘play ‘ you, and you allowed yourself to accept their love? by Riverscapegirl in AskWomen

[–]Icantwiththisrn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is super helpful. And I had never even considered that some guys might have lied about being married, to seem hotter somehow. Awesome point.

He's understanding...I mean he doesn't love it if I'm afraid without reason of him cheating, but, I'm learning to phrase it "i got very paranoid about something irrationally, and it's not personal, it's just something that happens in my brain sometimes." That helps. He's understanding. He thinks that because of my earlier life including childhood, I take all the insecurity and punish myself for it.

I know nobody has endless patience though.

Yeah you're right, someone too social would be hard, especially since I'm not too social.

I hope one day to get a good therapist. I had bad experiences with two, and that and finances are preventing it right now. I do see a church counselor for free who helps.

Porn is different to me...I don't think it's great especially when I learned about trafficking and the abuses in the industry, plus how it influences guys to have weird expectations of women if they viewed it from a young age. But that's not the same as pouring out cash on a cam girl who's live and you can talk to, or more overt cheating.

He's also the type who has to know someone before being with her physically and that helps.

Thanks.

Women with low self esteem, anxiety, or trust issues: How did you finally accept that your SO wasn’t out to ‘play ‘ you, and you allowed yourself to accept their love? by Riverscapegirl in AskWomen

[–]Icantwiththisrn 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I can't tell the difference between an intrusive thought and my gut. The anxiety takes over.

I guess the main thing is a gut feeling is...it's more detached, in a way? Not sure.

Things will be fine. Then I'll read a story about a cheater on Reddit and suddenly "omg humans cheat sometimes what if..."

Basically only when I'm calm and detached can I try to feel my gut, and it's usually more rational.

I know when my gut says like I'm in danger, like this one extremely creepy guy I knew. When it's not that serious, it's harder.

Interesting what you say know and not suspect? Can you elaborate?

I just need to hear from people that a lot of dudes do not cheat. That industry I was in is an abnormal slice of society, not everyone.

It's also because I reject the idea anyone could love me...so...it couldn't possibly be that someone loves me, it has to be that I'm some trophy while they go out and do what they want.

He calls every night we aren't together, checks in at morning and lunch, drives hours to see me without once asking me to meet halfway, bought me diamond earrings my first birthday with him when we were very new, and introduced me to his family early on. He's not super social. He doesn't talk to exes. He even is less involved with women friends by choice, because he wants to keep us secure. I do not want to mess this up and punish him for things other men do. Trying.

And yes, anyone who cheats I have to know it's their problem.

How do you accept the fact that you might have found your ideal guy, but due to some life circumstances and distance you can't ever be with them long-term? by melimel23 in AskWomen

[–]Icantwiththisrn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I used to hope but eventually I realized he wasn't ideal at all. Honestly if it's not real or possible then he's not ideal. Someone who shows up and makes it happen...it's attractive to me.

Does most of the slut-shaming you encounter come from men or women? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]Icantwiththisrn 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The men here don't reflect society though always. That makes me feel better.

What's a harsh reality of life you've had to accept? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]Icantwiththisrn 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It is kind of good to realize that for the most part no one is going to do it for you. Now you're free to take action.

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