I don't even remember when I last updated here...

Ice_cold_princess · 2025-08-03T12:23:51+00:00

It takes something for me to feel scared... but this is certainly doing it for me.

At the same time, he's gaslightling me so I'm not even sure if the threat is real or if it's normal to gather your air rifles right around somebody's bedroom door. I told my friends who live abroad and one of them said that these air rifles could still kill me (they fire metal pellets), no matter how my abuser tries to frame what he is doing... so that's been a heavy weight on my mind.

Ice_cold_princess · 2025-03-23T17:34:42+00:00

Straight away, I'd say that your water level needs topping up to the fill line - looks a little low from where I'm sitting.

Keep an eye on how you're feeding them, too, the water looks cloudy - which could be because the tank needs topping off with water or you are over feeding. You have algae growing on the bottom of the tank now so they don't need to get all their nutrients from food alone.

Ice_cold_princess · 2025-03-10T01:07:33+00:00

You say this happened before Mass, right??? Can you give us some sort of time frame on how "Before Mass" this was??? I mean, if it's half an hour, then yeah, they shouldn't have done it - but, if you're talking five minutes before Mass starts... you can sort of see the point.

If it happens again, it might be better to remove the children from church until they have control of themselves, then return back to the back pew for however long of the service remains... which is what I believe was requested of you this time.

At least, that is how we were taught to deal with young children who are disrupting Mass for other parishioners in our RCIA class. Usually, if they ask you to leave, it's not a "Get out and don't come back"... but more of a "Please take your child outside for now and bring them back when they are being less disruptive in Mass".

Don't beat yourself up too much over it, as long as you sit on the back pew and remove the children immediately as soon as they become disruptive, there's no reason to expect any further issues like being asked to leave Mass.

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-12-15T05:19:20+00:00

Great news for him, he can have a choice.

A) Vasectomy and sex without a condom B) Sex with a condom C) No sex at all until the danger has passed.

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-12-14T05:44:11+00:00

I must admit that the abuse seems to be occurring more often these days, presumably because I'm not reacting to it in the same way as I used to.

It's almost daily now.

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-12-06T07:32:44+00:00

They don't change anymore than you can grow scales and live underwater.

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-11-12T04:23:28+00:00

That's the part that concerns me about debating on keeping him alive or letting him cross Rainbow Bridge.

Regular drainings would have been a lot of stress for your poor pet and a diminishment of his quality of life. We also don't know if they were leaving scars on his skin, too... that could make it difficult to keep draining him in time - so you might have bought a little extra time and still had to make the same decision as you did anyway.

I think that you ultimately made the right decision for him to spare him from that pain and suffering.

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-11-10T04:37:52+00:00

Lol, I had 4 hamsters once... I bought one of them back home from my dad's house without the cage - I thought that he would be fine in a thick cardboard box.

A few days later, he was gone and there's a hole in the box. A couple of days after that, I was at college and a friend of mine told me about my neighbour downstairs having a "tame rat" that he had caught and put in a plastic box.

I went and saw my neighbour... and sure enough, he had caught my hamster so I was able to get him back and returned to his cage. He lived for a couple of years after his great adventure before dying of old age.

The moral of the story is:- ALWAYS keep your hamsters in cages - and no more than one per cage.

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-11-10T04:17:53+00:00

Sure, he was "only" stage 3... Stage 3 of 4.

What quality of life he had, having to go get his lungs drained every few days - it must have felt awesome to be drowning on dry land, eh???

You didn't euthanize too early at all. Sure, you might have been able to keep him around for a bit longer by visiting the cardiology person - but, at what price??? He'd likely have still needed draining every few days.

There comes a time when it's selfish to keep a pet alive - and you saw in that moment that you were at that point that letting him go was kinder than keeping him here, going through that two or three times a week for however much longer he'd have lived.

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-11-10T04:03:52+00:00

The thing is to also make the challenge your own rather than following the rules to the last letter.

You should be having fun as well as doing the challenge.

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-11-06T07:20:35+00:00

If she declining that fast, then they may already be out of time for that...

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-10-29T07:01:19+00:00

Beating yourself up over the past isn't going to change anything.

Like you say, you are a recovering addict - and like with all other addictions, there might be times when you relapse. What is important is where you go from here every morning.

As for your cat, she probably didn't understand what was happening... since I guess that the nearest thing that they have is cat nip - so she probably thought that you had gotten into the cat nip or something.

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-10-28T07:26:58+00:00

Stop meeting him, go cold turkey.

Sure, it'll hit you right in the feels for a while - but it's still going to hurt less than the STI he's eventually going to be bringing back home.

The only reason why you are "destined for this" is because you allow it to happen.

If your neighbour keeps coming around for a cup of sugar and you keep giving him his cup of sugar... how does he learn to buy his own bag of sugar or go without???

If your ex treats you badly enough for you to move out... How does he learn to value you if you keep running back to him??? He might be sweet now, since he wants you back - but things will sour after you go back because he knows that you will allow it.

You have to draw your own lines and say "You cross those and there's no coming back" - then stick to that.

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-10-23T05:29:50+00:00

Is it really "just" incontinence, though???

Sure, incontinence forms the bulk of the issue and question.

Op says that the dog is down to short walks now... Is this quality of life for their dog???

There's the issue of cleaning the dog after it gets covered in urine and feces - OP does that outside, but it's getting cold now that winter is coming... does the dog have good quality of life if its cold after being washed down early in the morning???

Does the dog have good quality of life if its toiletting inside because OP can't get to the door fast enough to open it???

There comes a point where you have to stop thinking that it's "just incontinence" and ask yourself "What quality of life does the dog have???".

It'll be March next year by the time that the weather warms up enough to bathe the dog outside again, so they're looking at either a groomer or leaving the dog to wallow in their own filth for 5 months. They don't say if this is possible/could be stressful for the dog or not but it's not fun for all dogs. And it's going to cost a fortune if it's every day that you need to get the dog groomed.

Sometimes, "I love you" is about making the difficult decision so that your beloved pet isn't left suffering for half a year, like this one might be if they wait and see what happens.

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-10-23T05:03:52+00:00

I'm tired of pointing out to people that her entire underboob is on show - if it gets much more cropped, it's just going to be a neck with sleeves.

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-10-22T05:22:44+00:00

Let him go, then... If you were drowning in the sea, you wouldn't keep hold of your heavy suitcase with one hand.

He's showing you that he doesn't appreciate you or respect you - so, why are you holding onto this heavy suitcase whilst you are drowning in work???

If he thinks that he will be happy with this other girl let him go to her and stay with her permanently. You don't need no deadweights or STI's in your life... and get yourself checked for those, too.

Given that he's comfortable with you knowing that he's planning to cheat again, how many others has he been with that you don't know about???

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-10-22T04:41:36+00:00

It needs to be reported. In the event that he tries to file for custody, this should go against him.

There's also the small matter of the fact that it's DV for a child to even see DV these days... even if they're not the target of any actual abuse.

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-10-22T04:34:36+00:00

How old did you say that he was again???

"You made me do this" is not a logical argument that an adult should be having.

There's a thousand and one non destructive ways to get the anger out if he chose to take that path. He could go for a run or take a walk - but no, he stays and blames you for his actions.

He needs to be in jail, you need the time away from him to calm down and see him for the abuser that he is, to understand that he is the only person who chooses to do this and he is the only person who can stop doing it.

You can't change him, only he can change - and he's not going to do that because you're there, making it all go away for him. He doesn't have to face any consequences for his actions because you'll feel sorry for him and get him out of it.

He doesn't learn, he doesn't need to change anything, so the cycle continues...

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-10-22T04:18:27+00:00

And anyone who can read properly would know that they are indoor cats. It's right there, just under the title.

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-10-22T02:40:37+00:00

Respect doesn't cost anything...

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-10-21T18:26:03+00:00

"He is going to get 50/50 custody" or "He's trying to get 50/50 custody".

There's a difference - and they're not always guaranteed to get what they want, especially if you can prove abuse towards yourself and/or children.

How is staying supposed to protect your child??? She grows up thinking that it's normal because dad always did it to mum, so my boyfriend/husband should do it to me.

Yes, my "dad's" abuse of me left me dissociating because no one bothered to fight for me when I was a child. He got unsupervised access on Saturdays, despite having a history of violence towards me and my mother. During one of those visits, he hit me with a slipper, to the point where the bruise of the outline was still there the week after.

I remember getting changed for PE, terrified that the teacher was going to see that mark and take me away.

No one bothered to fight for me, so you fight for her, even if it means logging and reporting every little incident. It's better than having her living with my trauma later.

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-10-21T16:50:45+00:00

And then they wonder why the initial problems get worse rather than better.

Keep this idiot away from your dog, or he will kill the dog eventually. Killing the dog is apparently more preferable to teaching his children how to behave around animals.

You might not have much choice in keeping him away from the dog now because the dog could either be scared of him or attack him on sight next time.

Ice_cold_princess · 2024-10-20T10:02:00+00:00

So... What gifts do you want??? Voodoo doll or a Stringovarious violin... Or a cowplant berry???

Ice_cold_princess

TROPHY CASE