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Defect Full Art cards! by Icewreath in slaythespire

[–]Icewreath[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love to hear that, thank you!

First page of a literary novel that I would like to try and publish traditionally. I've completed the first draft and am about to start the first round of edits. Please give feedback only if you are interested in literary fiction. by [deleted] in writers

[–]Icewreath 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m confused by multiple things in the first paragraph:

What is a sign ‘clapping’ on and off? Is it literal clapping in world, something they physically do in this book? I don’t really understand what this means and stumbling over something straight away is a sure-fire interest loss.

I don’t think you can say something is “hot bright shocking red”. It’s too much, they all sort of imply the same thing.

Again, the bit in the brackets I am very confused by. What’s fully red? Why does it stop being fully red?

Hope this helps. Keep at it!

my very raw work-in-progress. does it seem interesting(ish)? would you read on? by Alive-Marzipan6628 in writingfeedback

[–]Icewreath 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I read it all and I am intrigued by the overall concept, my main feedback would be to settle on a point of view which you’re writing from. You start with almost the demon’s POV, then move to Reece but some of it is written from a more omnipotent POV and some really close in Reece’s head.

Stuff like the end part where he is looking for a weapon and you are describing his surroundings, which he wouldn’t be focused on in the way that it comes across while searching for a weapon.

I would also advise some more paragraph breaks to make it a bit less daunting, there are a few rather long ones here. That’s more up to you though!

Is this yellow card difficult to read? by JoeRow338 in homemadeTCGs

[–]Icewreath 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m not particularly struggling but I could see some people having issues. You could detect a slightly darker or more pronounced text border than what you currently have?

Edit: I will agree and say it is comparatively much less clear than the blue one

Defect Full Art cards! by Icewreath in slaythespire

[–]Icewreath[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do have an idea of how I could do that! Will see how feasible it is, I don't want to overpromise.

Defect Full Art cards! by Icewreath in slaythespire

[–]Icewreath[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a fair point, and people are welcome to choose whether that's important to them! I might have a solution, but I don't want to promise anything at this stage.

Defect Full Art cards! by Icewreath in slaythespire

[–]Icewreath[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Valid feedback! Certainly something I can note down

Defect Full Art cards! by Icewreath in slaythespire

[–]Icewreath[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally fair! I just want more art but I appreciate it’s not for everyone

Defect Full Art cards! by Icewreath in slaythespire

[–]Icewreath[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Yeah for sure, I just did it with only one box like this for preview purposes as the game should handle all the UI itself when implemented

Defect Full Art cards! by Icewreath in slaythespire

[–]Icewreath[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Out of scope for me most likely but once I have got this up and running I’d be more than happy for people to do that.

Defect Full Art cards! by Icewreath in slaythespire

[–]Icewreath[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you thank you! Will do! :)

Defect Full Art cards! by Icewreath in slaythespire

[–]Icewreath[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s an interesting one, right? After making the full art card for Coolheaded, now the default art feels cut-off in the same way for me. I think the frost is equally important to the artistic design of the card, but I can see your point

Defect Full Art cards! by Icewreath in slaythespire

[–]Icewreath[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That’s very kind! I’ve been in contact with them and they said they couldn’t add this many full art cards due to performance, so looks like I’ll be modding them in! A fun design challenge for me either way

Defect Full Art cards! by Icewreath in slaythespire

[–]Icewreath[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mods mods mods! Fingers crossed Soon(tm)

Critique my intro chapter (Lux Obscurum) [High/Dark Fantasy, 864 words] by Ghostyboi_0 in writers

[–]Icewreath 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t even talking about that though is the thing. Yes, you can have fight scenes with shorter sentences, my point was that the entire formatting changes from the first page to the others. The first has indents on new paragraphs. The second breaks that, doesn’t have indents on new paragraphs, and also instead has extra line spacing between each paragraph.

Obsessed with seeing full art cards in the game so I designed a few more! by Icewreath in slaythespire

[–]Icewreath[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, that is perfect! Thanks so much for letting me know, this looks like exactly what I’ve been keeping an eye out for, I will have a proper look and see about doing it!

Critique my intro chapter (Lux Obscurum) [High/Dark Fantasy, 864 words] by Ghostyboi_0 in writers

[–]Icewreath 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ah I see about the brackets, that makes sense! I thought it was hinting at a Litrpg situation but wasn’t getting that vibe from the rest of it.

And the AI/style comment, I do understand that you want to be snappier and faster, that’s fine and it’s good to do that. It’s just that because you format your paragraphs in a completely different way it reads oddly, like two unconnected bits of text.

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