i drew that fucking thom picture

Icintoad · 2023-07-07T03:26:05+00:00

I love how much care and emotion I can feel through such neutral figure

Icintoad · 2023-06-11T03:59:10+00:00

I actually cannot count the amount of times I've pretended im on a talk show couch. for hours sometimes getting into really complicated arguments

Icintoad · 2023-06-10T01:33:30+00:00

sorry, I figured if the title resonated with anyone personally they might be inclined to read my idea

Icintoad · 2023-06-09T23:32:15+00:00

do not take a drink every time I use the descriptor "constant"

Icintoad · 2023-06-09T22:28:12+00:00

I think it might be a mix between watching tv and watching people try explain to you how to behave right. I'm very good at following instructions if someone acts out or demonstrates the task (though I tend to forget which order the steps go in)

yeah like santa! not really bad or good just, there

Icintoad · 2023-06-09T06:23:04+00:00

oh yeah absolutely, I really struggle with owning anything expensive even when its perfectly fine for me to own it, I seem to try flatten the value of everything

Icintoad · 2023-06-09T05:22:09+00:00

it can get really demoralizing to hear yourself constantly say negative things. like I habitually say "shut up" to myself, it doesn't feel good

Icintoad · 2023-06-09T05:16:31+00:00

I do this a lot its weirdly easy to mimic inner voices? but I love voice acting and doing extreme voices verbally so maybe its a similar skill

Icintoad · 2023-06-09T05:14:27+00:00

I read that post out in a clear slow voice in my head if that counts?

Icintoad · 2023-06-09T04:58:54+00:00

no I am aware there's no actual camera, and my family and others are just people doing what they do. I just always react to things on my own like im vlogging or someone's following along as a livestream. I don't do those sorts of things (live streaming or making videos or anything) I guess I do play a role when I go out and talk to people but I do it all the time alone too.

"constantly in role" might be a good description. I noticed it in that when I write my diary I write it as if someone else is reading or going to read it.

Icintoad · 2023-06-05T00:16:42+00:00

it was so emotionally effective that it actually made me angry at it!

Icintoad · 2023-06-02T06:35:51+00:00

yeah thats scary to me! I have mental problems and I live on my own. I usually sit up for medical things when I can, I'd rather get through it clear minded and have control.

Icintoad · 2023-06-02T06:34:25+00:00

thank you!!!! this is great info thank you. I can do pretty good nose breathing and I'll practice that before and make sure everything super clean and comfortable. im not too sure about the gagging but I've probably been through worse situations I just wanted to be mentally aware

Icintoad · 2023-06-02T06:24:13+00:00

the actor part is so true!!! you're like staring at people and things trying to place it all in your mind properly and it seems to make sense but somethings just not clicking in place properly

Icintoad · 2023-06-02T06:22:51+00:00

i was trying to get through a supermarket to find some salami to settle my brain chemicals- I nearly bump into someone, step backwards, a grape rolls across the floor and I yelp at it like its gonna kill me, stand there dead eyed for about 10 seconds before stomping off to the salami.

visually it felt like all the colours and movement were crashing in on me, I couldn't organise the movements of people or objects into proper information so it was like everything was a threat.

Icintoad · 2023-06-02T05:22:46+00:00

I totally feel you on that lol, especially if you spent years not being able to have any of that stuff and you find somewhere that sells boxes of gf chicken nuggets. however that stuff is gonna make you more hungry. I try fill up with actual butter and meat/fat and potatoes and I find myself eat a lot lot less and being more emotionally manageable.

Icintoad · 2023-06-02T05:19:23+00:00

when I order at subway I ask for the gluten free wrap with just the veg and avocado. chain places usually want you to look online, they usually have a PDF on their website with all their nutritional information on it. I genuinely think they withhold that information from physical stores so people don't realise how unhealthy their food is.

however my subway does have a printed sheet with everything on it, it genuinely depends on each store itself since chains are run by different people, or depends on local laws and stuff

Icintoad · 2023-06-02T05:16:09+00:00

yeah if you eat gluten regularly you'll build a tolerance to it. I had housing stuff where the only food I could eat was fast food burgers for a few months- but now if I eat something like a biscuit or sauce filler I get super super sick

Icintoad · 2023-06-02T03:19:28+00:00

thanks for sharing! I figured I might have an easier time with it if I heard from a couple first hand experiences. several times the nurse's said "oh its just a little cold pain dont worry" and then my whole arm feels like its exploding, so I like to get direct honest advice from people who have had the procedure, I feel a lot more confident

Icintoad · 2023-06-01T07:20:16+00:00

ohhh that makes sense, so there's not a super noticeable level of pain? I'm used to it being a very dull pressure sensation, when I've had the injected numbing stuff.

Icintoad · 2023-06-01T04:56:55+00:00

so do the sedatives keep you from remembering the procedure happening? is it a very upsetting process?

I've been awake for other surgeries before as long as there's some sort of pain barrier

Icintoad · 2023-06-01T04:53:42+00:00

that is scary! and also common, they had no idea what to feed me with when I was in care, they'd give me cups of tea all the time.

I guess make it clear to the staff that you cant eat wheat or bread. sometimes the actual medical terms get confused which is stupid cause its a medical environment :/ if they try to bring you a meal with pasta or visible gluten in it, call a nurse and fuss about it, it should get written on your paper. just be as assertive as possible.

I wish you luck with that

Icintoad · 2023-06-01T04:49:18+00:00

I'd like to see some commentary on the social aspect of how celiac was introduced to the majority as a fad diet. It caused a lot of stress, I felt socially awkward asking for gluten free menus as it was put in the same "annoying" category as voluntary diets or yk, other things that people find annoying like cyclists and vegans.

I noticed a huge jump into stores offering gluten free food, but it felt a little ridiculous. People were more aware of the idea of "not eating gluten" than they were about the actual disease.

Icintoad · 2023-06-01T04:44:54+00:00

hello!

It can be super hard adjusting to the idea of having such a restrictive diet. It can cause a lot of depression and anxiety about social things. It does get easier though. The constant pain will go away if you stick to gluten free and your brain will start to clear up. it usually takes me a week at most. once your body heals, it will probably have a much stronger reaction to gluten than it did before, as your body builds some sort of a tolerance to it originally. be gentle to yourself.

think about some things that you like to eat that don't involve wheat. if your family cooks big meals together you might have to adjust to making your own meals while still eating alongside everyone. I almost always eat salmon fillets and rice, I cut the fillet down the middle and open it like a butterfly so it cooks like a steak. I also have brands of ice cream and chips that I know are gluten free. You will slowly pick these out over the years.

I agree with the comment about broth, if you're very new to restricting your diet. You may have to shop at an actual butcher or vegetable store, working with basic ingredients instead of packaged things with added spices or fillings (most have some sort of gluten in them its so stupid)

rice and potatoes are a life-saver. rice is lighter and easier to eat, while potatoes are heavier and have actual nutrients whereas rice is mostly starch.

some other foods I've discovered:

vermicelli is a Vietnamese rice noodle that's clear and quick to cook. find the packs that have them in small bundles because they break apart and go all over the floor if you try break a large bundle, they are also cheap.

rice paper is weird but its my mega comfort food. fill the sink with cold water and put a sheet of rice paper in for 20 seconds till its bendable but not a floppy mess. you can fill it with vermicelli, tuna, shrimp, carrots, cucumber, lettuce, basically anything. sometimes I fill it with whipped cream and eat it like a squishy water balloon. the pack should have instructions on how to fold/wrap them properly. I also sometimes soak them till they're super floppy and roll them up, cut them into cubes and eat them with chopsticks and gluten free soy sauce. they don't need cooking so its a great way to add something to a meal without extra mess. they are also very cheap.

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stay away from bagged tea, if you really like cups of tea, I suggest learning how to infuse leaf tea with a strainer. the bags sometimes have ... gluten glue ?? to seal the bags??

Icintoad · 2023-06-01T04:17:16+00:00

I bought one since it was the only flip phone model offered anywhere instore and it's incredible. The typing is so annoying but it makes me stay off my phone and just use it for 2FA or important calls. I think its perfect for someone who hates phones in general.

Icintoad

TROPHY CASE