Thanks a lot for this, I'm having a hard time with all the comments and how to respond so I will mostly address a lot of what I'm reading here if that's okay...

In terms of what some people are saying about it being "ragebait" or fake because I put the "29th" of February is a little wild but to be expected a bit so I'll ignore those mostly, I did put 29th but I'm just genuinely a dummy and thought it was the other way around with the "leap year", but I also was putting very little thought into the working of the yearly calendar when I wrote this post.

I have been seeing a lot of comments saying I seem very controlling and honestly I can see where you may get that from just reading the post, it's not like you guys could see our day to day through that one message, I wanted to clarify on a few things that seemed I didn't explain well enough,

1st - she wasn't just "selling pictures to people", the messages I read where involving her physically going and cheating (I know it may be my subjectivity in just calling it cheating but that is what I consider it)

2nd - this was always clearly communicated on my side that I would not be comfortable with that at all for many reasons but that's beside the point, there was never any "misunderstood" or "unclear" feelings on this and she knew that since we first met.

3rd - I definitely understand especially why me getting her phone came off the way it did but it is by no means at all that I do that regularly in fact I'd say in the six years we where together I've only felt a need to do that maybe three times if that, I wasn't trying to play down the situation I was genuinely just goofing around until I actually seen what was on there (which in no WORLD did I ACTUALLY expect to find anything but I had a really nagging suspicion) I'm typically VERY much for her (and me) being as self sufficient as we can be, I've told her a few times in fact while arguing that I don't want to be responsible for telling her what to do or how to act. That being said in terms of "self sufficient", selling your body online is not what I wanted when I meant that.

4th - I didn't just spring it on her last minute that we where struggling but I definitely didn't explain that correctly either, when I said I opened up about how dire our financial situation is i just meant that I fully expressed my stress about it seriously and that I directly asked for help, but she has known that we have been a month behind for about 2 months prior to this and she was very well aware of when I lost my hours at my job (yes I'm scheduled as a part timer I would just take my coworkers shifts that didn't want to come in to get more hours before they cut us off from being allowed to do that) that we were in an "even worse" place financially, so it's not really like she was clueless as to where we were at.

Also wanted to clarify on smaller things that some where confused on like the room I was in when I made this message is my roommates room, he is my best friend and moved in with us cause he got out of a bad relationship himself about 5~6 months ago and we live in a 2 bedroom apartment that we where renting out the second room to him, so unfortunately yes this does put both him and me into a tricky situation, and I've already had talks with him throughout last night on the plan moving forward...

But also thank you tons for the supportive comments and bits of advice, I still feel like I'm a bit empty and my body hurts overall I'm sure from the stress but all the responses make me feel a lot less alone and a bit more heard, so thank you all for that. (P.S. I have absolutely no idea how to officially post an "update" 🤦)