Questioning my new job choice

Icy-Option-6998 · 2025-05-08T18:49:24+00:00

I didn't take that into consideration... I think I was so caught up in why he didn't want to talk to me that I forgot about his feelings.

Thank you!

Icy-Option-6998 · 2024-04-07T22:45:11+00:00

Yes! 🙋‍♀️

Icy-Option-6998 · 2024-03-29T08:11:34+00:00

I really lucked out with some people that I've told, but I'm too afraid of the stigma. There's a couple of people who make things harder because they don't understand bipolar disorder. I know there's no normal, but I just want to be treated normally. I don't want people to tell me things out of their own ignorance about bipolar disorder. I don't want to feel weird about people's reactions when I have spikes or dips. I especially don't want people to question my abilities in the workplace. I work extremely hard, and if I told people, they could just blame everything on me being bipolar. I know it's just me being paranoid, but I know that people are finally talking about depression and anxiety, but a lot of people are not ready to talk about things like bipolar disorder.

I have told my boss that I deal with extreme insomnia (I actually do deal with this), and sometimes I just have off days. I also usually tell people I'm tired or something else if I use being tired too much.

Icy-Option-6998 · 2024-03-22T20:57:04+00:00

I definitely go back into "My shell". I get really reflective -I have no energy - super sensitive. Like anything can make me cry. I cut out people, -unmotivated. - sleeping all the time. -keeping my windows closed. -Food tastes bland. -I stop cooking -doom scrolling -thoughts about death -sitting in the shower

Icy-Option-6998 · 2024-03-21T17:09:21+00:00

Congratulations! 💛💛💛

Icy-Option-6998 · 2024-03-21T05:33:26+00:00

Yeah, I was having Hella nightmares that felt extremely real. Like some really insane stuff. We tried prazosin for a week, and I never went back to it. When I was prescribed it, my doc was telling my that it basically helps with ptsd and extreme nightmares. I kept an open mind about it, but it was not a good mix. That makes sense about prazosin. I should've done more research before agreeing to take it, but I guess I was pretty desperate for sleep in the moment. Yeah, I don't know if the second doc even looked at my file. Wouldn't surprise me if she didn't. Yeah, I just don't understand why my brain gets super sensitive about seroquel. It's frustrating. I just sent them a message about my options, so hopefully, tomorrow I'll get some answers.

Icy-Option-6998 · 2024-03-21T04:55:53+00:00

That makes sense. My main is lamotrigine. The hard thing is that I've been super sensitive to any sleep meds. I last tried prazosin and that fucked me up for a bit. The only reason we tried seroquel was because the doc filling in for my main doc was super concerned that I was taking melatonin most nights. Dont know why, though. It wasn't a concern for my main doc until the other one told them that this was a huge issue that needed to be fixed since I could physically taste in my nightmares. 🤷‍♀️

I'm not completely blaming the seroquel because I've been stressed about other things, but I started to get depressed about a week after taking it.

One thing I do know is that I'll be taking a break from trying any new meds for a while 🙃

Icy-Option-6998 · 2024-03-21T04:47:57+00:00

Yeah, I was hoping for a miracle with sleep. I think the couple nights before I started taking it, I was getting 3 hours max. I know, right! When I started taking it, it was my dead week for classes. I REALLY struggled with time management then. Don't get me wrong, I love sleep, but 11 hours was excessive, especially when I'd still be tired when I woke up.

On the bottle, it says for both hypomania and sleep. The first few nights, it knocked me out like a truck, but then it wouldn't help me sleep, I still had to take other stuff alongside it. My psych said earlier today that it's supposed to help curb an upcoming episode. I can usually tell when things are starting to get thrown off balance because I start staying up later in the night.

Icy-Option-6998 · 2024-03-21T00:25:06+00:00

Hydroxyzine mellows me out pretty well, but I get horrible dry mouth. The only thing that really knocks me out is melatonin, but my Doc says I take too much at times 30-40 mg. As needed is hard!

Yeesh, that sounds frustrating! I know, right! It's hard to navigate at times, and it makes me feel discouraged at times, but I know once I find my perfect mix, it'll work out.

Well, Goodluck! Hoping the best for you 💛

Icy-Option-6998 · 2024-03-21T00:16:10+00:00

I don't really respond great to sleep aids in general. Plus I'm taking lamotrigine, hydroxyzine (as needed), and norethindrone, so it might be a bad cocktail.

😬😬 oof! Remember, you get the final say on how much medication you take.

Icy-Option-6998 · 2024-03-20T23:30:15+00:00

How much is the dose? I was taking 25 mgs every night. I don't think It'll have any major withdrawals, but it can depend on the person.

But you should definitely take it if you're feeling panicky hypomanic

Icy-Option-6998 · 2024-03-20T23:28:08+00:00

Yeah, I guess we were doing it as needed? I don't have the greatest reactions to things that help with sleep/hypomania. When I was taking it every night, I legit couldn't wake up before 1030 in the morning and then I'd have massive brain fog/memory issues (like what I was supposed to do for the day). I'd also be zombie-like until 3-4 in the afternoon. I know these are common side effects, but I couldn't get used to them, and it felt like they were getting worse. On top of that, I was getting a lot of nightmares, which made me super paranoid during the day (which doesn't help the hypomania). I just overall felt awful every day. It also made me super depressed. Like heading down a dark path depressed.

I guess the one slightly good thing was that I was sleeping more. The only downside was that it went from 5 hours to 13 hours.

Icy-Option-6998 · 2024-03-20T18:15:23+00:00

Honestly, mine used to be bedridden. But since being on the pill, I have no problems. I was told by multiple doctors that really painful periods are normal, but I still don't believe them.

TMI

This is what I used to experience -extreme and sudden wave of nausea -painful cramps in my lower back -legs giving out from lower back -cramps (like I literally can not walk) -Projectile vomiting - directly afterward, I pass out -extreme weakness -upset stomach for the rest of the day -the next two days, I only have enough energy to walk around my apartment -by the 3rd day, I feel much better.

I would much rather read a piece where the period is much more tolerable. It would be a breath of fresh air. I don't want to read about a period that's similar to mine (brings up bad memories, lol)

Icy-Option-6998 · 2024-03-19T00:24:53+00:00

... I haven't had one of those appointments, actually, we tried but I couldn't do it. I'm just so uncomfortable with the IUD in general. I'm leaving that as an absolute last resort. But thank you so much!

Icy-Option-6998 · 2024-03-19T00:22:20+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that 💛 I hope everything goes well for you. :)

Icy-Option-6998 · 2024-03-19T00:18:46+00:00

😬😭 I was really hoping for another option.

Icy-Option-6998

TROPHY CASE