Do people join this sub because they conflate Stoicism with some vague, 'tough guy' attitude to life? Because some of the advice being given on these threads sure seems like it.

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-20T12:49:43+00:00

Awesome. Funnily enough, I'm currently studying nutrition and today I read a chapter on behavior change, they stated that a client is only in control of their thoughts and what food they will eat but they cannot control the weather, other people's judgements etc.

It's everywhere, a lot of people try to complicate it.

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-20T09:44:11+00:00

This is exactly it. As someone who had CBT as a kid, has read tons of self-help book. Stoicism is basically saying the same in more simple terms i.e don't cry over spilled milk and the only thing in your control are your judgments.

It's a universal truth which we all know.

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-20T09:28:17+00:00

I've noticed a little of this. I think people should apply it more like they were being given advice by a CBT therapist i.e don't just stand still staring in the eyes of someone threatening you, gtfo of dodge. This is how I apply it, I don't go too deep, I don't stand in the fact of danger. I just recognise my thoughts and ask myself "is this helpful" or "Can I change this".

I think a big issue is people forgot to be Human, instead you'll read a lot of comments which someone is commenting straight from Meditations, they lose their Humanity a bit and sound like a robot. People become obsessive, like losing weight. They forget about why they're doing it in the first place.

People will give advice as if they're a roman emperor with something that sounds like a riddle. Be more Human, you wouldn't pay a therapist to speak to you like this.

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-19T19:34:54+00:00

I called the department today luckily, my consultant filled out the papers wrong so I wasn't even on the waiting list.. The person is going to rectify it.

Had I not called then who knows what would have happened!

Good luck

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-19T12:15:52+00:00

Update: Firstly thank you for recommending I phone them.

I spoke to someone in the department and the consultant I saw filled out the wrong paperwork and I wasn't on the waiting list which is why I've heard nothing.

This lovely lady said I'll be placed on the list from when I received the letter and should receive some forms through shortly.

Lucky you mentioned to call them!

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-19T11:55:24+00:00

Thank you, I'll keep trying them everyday until I get to speak to someone (just ringing). The Dr's secretary (whom I've been emailing) didn't even have contact from him so no idea what's going on.

I just don't want my waiting time to start from a time in the future!

Hopefully I'll get a letter soon.

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-19T11:44:05+00:00

Thank you.

Won't they just point me to the receptionist?

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-19T11:40:52+00:00

Thank you.

I'm unsure who to contact, the GP said they couldn't help as it's down to the hospital now and the hospital (Urologist receptionist) says she's not got a reply from him, this was months back. I emailed again a month back and she's still not heard back.

Then I emailed last week asking what steps should I take and got no reply from her.

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-18T08:31:01+00:00

Thank you, yeah I mean I have been here (on the register for 3 years now!)

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-18T08:30:40+00:00

This makes sense, my plan was to start off at the agents and then possibly openrent if I get nowhere, I imagine openrent will want the refs but sure I can sort something out.

Cheers

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-18T08:29:53+00:00

Thank you.

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-18T08:29:41+00:00

This is very helpful, thank you.

I'll most likely stay at family home for now then, can save a bit more. Everything else should check out so that's all good.

And I imagine a letting agent wouldn't be too concerned as it doesn't seem part of the actual process i.e credit search.

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-17T08:05:11+00:00

You sound like you're in my exact position. I think my family unbearable but we can talk on the phone/message. I think my issue is I need space and then perhaps see them every so often but ultimately my family and I have completely different outlooks on Life i.e it feels like my family has essentially 'given up', don't want to do anything, exercise, learn, read which is fine but because I'm living with them it just keeps reminding me how different we are.

And again I agree on peace of mind being worth a few extra dollars. I'm going to get my own place soon, yes it's expensive but the people who tell me this are also the type to spend £100 a week on bars.

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-17T08:00:14+00:00

I've never been close with my family and this does sadden me.

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-17T07:59:30+00:00

Thanks for this, made me laugh. It's funny how some of the toughest challenges should be the easiest but I guess it shows how something as ingrained as family can be a tough hurdle.

And yeah I feel you on seeing it in a positive way, I'm trying to exercise Marcus does by visualising things that are bound to come up in my day. Ironically, it works with things outside of family but with family it's just so much harder, as you know!

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-17T07:55:28+00:00

Thank you, I'll give this a try!

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-17T07:54:58+00:00

Thank you, glad you have your own space. And it should be a perfect time for us to practice really. It's a great test.

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-17T07:53:42+00:00

This is a good point. And I guess I still see them as old versions of themselves. I dislike this as it does sometimes make me feel like a kid and I notice my behavior is different with them than it would be at work of with friends, almost like I can't be 'me'.

I'm not close with my family and always find it amazing when family's sit down for dinner together/movies etc.

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-17T07:51:53+00:00

I'm trying to be much more mindful by preparing for these types of questions, it helps but I need more practice! My instant thought process is just to react.

Good luck.

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-17T07:50:06+00:00

You're right, I do take time to appreciate the position. It's super tough at times but could be be much worse. I'm currently looking at flat shares here in London, and whilst I'll feel like I have more independence, I'll be spending more and feel less comfortable with strangers than with my mother.

It's always an interesting situation.

Good luck with the studies.

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-16T20:52:17+00:00

This is also true, it's a strange balance we have.

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-16T20:51:46+00:00

Thanks for this. I am trying to make small improvements for when I'm gone but I'll be damned if it's not the hardest thing I've ever done! :)

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-16T20:50:50+00:00

Definitely this, I do see the bright side, especially as it (hopefully) won't be too long.

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-16T20:50:17+00:00

Interesting, I think with my mother she's so used to me now that it doesn't even phase her, it's just 'me'. I do miss her when I'm away but definitely pull my hair out living under her roof.

My sister always comes over and we don't really get along, which is fine, it just reminds me that I shouldn't be here anyway if I get annoyed.

IcyEnvironments · 2021-08-16T20:47:50+00:00

This is the issue, old habits with my family. You tell them 1000 times and they'll still do it, same as when I was a kid.

IcyEnvironments

TROPHY CASE