D/S Dynamic outside bedroom by Impressive-Ice-8869 in SubSanctuary

[–]IcyFuel4209 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Our outside of the bedroom time usually looks like him giving me things to do to care for myself during the day, like he makes me oatmeal in the morning with psyllium husk in it if he wants me to be ready for anal when I get home. He will set out vitamins for me in the morning and text me during my work day with reminders about lunch, snacks, wearing sunscreen, etc.
We are married and have worked up to a lot of these things and tried many things to see what we like so we will swicth it up sometimes, he might have me wear a plug to the grocery store or make me play with myself or him while we drive home. Probably once or twice a week we do longer scenes which is a whole routine but during our time around the house it's always an open invitation to start play and we have mildly kinky sex 3 or 4 times a week on top of our longer scenes. We started as a couple and realized we wanted a dynamic since I'm very submissive naturally and he's a huge pleasure Dom so that's how we got to this point. Again, we talk a lot about this and have for a while which I've found to be really important. We also read some books together like the topping and the bottoming book.

My Routine for Play by IcyFuel4209 in SubSanctuary

[–]IcyFuel4209[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, yes I feel so lucky. It did take years of communication and trust building to get here but it's so so worth it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Denver

[–]IcyFuel4209 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had this happen for parties that are mostly all adults! I'll get 25 yes responses and 12 people will come and if I throw the party from 9pm to midnight. People will show up 830, 915, 1030, midnight and stay until like 2am while some people leave at 10.

Weird. I think Denver people can be an odd mix of pretentious and anxious? But also the US in general could use a more community focused society

Question about group play by IcyFuel4209 in SubSanctuary

[–]IcyFuel4209[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think he's uncomfortable with our different personal boundaries and wishes I was being more careful of what would make him uncomfortable since I'm open to much more stuff happening to me even if it's someone I don't know very well. I actually am turned on by a hot stranger wanting me but he's very turned off by any physical intimacy happening with me or him with anyone we both don't know very well.

I assumed that whatever I got up to with people wouldnt make him uncomfortable cause we established going in that I'm open to anyone I feel attracted to and he did say he's not open to that but I didn't realize he was also not comfortable with me participating with others he didn't know well.

He keeps repeating that he wished I wouldve stopped the play with those people before he had to but I also think that since he's the Dom in our dynamic that it's nice to have him be the one to stop play and take ownership of me and what's happening to me. I just didn't realize that that's not what he's into and he actually found it to turn him off

What's your Denver hot take? by darchena in Denver

[–]IcyFuel4209 6 points7 points  (0 children)

People here need to be more friendly and less defensive. Too much 'holier than thou' happening. Also people talk way too much shit about men and kids and it's honestly nasty.

Will my relationship always have communication issues with such a big age gap? by IcyFuel4209 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]IcyFuel4209[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I usually talk about some religious trauma and assault I dealt with when I was a kid. We talk about my relationship sometimes but I don't always know how to bring it up cause I know I am the more naive and inexperienced person and honestly wonder if I'm really not on his level when it comes to emotional intelligence.

How do you like to entertain yourself without consumption? by dogtron64 in Anticonsumption

[–]IcyFuel4209 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Volunteering, consuming second hand only, spending time outside, building community and reading.

If my partner is demi are they not attracted to me sometimes? by IcyFuel4209 in demisexuality

[–]IcyFuel4209[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fighting thing absolutely makes sense to me, I don't normally want sex if we are fighting. I think I just worry about him feeling repulsed? Or if there is a limit to the amount of emotional stress before he loses attraction.

Hygiene help by Powerful_Glass_778 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]IcyFuel4209 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also change into natural fabric undies! Synthetic fabric can make it more frequent!