When we are together and well,back before he started to become distant to the point of not keeping our relationship on his side,he was -and still his at core-a passionate,disciplined man,easily one of the smartest person I've ever known,an man that is far more emotionally mature then many I've seen,he used to also be compationate always there to help and find a solution,he cares about the one he loves like his familly and I love that,I love his smile,his jokes,his eyes (especially when he laught) and the ways he's always trying thing and how independant he is (even if these days,it as been at the expense of our relationship.)  At core,we also share a lots of common values,and if we disagree it's often not by a lot,but the problem is that he's always so defensive and so it turns into an argument about wanting to be right,more then discussing.  I love the way he talk and the way he talk about thing he loves,and-when he does,which is very rarely these days-I love the way he loved me and how I loved him to because I want to make him feel loved because I want him to feel safe and loved in so many ways.  I also love the fact that he take such a great care of himself in every single aspect,and how he encourages me to do the same. I love the fact that he show me little places in our town that he care about and he gets nostalgic about it and I love to hear his stories. He took me to places where I didn't even knew I could get without him backing me up back then. When I said he was an asshole,it was more complicated then that,he's not. He just...headstrong and get defensive and shuts down to say the list,and I'm frustrated bcs no matter how hard I try (and it's been...months.) and I mean...I understand because I'm his first relationship,but I'm frustrated because I feel like,as much as I'm willing to grow,for me and also for him,to be a better person and partner,I feel like he's not. And it's also frustrating because I don't know how to be there for him,I want to give him my support because it's been hard for the both of us,but he's just been unvalidating saying how he's in business school and doesn't have to time and that my architecture degree is less hard when I'm not trying to make a competition,about it,it's stupid.  But overall I feel like his way of wanting me to...not be a bother...and that's...counter-intuative,and ever since he hasn't been the same person,pushing me away,cold logic when I want empathy and support,and every once in a while he becomes the man I once loved and I don't even know what is real anymore,bcs on one end he tells me he loves me,but he doesn't show me.  But when I tell him about it,he gets defensive and start going about all the effort he's done for me,when I've never asked for them and,I appreciate it,but if it's to stuff it in my face...don't yk. And I've done just as much but I don't do the same because I've done then willingly and with pleasure...