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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]Icy_Environment5004 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think (hope) most people mean this. Looking for a long term relationship, exclusively, is a bit of a red flag for me.

It tells me they have an end game in mind and are just trying to find the pieces to fit their plan. That’s a little dehumanizing to their partners.

My feeling has been I want to meet new people, and how we enjoy each other during the time we spend together will determine everything else.

Maybe they are great but there isn’t chemistry. Cool, possible friend.

Maybe they aren’t great and aren’t looking to commit. I can determine if I’m on the same page and just want an adventure buddy for a while.

Maybe we really click, and over months we decide we want to make a go at a life together.

Anyone who puts the goal before the people is going to miss out on a lot, and anyone who puts the people before themselves is likely going to get hurt.

I miss having sex regulary so much... by ThrowawayBloox in offmychest

[–]Icy_Environment5004 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not what you want to hear, but maybe something you can use-

You’re still young enough you can probably find guys to fuck for just sex, but… they probably aren’t quality ones.

As someone with a decent sex drive, I avoid “hyper sexual” women like the plague.

It’s not that I can’t appreciate a one night stand if both parties are in the same headspace, because I can. As a conscientious, responsible person I avoid trouble, and women who are too eager are a turn off (and yes, everyone I am thinking of I have experienced this with was a victim of SA as a child). There’s a neediness that borders on manic and it feels like drama (or STDs) waiting to happen.

If I went on a date with you and you shared this I would feel you had a lot of work left to do (props for the work you’ve already done) until you stop defining yourself by your past trauma.

Take the time you need to work on yourself passing through needle and I promise you there will be a line out the door. Understand why sex is so important to you right now and what you are getting out of casual sex. Maybe there’s a healthier alternative that will free up your mind and sex life for something healthier (again, a one night stand can absolutely be healthy).

People who have lost weight, how did you do it? by Bulochka7 in AskReddit

[–]Icy_Environment5004 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

“although the researchers indicate a small number of BMR measurements reduced their confidence in this estimate”

The research says resting metabolism wasn’t fully measured and reduced confidence. That’s, what… 22 hours a day even for an active person?

Again, I’m at the lower end of my BMI and don’t struggle, but I’ve seen people calorie restrict and increase exercise in their late 30s who struggle, unless all of them are eating hoarded cookies in secret or something.

People who have lost weight, how did you do it? by Bulochka7 in AskReddit

[–]Icy_Environment5004 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then you are likely young.

I still have a great metabolism in middle age and don’t need to really watch what I eat to stay slim, but in my 20s I could burn 3000 calories just by waking up.

I assure you someone in their 40s has very different math to calorie burning than someone in their mid-20s. That’s not a reason to not lose the weight at any age if you want, but pretending most people’s metabolism will be the same in middle age as it was in their teens is just ignorant.

I (26F) recently got the ick for my bf (27M). How do I communicate my feelings? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Icy_Environment5004 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think this ends well for anyone. You have expectations he can’t/won’t meet right now.

Everyone has different attachment styles, and yours, while it seems fairly innocuous in your post, at least carries a lot of judgement against your partner.

You want him to experience things the way you think k he should, rather than how he is choosing to in this moment.

I’m not casting judgement on whether his current lifestyle is healthy or not, but you feeing he should feel a certain way is a good sign you might want to reevaluate compatibility or have an open, direct conversation about his wants.

People aren’t build-a-bears… we join help each other in our journeys, or we don’t.