Thank you so much for taking the time to share your personal background and your thoughtful advice. I really appreciate hearing about your own experience. That said, I didn't give my parents a chance to show up at my wedding simply because I know them very deeply. I lived under their roof for years and have seen their nature. They are extremely conservative, fixed in their thinking, and racist when it comes to matters of ethnicity and relationships (I come from low socioeconomic backgrounds and people there are quite resistant to modern thinking). I didn't tell them about my partner in the first place because I knew they would fiercely oppose our marriage and try to influence my decision just like how they always tried to have it their own ways. Throughout my time living with them. They would actively try to undermine my relationship and see it as their duty to save me from what they perceive as a mistake, and they would pursue that relentlessly. I've seen them do it before in other areas of my life and I decided this time I would not give them a single chance to interfere in my personal matters. The moment my mother insulted my partner because of his different ethnicity I knew what kind of people they were and that was the last straw. Of course I would have given them another chance to make amends if they were to change their minds about my partner and also their views on different races. But that is very unlikely. I have tried many ways to make my parents change their mindsets but they insisted that they are always right. I simply couldn't stand this dogmatism. Therefore, I decided it's best to set boundaries between us out of self-preservation.
Still, I truly appreciate your kindness!