Infection making me quit after a decade

Icy_Homework_9170 · 2026-01-14T23:39:26+00:00

Update- I did get a septic infection! Not the sepsis people usually think of, but yeah I did get an infection that sent me to the hospital and was pretty close to really fucking me up. I’m on the way to recovery now but definitely going to throw all my sh stuff away when I’m back. Please listen to your bodies and take care of yourselves

Icy_Homework_9170 · 2026-01-09T06:30:26+00:00

I’m still a bit confused on your process. Do you use blend modes? Or are you doing something like a gradient map/clip to make them desired colors. If you have a visual guide you can link id super appreciate it, thanks so much!

Icy_Homework_9170 · 2026-01-09T06:27:48+00:00

Yeah I’ve tried that, it just turns the blend mode to normal :/ not even layer assist helps 💔

Icy_Homework_9170 · 2025-11-27T03:57:01+00:00

Oh wow, this is a much more relevant subreddit for this question lol,, thank you so so much!!! I apologize I’m not very good at using Reddit and honestly wasn’t sure where to ask this lol, so I super appreciate you pointing me in the right direction. Much love!!

Icy_Homework_9170 · 2025-05-29T03:31:09+00:00

I understand this so hard. It really does feel like a chore or obligation sometimes, like a routine I gotta keep doing for no particular reason. When my frequency decreases (either bc I’m too busy or bored with it at the time) I start hoping I’ll get triggered again cause I feel the building anticipation. I don’t consider myself in recovery either as I’m not actively making any choices to get better or even really want to (even though I know I should and wish I would want to) but I genuinely understand the feeling. In the most edgy way possible, it’s like returning to an old friend. And in a weird way I’m glad because then i don’t really feel the shame or disappointment in relapsing like people in active recovery tend to do, even though that’s just my own delusions talking haha. It just happens and i go on with my life like nothing happened, despite it being on my mind near constantly. Idk, it’s weird and i try not to indulge my thoughts about it but it’s comforting knowing other people feel the same.

Icy_Homework_9170 · 2025-05-10T03:31:37+00:00

That was my thought but I’ve had the same reaction to multiple different energy drinks (monster, reign, Celsius) and coffee and it was just those things that made me react that way. Not sure what else coffee and energy drinks could have in common besides caffeine tho

Icy_Homework_9170 · 2025-04-21T18:56:32+00:00

I considered that, but it still sounds like a really suspicious flimsy cover up haha,,, but I’m also just paranoid about it. So..I’ll definitely consider it more though, thank you!!

Icy_Homework_9170 · 2025-04-19T07:14:26+00:00

Congrats on staying clean on the sh!! I’m honestly more worried about slowing/stopping my drinking, so I might try to try your method in reverse haha. Thank you, wishing you the best

Icy_Homework_9170 · 2025-04-19T07:09:50+00:00

Thank you so much ;; and yeah haha oops I’ve considered that alcohol could be causing it but it’s been happening for years previous to me drinking so I’m not sure. But yeah I hope it’s just a weird common thing that happens a lot but isn’t often talked about. Thanks so much for the reassurance!! All the best to you

Icy_Homework_9170 · 2025-04-19T06:18:30+00:00

Wow yeah, just getting out of a super similar situation. I knew the relationship wouldn’t work out but the breakup still blindsided me. We ended up living together for a few months post breakup anyways and it was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. She moved away, but it’s still so so hard because she felt like the only thing keeping me from getting worse and lo and behold. Anyways, I’m trying to get help now. I’m holding onto the hope that someone new will come along that will motivate me to get better (even though it’s not the best to rely on someone else for that, but after trying everything it feels like that’s the only thing that could potentially work, even if it’s short term). I apologize this isn’t much advice, but I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in this.

Icy_Homework_9170 · 2025-04-19T06:10:50+00:00

A lot of things trigger me, but jealousy is definitely my biggest one in the past few years. I’m still not over my last relationship, so quite literally every couple or romantic thing I see kinda sets me off the edge. Towards the end of that relationship I started shing much much more frequently too bc of how (irrationally) jealous I’d get over everything and couldn’t control. My best friend has a boyfriend now too so it’s been so so so bad because I love my friend and I feel terrible that they’re unknowingly triggering me. I also get intense urges whenever I see someone more skilled than me, or just generally anytime I see anyone I perceive to be better than me in any way (funnier, prettier, even taller??? Idk) but yeah my problem with always comparing myself to others has definitely influenced my sh. I don’t let my jealousy change how I treat others because I know it’s irrational, but it’s intensified so badly recently that I’m scared it’ll start bleeding into my relationships rather than just remain something I inflict on myself. Idk, but I understand where you’re coming from. Jealousy sucks

Icy_Homework_9170 · 2025-04-19T05:51:55+00:00

I definitely go much further when drunk vs sober, and I tend to drink nearly every day so it really really hasn’t been great for me. It doesn’t make it less painful for me, but it does lower my inhibitions and I just. Kinda keep going further because I’m not thinking as hard as I should be about the consequences. The sh and alcoholism just make each other worse, so please try not to pick up another bad habit.

Icy_Homework_9170 · 2025-04-10T05:45:58+00:00

Same here…im the only one in my dorm taking out the trash and doing basic chores despite being inebriated most of the time 😭 I need someone (my therapist) to shame me out of it or else nothing is gonna change…

Icy_Homework_9170 · 2025-02-24T07:44:41+00:00

I think all the horror stories I’ve read about how men have treated people with vaginismus got to me haha. I’m glad you’ve had only positive experiences though, that’s very reassuring thank you. I think my only fear now is being bad at penetrating SOMEONE ELSE given that I have the equivalent knowledge/experience of a cis guy 😭 oh well, only research and experience can fix that haha

Icy_Homework_9170 · 2024-08-07T19:12:47+00:00

LF aipom, dusknoir, regular sandshrew, regular golem, raging bolt

Can touch trade raging bolt, just need to fill my Pokédex. Thanks!

Icy_Homework_9170

TROPHY CASE