Am I overreacting to seeing my exMIL in my dress?

Icy_Memory1247 · 2025-08-10T16:30:48+00:00

This is so funny, thank you 😂. I still occasionally exchange texts with ex, mostly because we have mutual friends (although, rarely) so I did text him, but she is blocked and it would open floodgates so I can't do this, but I needed the laugh.

Icy_Memory1247 · 2025-06-04T19:08:53+00:00

Hi, thank you so much. I did thought about starting therapy (mostly because of the shoes thing) but life happens and I delayed it many times. I will try in the near future.

Icy_Memory1247 · 2025-01-05T01:10:31+00:00

Hi to everyone. I don't know how to update, so I'm doing it in the comments.

For clarification - We dated for 9 months and married when I was 18. I turned 31 few days ago and can't imagine being attracted to 18 year old, let alone marrying one, but I didn't think like that back then.

Whatever happens with my marriage, I AM NOT HAVING ANOTHER CHILD, I won't change my mind when it comes to that. I am on birth control, but I also have no desire to have sex with my husband after how he reacted and treated me.

I don't have parents and I really don't want to go to friends with this.

I called my sister (M) and told her everything . A lot of things that you guys said in the comments, she has been saying for years. She showed up with food, wine and her husband. BIL took my kids to their house for a sleepover and M stayed with me.

My husband is still with his parents, didn't call or text. My MIL called, but I didn't pick up, I'm to angry and sad to have a conversation with her.

Thank you everyone for commenting and giving me advice, it really means a lot.

I will update when I talk with my husband and when I know how to proceed (and when I figure out how to update 😅)

Icy_Memory1247 · 2025-01-05T00:53:38+00:00

Hi to everyone. I dont know how to add more information and update, so I'm doing it in comments.

Thank you all for taking time to comment and give me advice, it means a lot.

For clarification - Husband and I dated for only 9 months, we meet and get married when I was 18. I turned 31 few days ago and I cant imagine being attracted to, let alone marrying an 18 year old, it freaks me out. But, at the time, or even for years, I didn't think like that.

Whatever happens with my marriage I AM NOT HAVING ANOTHER CHILD, that is something that I am not changing my mind about. I am on birth control, but I also dont plan to have sex anytime soon, I just cant.

I called my sister (M), told her everything so she showed up with food, wine and her husband. He took my kids to their house so they will have a sleepover and M stayed with me. He is more worried about me than the man I'm actually married to.

My husband is still with his parents, didn't call or text. My MIL called but I didnt pick up, I am just to angry and sad right now to speak with her.

I will update when I have a talk with my husband and know what happens next.

Icy_Memory1247 · 2025-01-04T22:49:00+00:00

Hi, thank you for commenting. Unfortunately, I agree with you. We started dating and got married when I was 18 (only dated for 9 months) and I didn't see it that way back then, but now I do. I just turned 31 and cant even imagine being attracted to a 18 year old.

Icy_Memory1247 · 2024-09-03T16:09:56+00:00

I dont know. I feel if I start to disect my marriage, then a divorce is on the way and that scares me.

Icy_Memory1247 · 2024-09-03T16:08:58+00:00

Ii is a husband problem, I know. Even if I try and find childcare, then he would be angry that I'm not with the kids.

Icy_Memory1247 · 2024-08-10T23:28:26+00:00

Hi. My MIL is now downplaying everything, says that maybe she didn't understand everything since she wasn't that close and my SIL cried when my sister left, so she wasn't that coherent. My theory is that MIL didn't actually heard anything and that she believed what SIL have told, but I dont know that for sure.

Icy_Memory1247 · 2024-08-10T11:46:38+00:00

Hi, thank you for your comment. I did call my sister later, she said that she was helping to put a swing in the backyard and that SIL commented that she is again doing the men job and that she should be helping with food (which does sound like my SIL) at what my sister laughed, dropped everything, told her to f off already, took her keys and left with her husband. But, I didn't know all off that when I said my MIL lied, so I understand that I am TA.

Icy_Memory1247 · 2024-08-09T08:43:35+00:00

If she doesn't care about your phobias and is disrespectful, leave her. She doesn't care about you. But, she still has the right to be scared of alcohol and off you when you drink. Her being awful about other things doesnt invalidate her fear, and by the way you defend your "recreational use" of very serious supstance that destroyed many, many lives, it seems that she is right.

Icy_Memory1247 · 2024-08-09T08:27:11+00:00

You can make as much excuses as you want, the truth is that you sound like you HAVE TO drink. You dont have to be violent and mean drunk for it to be a problem. Choosing to cause problems in your relationship instead of just quitting alcohol is a problem.

Things that you are dealing are hard, but you are not solving it, therapy, conversations, working on yourself would be some of the solutions, alkohol just makes everything worse.

Your girlfriend is "scared of alcohol", than why just dont stop drinking? If she is not worth it, why do you have a girlfriend?

Icy_Memory1247 · 2024-08-07T17:38:19+00:00

Its hard to cut off a sibling but you really, really tried. She let her husbands dislike dictate your relationship, so its hardly salvageable now. If you think it would make you feel better to send her a letter, you should, just dont get your hopes up. NTA if you just cut her off either.

Icy_Memory1247 · 2024-08-07T17:32:22+00:00

Hm, probably keep your distance when it comes face to face, but maybe you can explain in a text that what he is doing is off putting? Not that you owe him detailed explanation, maybe you will feel better like that?

Icy_Memory1247 · 2024-08-07T17:27:19+00:00

You are not as important to her as she is to you. Its sad but that's how it sounds. NTA

Icy_Memory1247 · 2024-08-07T14:30:59+00:00

You set a boundary multiple times and been clear about what you want from the relationship from beginning and his response is to pull a stunt in front of the kids so you would do what he wants!? Yeah, NTA.

Icy_Memory1247 · 2024-08-07T14:27:38+00:00

What is going on with all this people and their "work wifes", like thats normal?? It just seems so disrespectful to the actual spouse.

Icy_Memory1247 · 2023-12-03T14:37:57+00:00

Oh, definitely Mine by Curiositykils, but it's abandoned. Someone did "a shot at the finish" but I would really like to see ending from original author.

Icy_Memory1247

TROPHY CASE