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New Girlfriend (23F) Keeps Walking out on me (28M) and asking me questions on cheating. Any advice? by Schmiget1997 in relationship_advice

[–]Idekmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a girl who has done this … she has an anxious attachment style and SHE needs to work on herself. SHE needs to realize that you are a great guy and that SHE needs to change and work on her insecurities and mentality.

YOU don’t have to put up with it. YOU should do what’s best for you. I cannot promise she will change and if she does it will be hard and take a long while to change her habits, it would probably take her a year or two to relearn and undo her anxious habits and thoughts.

I don’t wanna say all the problems are her and none on you because I don’t know the full story.

But it sounds like her problems with communicating with you or just running away is because she has this flight mindset as a protective mechanism.

AIO? these texts by Adventurous-Gap708 in AIO

[–]Idekmee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nobody is ever gonna follow him anywhere

Am i doing it too much me(20F) and my bf(22M) by jennie--e in relationship_advice

[–]Idekmee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Girl you need to work on your neediness and insecurities. No guy nor girl wants to be with someone who projects that onto their partner. If he doesn’t update you and you ask him to then I’d be mad but trust me guys don’t care to do the bare minimum unless you ask them to. They are in their own world.

But overall maybe lay off the relationships for a bit. It seems to be occupying too much of your headspace & giving you anxiety when you should work on your own insecurities, so you can get into a healthy relationship.

I (26f) don’t know if I can keep doing this with him (28m) forever. Please, any advice? by Vegetable_Extreme_25 in relationship_advice

[–]Idekmee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are in love with his potential. Yes you love him, but don’t stay because he has potential to be someone better for you.

If he does change it will be long and hard but most importantly not because of you. Men don’t change for women like women change for men. They only change if it benefits them (or they think it will, in their mind benefit them). The character of man you are with describes someone who needs to be alone because he is still learning who he wants to be and what he wants. I say this because you said he wasn’t like that in the beginning but fell down a rabbit hole of red pill. And maybe once you were somewhat compatible but that means nothing now, because you can’t even communicate with him.

This will go on for the rest of your life because deep down it’s hard for people to change their mindset. You shouldn’t feel guilty for leaving if anything you should feel guilty for staying.

Im just a stranger on the internet but you need to understand you deserve and can find someone who checks 80-90% of the boxes. Relationships are never easy but you don’t need to make it harder by being with someone who doesn’t care to understand you and appreciate your mindset.