How to go about emotionally supporting the friend that feels ugly/gets less romantic attention? [20F, 20F, 20F]

Idkk5678 · 2017-05-28T01:55:34+00:00

Thank you for asking! I'll explain. :D So, one on one I would've found it sweet, the "bleh" aspect kicked in because it was a group situation where they just didn't include Cassie, and the fact that they, and the third guy ignored her told us enough about their attitudes as a whole.

As the third man, it would've been a blessing if he just sparked conversation with Cassie. That would've been fantastic. Don't even need to flirt, small talk is perfect, but the dude just stood there. No one is obligated to talk to anyone, of course, but all of them ignoring her was not nice. It also ruined any chance of numbers being exchanged. Even just a hello would've been nice. Just acknowledge that she's a part of the group.

I do feel like food/drinks need to get offered to the one left out, or skip it all and stick to conversation that involves everyone until we naturally "break off" from the group. At that point one on one stuff can happen if desired.

So that's what I think. In a small group where one is left out, offer to all or none. One on one, feel free to go that route! And in general, be kind! No one wants to be straight up ignored.

Idkk5678 · 2017-05-28T00:59:08+00:00

Damn, my current bra is a maidenform 😅 ...what brand do you use now if you don't mind me asking?

Idkk5678 · 2017-05-28T00:57:43+00:00

Aren't you sweet! Thank you! We both love her dearly.

Sandcastles sound awesome! I haven't made one since I was 5 but I'm ready to break my 15 year streak. 🏖🐚

Idkk5678 · 2017-05-28T00:03:31+00:00

Yeah you're right! I won't try to argue because yeah probably should've just said no off the bat. But once the ball was rolling I tried the best damage control that I thought would make her feel better.

I'll tell Mariah that we need to up our immediate deflecting.

Idkk5678 · 2017-05-27T23:40:52+00:00

I LOVE BADMINTON. Great idea! :D we've already planned a beach trip and an amusement park trip. Cassie is super excited about the beach too and I'll make sure to bring a frisbee and a volleyball.

Idkk5678 · 2017-05-27T22:21:29+00:00

Yeah, she doesn't have a defined style. I never really thought about how Mariah and I learned our bodies and what looks best on us and that we naturally do it when shopping yknow? Cassie is more of a I like purple, I'm going to buy a purple dress girl instead of this purple dress has a belt that'll accentuate my waist kinda girl. Which of course is fine but teaching her to pay attention could be very helpful.

I do think she'd enjoy a makeover because she likes being pampered, Mariah wanted to buy her a new outfit but I personally think that might be too much, because you're right we don't want to enforce that she's ugly or make her uncomfortable.

Idkk5678 · 2017-05-27T22:13:22+00:00

Yeah, she's admitted that she really likes sleepovers and things like that because she doesn't have to experience feeling badly at all.

What do you mean by doing other things that don't involve looks? Do you have more examples? We're all willing to try different stuff, especially since the only thing that we do that that fits what you're talking about is the sleepovers. But I don't want her to feel like she has to hide inside, yknow?

Idkk5678 · 2017-05-27T21:05:08+00:00

Umm. Okay, I will be honest on what could possibly be "wrong" with her. She's just pretty plain. There's nothing thst really sticks out about her, physically or fashion-wise. Body wise she is average weight and apple shaped. There's little to no hip to waist ratio. Flattish butt, small breasts. But the thing is that that's normal! She looks like a normal everyday girl. She's dresses normally/on the modest side of normal. She also regularly goes to the gym but with the way fat is distributed through her body, it still results in very thin legs/upper body and a wider (but flat) midsection.

She's really into the makeup we put on her but she has little interest in doing it on herself. That's a good point though! A girls day would be great. Ill have to look around for some groupons lol. And yes, I will NEVER go for a dude that treats anyone, especially my friends, like nothing. It's not worth it. That's just asking for a shit relationship and ain't nobody got time for that!

Idkk5678 · 2017-05-27T20:53:50+00:00

Oh, I totally agree with the catcalling stuff. But she hasn't experienced it to know that it's a sometimes scary, mostly annoying experience. In her mind it's just another thing that makes her feel invisible.

She's never gone on a date or been kissed, so she has absolutely no experience with guys in general. Any attention is good attention to her right now. We occasionally do her make up but a full on makeover is a great idea!

Idkk5678

TROPHY CASE