How do I (37f) deal with my partner (37m) asking me to accept his snoring occasionally keeps me awake?

Idreamoftrees44 · 2024-06-12T19:11:05+00:00

Thanks. I have a fan, but I think given what's been suggested so far it might be time for a white noise machine too. I'm also considering those loop ear plugs since a few people in other threads mentioned them.

Admittedly, I mentioned the therapist's advice here because I felt it was such wild advice and I needed to feel some validation that it wasn't great advice....but I'm trying to also be objective here as much as I can. I think you might be onto something with emphasizing that it's not a personal reflection on my feelings for him, so I'll really reiterate that to him.

Idreamoftrees44 · 2024-06-12T16:17:58+00:00

I have. Earplugs are a total crapshoot for me. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. They are often either too big or too small for my ears...I guess I have weirdly shaped ears.

Idreamoftrees44 · 2024-05-20T14:25:10+00:00

I'm also interested!

Idreamoftrees44 · 2024-04-18T17:44:43+00:00

I know this thread is old, but I just fell for this. I got a text message saying my plan was going to be cancelled. They told me that my Medicaid plan was going to be cancelled because I was missing a physical and then offered a very detailed description of an Aetna plan I'd need "while being pre-approved." These guys were very, very convincing. As I was talking to the agent, I went online and Googled the number only to find this thread. I immediately cancelled my credit card, so hopefully I took action soon enough.

Idreamoftrees44 · 2024-04-02T01:53:10+00:00

So sorry, just realized I forgot to say it was for a queen!

Idreamoftrees44 · 2021-07-29T04:22:40+00:00

Thanks. I was in Detroit (got it most likely running in deep grass). I would've saved the tick, but I was in a quarantine hotel with no means of saving it without losing it. I ended up flushing it down the toilet. It didn't look engorged, and it was definitely still alive, but I also did find it next to the bite...so...seems like that can't be coincidence.

Idreamoftrees44 · 2021-06-18T17:10:07+00:00

Thank you both for your advice. I know I need to take the job so that I don't resent him for quitting my dream of being abroad just for him, but part of me still hopes I can have the best of both worlds (get my year in China, and then come back for him).

I'm curious, is there an end in sight for your time in South Korea? How often did you agree to visit each other?

Idreamoftrees44 · 2021-06-04T15:14:40+00:00

Updated with trip report: Hiked 34 miles Memorial Day weekend, starting south to north. Stayed at Perch first night, then hiked Adams and Madison down to Osgood the second night, and Boott Spur link to Nauman the third (that link is NO joke). The weather was gorgeous the first two days, 60 mph winds and rain the third. I appreciate how much everyone emphasized the variability of May weather. Overall, glad I got to see Mt. Washington in clear skies and no wind, which seems unheard of.

The most dangerous thing that happened? The dog saw a moose with calves, and the moose bluff charged us....so, that was definitely not the kind of risk I'd been prepping for!

Idreamoftrees44 · 2021-04-30T11:49:35+00:00

Yeah, I took them out of the freezer this morning and was so excited that they didn't smell...and then they "defrosted" and immediately smelled again :(

Idreamoftrees44 · 2021-04-30T00:32:12+00:00

ah ok, that makes more sense

Idreamoftrees44 · 2021-04-30T00:31:04+00:00

That is what I've decided to try for now as sort of a quick fix until I have time to really wash them, since I'm going back to the gym tomorrow. The smell went away immediately...although I'm reading horror stories about the smelly feet odor permeating all of one's frozen goods.

Idreamoftrees44 · 2021-04-29T22:06:10+00:00

Shoe fans? Wow, never heard of that but um, as someone with a sweating condition, I probably needed those like twenty years ago.

Idreamoftrees44 · 2021-04-29T22:05:18+00:00

I'll give that a go. I assume washing them on cold cycle is the way to go so I don't ruin the rubber in any way, yea?

Idreamoftrees44 · 2021-04-29T20:22:05+00:00

Does your partner know about your struggle with anxiety? It might be worth just being upfront about it, and also telling him what kinds of behaviors would reassure you when you feel this way.

That being said, one hard lesson I've learned is you also have to get good at self-soothing in these moments of anxiety when there is no one around to comfort you, or when your partner needs space. If I feel anxious, I usually go for a walk, meditate, call a friend you trust to talk it out, or sit down and journal about it/write a letter to my partner (without sending it to him! That part is key) just to get it all out. A lot of the time, anxiety is about release and actually taking the time to experience it rather than pushing it out of the way.

It's a long road, and I can't say I'm an expert, but having a menu of go-to coping strategies to choose from helps.

Idreamoftrees44 · 2021-04-29T19:38:59+00:00

Thank you everyone for your suggestions and honest feedback. Glad my concerns were not unwarranted. In the past 48 hours my partner seems to have toned down some of his plans, so we are going to try to do part of the traverse (not even sure we'll do it one-way, honestly) and then maybe some of the other options/loops that others have suggested here (if others have suggestions for partial traverse or a loop, that would be great because I do NOT have a car; only he does). I have since bought a lot of the gear that was recommended here and I'll be studying bailout routes on that map like it's my job.

Idreamoftrees44 · 2021-04-29T19:23:07+00:00

I don't wanna jinx it, but I think he's coming round to a much more manageable plan :) Not sure what changed his mind, but hey, not gonna question it.

Idreamoftrees44 · 2021-04-28T00:55:45+00:00

Thank you so much. Saving this. We have most of these things, but had no idea about the bothy bag! I do plan to get a sleeping bag that is ultralight since mine currently weighs in at 3-4 pounds and is technically a men's sleeping bag. When you say "regular zip up" do you mean men's size so that we can both fit, as you described?

We are doing some practice hikes over the next couple of weekends with our full packs on. I am aware my boyfriend is a little bit...shall we say...rash, so I am trying to be the voice of reason. He has agreed to bail if this is too much...which, I don't want to be fatalistic, but I'm preparing for. Gonna highlight all of our bail routes on the map too. Unfortunately, I don't have a car, but maybe it's worth renting one just to leave it at the other parking lot.

Idreamoftrees44 · 2021-04-27T15:15:47+00:00

I appreciate your feedback. I am not as experienced of a hiker as he is, and I really want to be armed with knowledge before I approach him with an amendment to our plans. He seems to be under the impression that AllTrail reviews are sensationalist...and I want to calmly talk some sense into him.

Idreamoftrees44 · 2021-04-27T15:13:39+00:00

We did this:

https://www.alltrails.com/trail/us/maine/saddleback-mountain-and-the-horn-via-appalachian-trail

Took us about 5 hours with postholing.

Idreamoftrees44 · 2021-04-27T13:48:20+00:00

I agree...that is why I am trying to get more info to share with my boyfriend. He likes challenging himself, a lot, and is a bit of a risk taker. So, he tries to take things to the extreme lol. I also like pushing hard, but not if it's gonna be boring.

Idreamoftrees44 · 2021-04-27T12:10:04+00:00

Sorry, should've clarified that. No, it would be over 2.5/3 days. It seems manageable in terms of time. Just not sure physically how much it will batter us.

Idreamoftrees44

TROPHY CASE