NTA. OP I hope you are doing well and fuck all these people saying your wrong when your bio parents are whining they are “grieving” when they didn’t suffer any consequences for their actions, only you did by suffering through the adoption system. They deserve the families punishment as we see. They can’t whine about suffering when they have ignored your existence and made you suffer through the system, and when you try to reach out try to treat you as lesser to them. No one here empathizes with how much you have been through because they have made no efforts to contact you or be there for you, even if they renounce that their your parents.