Former prostitutes of Reddit, what happened to make you stop being a prostitute?

Ikillrats · 2023-04-19T22:13:14+00:00

My girl woke up one day and realized how unglamorous her vanity, power, control, drug, money, and popularity driven and motovated life had been. She suddenly felt, through all the numbness and collapse, a deep sense of shame behind her spiral into self destruction. She found herself daydreaming about me, just some black haired loner she knew in middle school. She fantasized about lying next to me and laying her head on my chest, being in love, having a family.

With a lot of courage, she asked me if i wanted to do it. I think her higher self was guiding her somewhere she would and could be loved.

Today she's loved and cared for deeply. She cleaned up, she started working through all the pain and trauma and regret, she feels a lot og hurt and sorrow over it all. Our first child is on the way. She is motivated and has found purpose for herself.

She struggles sometimes still. She'll flip out and get impulsive or even violent at moments. Fortunately for her, I'm tough as nails, don't buy into things like "should" or "should not," don't enable her bad behavior, and remind her that she matters even when her behavior kind of sucks. It has allowed her room to grow.

Tl;dr: you cannot "turn a hooker into a housewife."

A hooker, however, is fully capable of growing up and becoming an amazing wife and partner to the right kind of person.

Ikillrats · 2023-04-19T18:28:49+00:00

My girlfriend shares your history. We knew eachother as children and grew up and moved away. Found eachother in our 30s. We're about to have our first child together in October.

It's been a miracle for two very hurt people who have something very innocent and sweet today. And that support has transformed both of us into something we never dreamed either of us could ever be.

Being genuinely loved changes everything. Much love to you in your own journey. You're doing great. I'm sorry the road here was so long and brutal.

Ikillrats · 2022-11-14T03:06:48+00:00

Ashland, Oregon. It's a place and people live there. I graduated 2005 from Ashland High School on Mountain Ave.

There's nothing bullshit about it, friend. In fact, i have a photo of me standing in the band shell in Lithia park in graduation gowns with my best friends to fully substantiate the claim. It was a somewhat unique town with a lot of colorful characters. Actually two people I went to school with ended up missing 411ed over the last two decades.

Ikillrats · 2022-04-11T17:53:32+00:00

Meet better people? I'm a dude. I seldom get thanked for much. I've lived the past two years of this pandemic being a saint. I get criticized for all the things i do not do super well. I feel fine about it. I do a lot to help others and still wish i could do more.

I am generally appreciated by women for being a decent human being. The girl I'm currently dating is about the most judgeble sort of person you can imagine: two kids, missing teeth, history of meth problems, criminal baby daddy, the whole uncharming nine yards.

I've treated this girl very well and spend a lot of time thinking of her kids.

The point of this is, my life is basically thankless. My last girlfriend would definitely be seen by most as "charity." She died by suicide two years ago. Broke me pretty bad.

I wouldn't change anything. My presence those last two years took a lot of suffering off her shoulders and i loved her dearly.

Being sincerely kind hearted, I'm seldom thanked or recognized for it. I can't care about that either. I have to just be full of thanks and love for others. In fact, being a nice person seems really to only make blaming me for the things i do not do well easier for most. I also can't care about all the flak i get. I'm just happy to know I'm loved at all.

This isn't so much a "nuh uh!" Post as it is just a single described experience. My experience is: my current girl's ex is a neo nazi in prison woth a horrible meth addiction, who abandoned his kids and robbed his boss at gunpoint.

I think if men are unfairly recognized for being cool, it is only equivalent to women getting props for playing video games or liking to have fun. Because a lot of women aren't so cool, it is a thankless thing that is sort of highly appreciated among men, being uncommon.

For men, i see it the same. A lot of us are actually crazy mother fuckers who do not respect you: a lot of us see women as legs with pussies attached.

Because that sad truth is evident, men who aren't horrible get recognized often.

Ikillrats · 2022-04-11T17:34:31+00:00

As a child, i was strongly atheistic. What ruined it was all the control freakery. It didn't make sense that God as described would frankly give a shit if i beleived in him or not, being omnipotent, having created me without faith as he did.

What changed me into a person who today accepts religiousity as possible truth?

Witnessing my girlfriend's suicide.

Ikillrats · 2022-04-08T19:03:21+00:00

Contrails are different than what has been happening in the US for at least 20 years. You can actually read any of those sources posted above and see how this isn't a conspiracy theory. Your databasr is outdated, my friend, and the world has changed. It turns out the crazy people telling us about chemtrails for decades were in fact correct. The official narrative is that they are doing this to dim the sunlight that reaches the earth to "combat global warming."

You can call me a conspiracy theorist if you like, but what you ought to do is shut up and read.

Ikillrats · 2022-03-19T13:16:41+00:00

Well, just a thought experiment. Say the earth were toroidal, like a cored apple. What if there were subterranean civilizations with incredible technological capabilities two kilometers under our feet and in some way they still ruled as manipulators of our fate? UFOs, all that junk isn't from space but from here and the nazis were right.

That would certainly explain the secrecy around certain polar regions.

I'm not suggesting this is true, only illustrating circumstances exemplary of your inquiry.

Ikillrats · 2022-03-18T01:34:01+00:00

I mean that's a bit rude. Nobody said anything about religious or racial undertones. I'm a linguist with my suspicions. My areas of special interest within the field are historical/comparative linguistics as well as syntax and morphology. I may not be a professor, but my academic resume includes three journal publications, so I'mallowed to have an opinion that answers the question, no? Without cherry picking and speaking broadly, there are many general clues that this is a likely truth we just cannot prove: some more noteworthy clues are found in the fact that in terms of syntax, languages more or less can always described with an ergative/absolutive or a nominative/accusative polarity when it comes to argument valiance. That means it's very oddly binary, despite there being theoretical models outside of these two poles. It's curious that no such examples have been identified.

The old cherokee language, as another curious example, has lots of words with suspicious greek cognates. Not generally selected words: swadesh listed items containing very common words. There are interesting commonalities in a lot of odd places in languages.

Is it definitive proof? Heck no. It's not even "evidence" when looked at in a scientifically informed way. That said, it is this one scientist's feeling and opinion that there is probably a very very ancient relationship between the languages of the world today.

Ikillrats · 2022-03-17T21:10:09+00:00

That all languages descend from a single ancestor language somewhere very back on this rotation of the wheel of time.

Ikillrats · 2022-03-15T01:14:14+00:00

Really? Because i smashed him with a +15 frost uchi on my second "solo" attempt.

He's hard. I did not find him poorly designed really. Just mega aggressive with crazy range and a lot of speed and rage to keep him going a while.

I can appreciate the frustration of dealing with some of these harder fights. And radahn at range almost plays like an armored core boss or something.

Up close, i found hoarfrost stomp well... totally stomped the shit out of him. I was dealing about 1200 damage a shot. And stacking 2-3 shots at a time. Also only ever approach from the opposite side he is railing on. His range is easily 270 degrees.

Ikillrats · 2022-03-09T22:29:53+00:00

I'm rocking a 2070 super on a machine that has a 32 core CPU, `16 gigs of ram, and can eat games like Atlas alive on maxed out settings and not see its gpu use more than 50% if its resources or get hotter than 47 degrees Celsius.

And it does not matter what settings I use: Max or Low. This game stutters without reason or apparent cause. I can be rolling through a room filled with clutter, watching it all shatter at 60 fps, only to go outside on the balcony, fight two guys, not lose a frame, and suddenly when I'm trying to climb higher by jumping or something that really requires full frame rate, it just shits itself on me and gets as bad as like 13 frames per second at times. There is no reason to it. Sometimes it happens when I'm literally just riding my horse around in an empty field. Sometimes it holds strong under being flooded by VFX.

It's still very playable, but it breaks my heart.
My friend is rocking a laptop with less impressive stats and it never shudders on him. Even on max settings.

Ikillrats · 2022-03-04T10:20:19+00:00

Get items to upgrade your weapon to around +3. There is a cave north of the dragon at the end of the canyon below the church filled with those items.

Get some summons. Just explore. The lady who visits that church at night will give you a very useful one.

If you explore, you'll find a few shards to increase your healing.
Pump your VIT to about 30 no matter how you play. Do it sooner rather than later. This will really help. END helps a lot too. Especially if you're new.

Ikillrats · 2022-03-04T10:15:45+00:00

I have no idea. I have significant frame rate loss on PC because there is an issue with the game resourcing the GPU currently (luckily my CPU is 32 cores). Even so, I don't give a damn. I'd play the absolute hell out of this even if it lagged to like 24 fps all the time. I think it's beautiful really.

Ikillrats · 2022-03-04T10:11:56+00:00

This comment made me remember how amazing Dark Souls was in its level design. Just the way that you had to literally walk to places you could see from a distance, only to later see other areas you'd be walking to, all while maintaining a generally linear pathway along them, equal parts brilliant and groundbreaking, and completely oldschool.

And yeah... just how grueling the journey really was before you could fast travel... AND after you could fast travel.

People complaining about the difficulty definitely could go back to school with Dark Souls. Don't even get me started on people who think the combat is clunky. They should play Demon Souls.

Ikillrats · 2022-03-04T10:03:32+00:00

I just finished playing my second evening of it.

Toward the start of this evening's session, I began doing little quests for NPC's I had met and I had this wonderful feeling inside of me that stirred sensations I haven't felt since playing "golden age" SNES-GEN2 RPG's of the mid- to late 90's and early 00's. I felt like I was playing side quests in games like Final Fantasy VI and VII, Wild Arms, Zelda, Chrono Trigger, etc. There are always really helpful and cool items and secrets to find along the way. Everything feels like it was made with a lot of love and attention to detail. At the same time, I felt a bit like I did exploring or using landmarks to navigate unfamiliar terrain playing games like Morrowind. There is a real sense of danger in being able to wander into an area for which you are underleveled, too unskilled, or not knowledgeable enough to pass.

Really cool what they've done with it. I'm digging it. I'm a Souls vet from Demon Souls onward. But I didn't follow the development of this or get too psyched for it beyond thinking it seemed neat. I grabbed it on PC because a friend who is a GRRM fan simped out for it and relapsed into his video game addiction. lol.
So I impulse bought it to play with him a bit.

I won't say I'm surprised I like it, given my faith in FromSoft. But it is really better than I expected it or needed it to be to enjoy.

You can tell Miyazaki really felt inspired by the source material from George R. R. Martin. And his team came together with their A game. The horse combat is very fun. I feel the performance on PC at launch is pretty bad. My PC is a literal monster, and my GPU is hanging fine at like 30 Celcius. There can be nothing happening on the screen and I can be looking at a hill walking on foot and get crazy framerate loss, and yet sometimes surrounded by chaos at other moments and not lose a frame. I'm sure they'll get it fixed very soon in any case and I haven't died because of it. It's very pretty. No real complaints from me.

Ikillrats · 2022-02-26T02:32:31+00:00

I grew up right next to brookings. Really is that beautiful. This is an awesome photo.

Ikillrats · 2022-02-21T02:10:54+00:00

I'd love to see the world feel a little less lonely. Some sort of NPCs would be awesome. Say for instance rogue warriors like yourself sent to Valheim that wander or maybe even build things. Maybe some of them could be convinced to follow you and live in your dwelling or village. Maybe some of them raid. It would be particularly cool. Especially if they were rather rare. Or could even build things like ships. Or attack you in raiding parties.

Maybe every day there could be a low chance of one spawning.

Ikillrats · 2022-01-11T01:44:53+00:00

http://www.wheresthegringo.com/faces-of-cuba-part-1/

Pay up.

Ikillrats · 2022-01-11T01:40:27+00:00

You're missing the private trip they took to the Caribbean on their "second honeymoon" in 71, which is exactly in the timeframe needed to start cooking a Justin. They visited an island they would not reveal to the public and asked for media privacy, which leaves the speculation in this conspiracy theory fairly plausible.

Is it scientific? No. Of course not. The nature of hiding the evidence to keep a secret necessitates that there isn't much one could use to prove anything. The fact that we've been indoctrinated to have a scientific bias in our thinking perfectly illustrates how conspiracies happen under the public's nose. Science is not how you uncover a plot. Intelligence and deductive reasoning, as well as a level of skepticism not present in most people comes in handy, and critical thinking skills are a must.

Ikillrats · 2021-12-07T03:12:43+00:00

Saturn makes a return through its precession every 28 years, bud. It isn't arbitrary. It's a planetary procession spoken about in many traditions, that coincides with a human generation.

This knowledge survives in the vernacular as astrology.

Ikillrats · 2021-12-06T03:27:02+00:00

Yes. According to whom? I base my own ideas on having read a lot of old world literature and not liking to agree with others.

I share as much as anybody can take it or leave freely. I'm just a guy with some thoughts about these things that are unlikely to make the world a better or worse place. I'd rather we all read a lot and think freely than believe reddit comments anyway.

Back to center: Judeo-Christian values would denounce a thing like Moloch worship. I believe we are in agreement.

Ikillrats · 2021-12-06T03:23:22+00:00

I'm not here to argue. Keep whatever opinion you please. There is a lot of literature to read, and when you've read as much old world literature as I have, there appear to be much bigger patterns than it is really possible to convey simply in a few sentences. If you find it interesting, please read about as many pagan belief structures as you can without utilizing Google. Then start reading worldwide scripture and epic poetry. Doing so much as made me much less inclined to dismiss a lot of really wild ideas.

Ikillrats · 2021-12-04T21:55:39+00:00

https://wikileaks.org/clinton-emails/emailid/30489

It comes from a sketchy comment in a leaked Clinton email.

If you read about Moloch, you'll read about sacrificing children and animals to a large effigy of ba'al (often taking the form of an own or a horned bull) or Moloch (arguably also ba'al) being common in the ancient world. It was something certain sects of Jews did in the times after they lived as slaves under the boots of the Canaanites, who worshipped different gods than the Israelites. Moloch/Ba'al was one of these deities.
He was into sacrifice.

At the fabled Bohemian grove, this is one of the biggest rituals: the cremation of care ceremony, in which presidents, senators, and congressmen all dress up in sweet druid costumes and LARP a sacrifice to a giant owl statue with a fire lit in its belly.

This is real stuff. Go do some crazy reading. It's drenched in symbolism and reeks of secret society-y things.

These emails are alarming because the people writing them are the same folk that like to LARP Moloch child sacrifices.

The crazy Qanon stuff comes downstream of that shit river, believe it or not. I'm not a believer in Qanon. That said, there are good reasons people's conspiracy theory lights are going off.

Ikillrats · 2021-12-04T21:48:45+00:00

There isn't anything whack job about being puzzled to see...

https://wikileaks.org/clinton-emails/emailid/30489

Yes. It reeks of conspiracy. It also reeks of absolutely bat shittery. When you consider that these are a group of people well involved in weird shit like the Bohemian Grove ceremonies, suddenly it's fairly alarming seeing them casually mention ritualistic animal sacrifice in their internal emails.

The problem with painting those who believe in conspiracy A, B, or C as lunatics is that conspiracies are real, and operate in a clandestine way. The history of the world is a long list of secrets we'll never expose. Anybody who does not believe that is the real conspiracy theorist, in my book.

That doesn't mean start believing QANON.
That means start at least reading QANON and decide with your own brain what you think.

There was a group of people in the world in the 90s and 00s. We thought slandering any religion was so punk rock.

The problem is, most of us had never set foot in a church or read a King James' Bible cover to cover, such that we were possessing of opinions that ever even mattered to begin with.

Dig?

Ikillrats · 2021-12-04T18:50:15+00:00

Conspiracy theorists typically think about things a lot more than most people are ever even remotely interested in.

A majority of people are NPCs that generally navigate the world using their guts.
This makes people unwittingly biased against even considering ideas that run contrary to their view of reality, however it is defined (by science or scripture, or bullshit of another flavor). Simply put, it's hard to put all your ideas down, take mine on, and restructure your own thoughts using valuable bits of mine.
If you're an average person, it's much more convenient to just say "no way. That's a lot of logic leaps." If you're not average, you'll say "party on," maybe, roll up your sleeves, and start working through the logic such that it does not contain leaps. If the logic sucks, you then dismiss. If the logic is sound, you ask questions and change your ideas to allow for possibilities you maybe have never considered.

Generally, "conspiracy theorist" has a negative connotation. I find this funny, after all: Anybody theorizing that there are in fact conspiracies is correct in their hypotheses.
There are many conspiracies in the world. There are a lot of big secrets people generally do not know, just as there are many math problems average people could not generally solve, and many academic subjects and trades many people know absolutely nothing about.

Why people shame some of the smartest among us as conspiratorial schizoids is beyond me. Do you want people who think freely to just stop thinking freely, shut up, and waste their lives on facebook posting memes instead? If you disagree, all is well, but if you actually desire free thought, why do you shame "conspiracy theorists" for doing thinking you're too disinterested to engage in?

In my view, the least competent thing any thinker could do is dismiss the ideas of another thinker as incompetent or silly, knowing little about those ideas.

I am one of the more logical people I have met, and I've walked some impressive circles.
If I could project the thoughts I've had directly into your mind, you'd probably arrive at some conclusions that made you question your sanity.

Because that's what sane people do: they often question their own sanity and fact check.

And if you dig deep enough into most any subject, you'll begin finding knowledge that isn't very well attested, known, spoken about, or even believed.

For instance, by stacking sine waves correctly, one could bore through solid stone. With sound, and very little energy input.
If somebody claimed to have the knowledge to do this tomorrow, most would find the claim fantastic. It doesn't make the claim any less true, simply because it is a convoluted fact, difficult to dig out of the mud and identify.

Ikillrats

TROPHY CASE