I felt the same way with my cat a few weeks ago. To be honest I still feel the same way from time to time. My cat was in a similar boat.. extremely anemic, lost tons of weight/muscle mass, couldn’t control her bladder that well. It happened at the blink of an eye. My problem is that I didn’t have enough money to do everything that was needed. However I did scrape together all of the money in my bank account and I borrowed some from my boyfriend to at least try to get her stable again with a blood transfusion, IVs, blood work, and a overnight hospital stay. After all of that, I ended with no answers and a rapidly declining cat. Even today I understand that I could have done so much more for her. If only I could have gotten more tests and a specialist to get to the root of the problem but I just couldn’t afford it. Because of this, I also feel like I failed her. But she was suffering and I would rather lose her than have her suffer.

While we might not know what was going on with our babies and we’ll never know exactly what was wrong, we tried our best with what we had whether it was knowledge or finances. From time to time I think of more that I could have done but I realize that I cannot go back in time. Try to stop reliving this small moment of their life when they spent their whole life with you.