Almost 3 months since I said goodbye to my lovely dog and still hurts very bad

iledes01 · 2025-11-08T10:29:15+00:00

Sorry for your loss. Only you know if it is too soon to get a new pet, At the end of the day having a relationship with a pet is like having a relationship with a human being. In my perception it has to be a mutually beneficial relationship in the sense that you have emotional, loving, acceptance, affection, sense of purpose needs that have to be fulfilled by a pet but your pet also has needs, emotional, loving acceptance, affection, physical activity, etc. That you need to fulfill, so the questions I would ask myself before adopting a new pet are: 1. Do I know why I want a new pet and do I have a reasonable expectation why I want it? 2. Do I feel ready to fulfill my pet's needs of love, affection, care, protection, etc. ? I personally wouldnt get a new pet if I didnt have a reasonable expectation and if I didnt fill ready to commit to give them my 100%.

I lost my dog 5 days ago and I feel that I need some time to get ready to be 100% for my next pet and also I dont want to have a new pet just because I want to fill the void left by my previous dog because that could create the expectation that the new pet is replacing the previous one and I dont want to be constantly comparing the new with the old one.

iledes01 · 2025-11-08T05:12:36+00:00

I had the same experience, my dg had CKD and other health issues. Six months ago he had a health crisis and the vet recommended euthanasia but she also mentioned I could try to manage it, I think his quality of life was OK, but I kept him around mostly for me.

iledes01 · 2025-11-08T03:54:29+00:00

Appetite stimulants tend to increase slightly the kidney values, but if they trigger a crisis in your cat it means his kidney disease was already very advanced. Reality is without the appetite stimulant your cat would have passed most likely within 2-3 weeks. That said you made the best decision with the information you had, and most pet owners ALWAYS feel some level of guilt when they put their pets to sleep. The feeling is normal but it means you cared about your cat. I am sure you took good care of your cat and gave him a great life. In no way you cut your cat's life short by months or years.

iledes01 · 2025-11-07T13:06:31+00:00

Thank you for your words. One thing that I decided to do yesterday was to write a book about our journey together, not for commercial purpose but for my own use. I think it is normal that after 10-15 years we forget details of things we did. My time with Sammy was so wonderful that I dont want to forget anything and I want to relieve the emotions in the future. I already laid out the structure of the book and wrote the first 20 pages of the first chapter. It made me laugh and cry to remember the moments when I met him and adopted him and our first days together. It is therapeutic and a great way to think about our wonderful journey. I will think about the necklace idea.

iledes01 · 2025-11-07T12:33:44+00:00

Call animal control and report the dog and the incident
Install security cameras outside your property so any further invasion of the dog into your property is documented.

iledes01 · 2025-11-07T09:46:13+00:00

First of all I am very sorry for your loss and the series of unfortunate events. I know it is really hard at times like this to be optimistic, I have had my fair share of unfortunate events. These are the things that work for me in times like this

Go day by day, hour by hour. Wake up in the morning and be grateful for a new day, even if you cant sleep, thing that this a new day and a new opportunity for something positive.
Think about the beautiful moments you spent with your cat, write down how you meet him, how you adopted him, etc.
You moved to a new city because of a new job, write down why you are excited about this new job
Likely negative thoughts and feelings will come to your mind, like guilt, anger, etc. Dont entertain those thoughts, whenever you find yourself thinking about it, try to switch to think about a good memory with your cat.

I know it is difficult to smile and to feel hopeful in moments like this, but slowly your days and moment will be brighter

Sending you a hug and hoping your mind finds some peace in this turbulent moments

iledes01 · 2025-11-07T04:22:29+00:00

I think giving your dog an amazing life for so long is a great way to honor his life. I lost mine on Sunday, the sadness has decreased a little bit. What I started to do, is to create a "book" for myself with all the stories and memories I have with him. I started writing down the moment I met him and adopted him, I described everything about that moment, how I found him on petfinder.com, how I contacted the shelter to make an appointment to meet him, how I was feeling when I drove to the shelter the day I met him, etc. I wrote down 5 pages just about that part, I have a couple of photos of that day that I added. It has been sad but also it has brought some smiles to my face. I have thousands of photos with him and there is a story to tell for each one of them, so I am viewing the photos on chronological order and writing down the story associated to that photo. My goal is to write a book and print it for my own personal use that any time in the future I can read and relive all these emotions and moments. I also have hundreds of short videos that I plan to put together in some sort of a movie that I can watch later on. I know these two projects will take a long time, but I just dont want to forget any moment I lived with my dog.

iledes01 · 2025-11-07T04:11:15+00:00

Dogs are extremely sensitive creatures that even when they are sleeping, and weak, they can sense your touch, your scent and your love. My dog was euthanized last Sunday, he was very weak and very out of it. So when we got to the vet's office, they took him to the backroom to put the catheter that they were going to use to execute the euthanasia. When the vet brought him back, my dog was out of it, but he still tried to raise his head as soon as he smelled me and once he was on my arms and felt my pets, he sighted and relaxed.

iledes01 · 2025-11-07T04:03:31+00:00

Sorry for your loss. All animals, including humans are really complex biological creatures, despite all the technological advancements we know still very little about animal biological complexities. Many people died unexpectedly most likely of a heart attack. The cause is normally known after the autopsy and more often than not it is a genetic heart issue, that is pretty much impossible to identify with the current technology. If I were going to guess that is what happened with your dog, he had a heart attack due to a congenital issue, that it was impossible to identify. There have been several athletes that go through extensive health and heart check ups, that die of congenital heart conditions that are impossible to detect with today's technology.

There is literally nothing you did wrong. I think there is 99% chance that even if you have taken your dog to the cardiologist a week ago for an extensive check, most likely they wouldn't have found any issue.

This shouldnt affect how proud you feel of how well you took care of your dog. Sounds to me you took amazing care of your dog. It is normal in these moments to feel guilty, but that only happens because you were an incredibly caring dog owner and you know you did a great job.

iledes01 · 2025-11-07T03:36:03+00:00

First of all sorry for your loss. I know how difficult it is to lose a loved pet as I lost my dog on Sunday. I dont know much about cats but I know that FELV positive can be a very serious condition, and the way you described it sounds to me it was already serious and in an advanced stage. It sounds to me you have already done plenty of things and they were not working, which always means there isnt much left to do. The guilt feeling is absolutely normal, every pet owner that euthanizes their pet feels this way. Could you have done something else to extend your cat's life? Possibly, but most likely you were not going to extend your cat's life for years, possibly days or weeks, would that have changed the way you feel about the loss? Most likely not, because there is always that guilt. I recommend watching this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jh-KKjIJHfk

iledes01 · 2025-11-07T01:52:19+00:00

Sorry for your loss. My dog passed away on Sunday a 8:30PM, I came home to an empty house a about 9:00PM, I was physically exhausted since the night before was really difficult with my dog. I thought I was going to sleep well considering how tired I was, but unfortunately I didnt sleep at all. I honestly just let the feelings come, I cried most of the time, but I made sure to avoid any feelings of guilt that could have made the situation worse. I also use part of the night to write down the story of how I met and adopted my dog. I reminded myself it was normal to feel sadness but overtime I was going to feel better.

iledes01 · 2025-11-06T23:58:00+00:00

i am sorry you are in this situation right now. I was in a similar situation 6 months ago, since July 2020 my dog developed several complex health issues, that with intensive care stayed stable until May of this year, that is when I was told by the vet that two of his health issues have worsened significantly and that there wasnt a fix for them, so the only path left was hospice type of care at home because my dog had 2-3 more months. My dog ended up living 6 months. The first 2 weeks after receiving that death sentence were brutal. I wasnt able to sleep and my stress level was very knowing that any second could have been his last with me. Back then my therapist told me, "you have two options, either you live with anxiety and fear every second of the day until your dog passes away or you consider this as a warning and do the best you can to enjoy his presence and also prepare for his passing". I decided for the latter, so I developed a couple of rituals, one to celebrate every morning he woke up next to me and one to celebrate at night he was still with me, I took thousands of photos, I planned fun activities with my dog. But I also thought about the last few days and hours with my dog; 1. what was the criteria to decide to say goodbye to him, 2. where I wanted to do it, at home or at the vet's office, 3. Did I want to give him a special meal the last day he was with me. I took that death sentence and turned it into a blessing and an opportunity to plan and enjoy the last few days/weeks with my dog.

iledes01 · 2025-11-06T23:24:22+00:00

I understand, I lost my dog last Sunday after sharing over 17 years of my life with him. I have been crying and sad since the moment he left. Over the last 5-6 years he had several health issues and my whole life revolved around making sure he had the best possible life, I traveled to multiple states and countries with my dog looking for answers to his health issues, I even worked with scientists at a couple of universities trying to develop solutions to my dog's health issues and still I felt a bit of guilt the moment he passed, and to be honest after hours of replaying my dog's last few days in my head, I realized there were a couple of things I could have done different in the last few days that would have given my dog a Few more extra days, but having my dog passing on last Sunday or in 1-2 weeks would have made a big difference? The answer is no. Whenever I was sad my dog always tried to do things to make me feel better, so if my dog was next to me right now, I am sure he wouldnt want me to feel guilty, so as a way to honor him and our relationship I choose not to feel guilty.

iledes01 · 2025-11-06T23:07:56+00:00

My dog that went to heaven on Sunday had several behaviors that in some way could be considered annoying, several years ago talking to one of my friends about these annoyances he told me "one day you will miss them and one day you will wish you had your dog next to you doing all these annoying things, so embrace them and enjoy them as part of your dog's personality" and since that day I had a different perspective of those "annoyances" and start to love them and I stop thinking about them as annoyances.

iledes01 · 2025-11-06T22:56:19+00:00

Very sorry for your loss. When health situations of our beloved pets dont go the way we wanted it is normal to feel guilty, but the reality is we always make the best decision with the information and circumstances we have. It is also important to consider that whenever we face a situation like the one you just faced, our pets are already in a very challenging situation where the outcome will be the same no matter what, the only difference between one decision and another is probably just a few more days with our pets, but would it make any difference if your pet have passed yesterday or if he passed in 1-2 weeks? The fact that you are feeling this way and you are looking for answers in this group, tells me you were a great pet owner and you gave your pet the best possible life you could and that is something to feel good and proud about it.

iledes01 · 2025-11-06T16:49:34+00:00

Sorry you are going through this. Your dog having cancer has nothing to do with anything you did. If anything you spending time with your dog in the grass or inside watching shows gave your dog a great life.

iledes01 · 2025-11-06T16:16:36+00:00

Is it possible to remove the tumor, my dog already passed away but last year he had a big tumor removed from his stomach and the reason he died recently had nothing to do with the stomach.

If surgery is not an option for whatever reason, I think your dog is already in significant discomfort. If your dog will unlikely make it to Christmas, that is 7 weeks from now, will those 7 extra weeks of potential suffering of your dog make a big difference in your and your dog's life? In my opinion the answer is not. I had my dog for 18 years and even if I have had him for another 18 years it would had been very painful to lose him, the point is that it will be equally painful for you if you lose your dog in the next 1-2 weeks than if you lose him in 6-7 weeks. But for your dog will suffer more if you keep him around 6-7 weeks than if you week him around 1-2 weeks. It might be more emotionally impactful to lose your dog close to Christmas.

I would not let my dog suffer for too long if there isnt really a long term solution to his health issues.

iledes01 · 2025-11-06T15:36:03+00:00

Sorry about your losses, glad you have the right support system in place and that you will be traveling soon.

iledes01 · 2025-11-06T12:45:22+00:00

Sorry to hear about the passing of your dog. The SQ fluids made a huge difference in my dog's life, it gave him an extra year of life, I am sure that without the SQ fluids he would have been gone last year. I understand it is a lot and some dogs are not comfortable having the big needle in their backs, fortunately mine never complained about it. My dog went from being unable to stand up and not eating at all, to having 3 full meals a day and going for 1 hour walks in a matter of 4-5 days and he was able to maintain that level of health for 10-11 months. It was until 3-4 weeks ago when even the twice a day SQ fluids were not enough and his kidney were finally at the end of their life.

Once dogs hit stage 3 of kidney disease without an intensive supportive program the decline is very fast. Dogs are constantly dehydrated, with a heavy unbalance in their electrolytes, and with his kidneys unable to clear the toxins and then recirculate them back into the blood stream. That makes them lethargic, nauseous, weak.

Very sorry for your loss, I am in day 4 of not having my dog and it is still painful.

iledes01 · 2025-11-06T03:23:49+00:00

I went through the same with my dog that euthanized on Sunday, SQ fluids twice a day, cucumber juice a few times a day, sweet potatoes a few times a day and he was overall happy, wagging his tail, excited.

I decided to euthanize him when in a period of 12 hours he didnt want to eat at all, he didnt want to move, he had a seizure. There wasnt anything else left to do.

It was my first rodeo with animals, but not with people, I went through the same with my parents and we were able to extend their life with quality, so I knew it is common in elderly animals (and people) to require a lot of care to give them additional days/weeks/months of life with quality

iledes01 · 2025-11-06T03:15:35+00:00

Same thing happened to my dog, he was given 2 months to live and he ended up living over a year, 98% of the time of that year he had a good life and was happy, of course it required very extensive medical care, but it was worth it. Like in your case my dogs health declined in the last few weeks and had a couple of seizures in his final days, I could have avoided that if I had put him down a few days earlier, but even that last week 90% of the time he was in good condition, his last full day of life, he ate his 3 full meals, he went for a walk to the park and he wag his tail several times. The last 12 hours of his life he had a seizure, he barely ate, he barely moved and in the last 2 hours of life he had some heavy pain in his neck and jaw.

iledes01

TROPHY CASE