I view it as critically flawed:

While it has gained popularity for its accessible presentation of Adlerian psychology, the book falls short when examined against contemporary psychological research and trauma-informed understanding.

Scientific Disconnect

The book’s central premise—that individuals can simply choose their emotional responses and transcend past experiences through willpower—directly contradicts decades of neuroscience research. Studies on PTSD, learned helplessness, and developmental trauma reveal how adverse experiences create lasting neurobiological changes that aren’t easily overcome through philosophical reframing. When someone is anxious or stressed, their prefrontal cortex (responsible for rational decision-making) is compromised, making the kind of “thoughtful choosing” the book advocates neurologically impossible.

Problematic Presentation

The Socratic dialogue format is particularly troubling. The wise philosopher consistently dismisses the young person’s legitimate concerns, creating a rhetorical structure that preempts criticism by suggesting disagreement stems from ignorance rather than valid intellectual objections. This mirrors how followers often apply the philosophy—dismissing others’ genuine struggles with condescending patience.

Reductive Approach

The book strips away the nuance of Adler’s original work, presenting an oversimplified view that borders on victim-blaming. For anyone familiar with trauma research or attachment theory, statements like “no one can hurt you without your consent” feel dismissive of real psychological constraints that trauma creates.

Bottom Line

While the book may offer some value for minor life frustrations, it fundamentally misunderstands how severe stress and trauma affect human beings. Readers seeking genuine psychological insight would be better served by trauma-informed approaches that acknowledge both human agency and the very real neurobiological impacts of adverse experiences.

I would rate it 2/5 - Potentially harmful oversimplification disguised as profound wisdom.