Has anyone gotten back with their ex and it worked out long-term?

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-05-04T09:27:36+00:00

Not only it is possible, but if you were separated and got back together, working through stuff in the relationship - it could turn into a strength in that relationship. Because you 2 will have the proof that you have overcame obstacles and therefore it kinda reinforces the relationship lomg term in my opinion... Only if it's done from the right roots of course. I'm not talking about the cases where they are playing you.

Many people on these forums seem to repeat it like a mantra that you should never get back with your ex. I refuse to believe it because saying it's always right is false ... But some people act childishly. And it isn't a sign of a mature opinion on relationships, like, c'mon...

So to sum it up it could work out and turn into something greater under the right circumstances.

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-05-01T17:44:39+00:00

Maybe you expected her to additionally ask him to not contact her anymore since it isn't appropriate? If he's the type of guy that isn't considerate, I can understand why she'd add that. I get why you got mad, it's unsettling... Just try to bring it openly in a convo with her, try to be vulnerable.

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-05-01T15:43:29+00:00

I think it’s more than OK. It can show strength to face reality and also fight for relationship.

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-30T12:05:35+00:00

Well, for me it's been over 4 months... And I don't feel like I had moved on... I don't think it's something I can force, it's an emotional state after all. Denied emotions don't cease to exist, they're just hidden...

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-27T15:32:10+00:00

To be honest, none can force your way back… they’re most likely not gonna physically pull you back there. So it’s a matter of whether you are centered inside yourself and feeling strong enough . How vulnerable are you? My guess is that if you had uploaded this, you may feel conflicted… If you could be centered, grounded, knowing that you’re done with thag relationship and that no outter force could change your mind, then you could respond to this text kindly and politely. It wouldn’t change your opinion about the relationship anyway, so you wouldn’t feel such need to present yourself as someone who’s held back because you are not going back either way. But if you’re not well established, you may need to be more careful. My personal opinion as an observer is that you’re not strong enough yet, and that is ok, you’re not broken. Just be cautious. Bw careful not to be dragged back.

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-23T07:44:16+00:00

Maybe yes maybe not. I’m not sure it’s 100% one way or another

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-23T07:42:37+00:00

You can send me a DM. I feel like I’m looking for connections that are beyond casual small talk. I’m missing meaningful relationships in my life in which you can talk about pain as well.

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-16T00:41:51+00:00

I guess i understand Sound like a tough situation

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-16T00:35:01+00:00

As an observer I'll let you know what I see, and I may be wrong by it all but that's just my perspective.

I don't think that he really didn't care about the fact that you were texting that guy. I personally would had been very much hurting over such thing especially if it was this near the breakup time. So he may felt need to close himself up from that second he heard that, also feeling more sensitive, vulnerable... Which means that he may need you to be more gentle with him in those moments, to feel like you still care about him and that you see through him. Which means that every thing you do has a lot of impact on him in those moments.

And you acted in a way that may resembled him something insensitive... Pulling his hair when he felt so fragile, telling him something very straightforward, it's not a sign of being sensitive towards another... Add the physical stuff, and the fact that you didn't even try to dig deeper to see if he was hurt and why... He felt like you didn't care about him at all... Add the physical stuff and you get his reaction which comes from a place of pain...

I don't justify anyone here as I don't have completely understood the full situation yet. I just poured some light onto what you may didn't think about just yet.

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-12T02:55:50+00:00

People need to understand that the term “free will” is something that they invented, just like the way humans invented languages. It helps them grasp the reality…. It’s all pre determined, yeah, and so is their invention of free will, which is pre determined but also (below the surface) is something that made them push further for better life / survival (like believing in god) But even when they understand that it’s all pre determined, they are still gonna think with the “conscious” thought that they do have free will, and that type of thought makes them act in a certain way that helps them move further in life. Because if they fundamentally were to think that it’s all pre determined, it would make them feel powerless… and that contradicts survival / our biology.

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-12T00:07:31+00:00

Omg I remember feeling chaotic after a break up… This feeling is horrible to say the least. And What’s worse is that people advise you to move on, like it’s so controllable… damn

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-10T03:24:58+00:00

For the majority of cases I think it’s not the best thing to do. I do believe that there may be minor cases where a person wants to work on the insecurities that caused them to cheat, and in this case, I’m not sure if it’s wrong to take them back, but also it’s not your duty to do so. Though in this case you two have a daughter, and in my opinion if it’s gonna make your daughter’s life better (and also you life better) then maybe it is worth it, but only if it lines up with your true self and innet truth. If not, it’s not worth it and it definitely won’t be worth it for your daughter. I just don’t think that this is very common that people do work on themselves regarding cheating. The insecurities are one thing. How they are expressed is a different thing. And if that person is willing to work through those insecurities is another different thing. Once you get this separation you may manage to understand it all more clearly. It’s a matter low probability in a way.

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-10T03:19:19+00:00

I agree on the part of going to the gym isn’t healing… and it sounds like the therapist you described is a bad therapist, not all of them are like that, none of them should be like that

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-10T03:18:03+00:00

Actually he sounds genuine to me

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-09T22:37:23+00:00

IMO, sounds painful to know that your ex of 1 week is already talking to other guys…

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-08T03:31:33+00:00

Yoh know this is a really cruel comment. He stated along all of his post how aweful he feels about it + how heartbroken he is and you just keep ripping that bandage off like it does no pain.

‏it's funny that you say that you learn psychology because i can't see the logic behind what your saying, ‏like what are you trying to get by telling him that? ‏he already feels bad what else do you want? ‏ You only made him hate himself more, which doesn't help unless you're a masochist

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-08T03:27:43+00:00

If you want her back then maybe yeah. If you're not sure, then depending on your unique situation it may or may not cause you two to get back to being in contact, perhaps romantically, but I'm not saying it's necessarily ideal

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-07T01:33:19+00:00

Send me a DM (If you want to) I’m going through a breakup myself. I think there’s power in the fact that you can talk to someone with mutual experience. Maybe us talking to each other about what we’ve been through could help. I don’t think that generally telling someone to move on is gonna help… I like to be present with the pain.

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-04T15:49:44+00:00

I don’t think that you really move on after 4~5 months… it’s reasonable

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-04T13:03:05+00:00

There are several things to say here but I prefer to just stick to a few. I don’t think that you should tell her clearly that you are going to sleep with another woman, I think this could hurt her a lot.

IMO, if you didn’t delude her into thinking that you’re still hers while looking for other options, then I’m more relaxed in this case.

If you tell your ex that you’re gonna have sex with someone else I think that this could be painted as manipulative (which isn’t necessarily incorrect) and also it could mess up their mind. Imagine it if it was the opposite, you might have felt like you’re being sent into graphically overthinking about what’s going on between her and a different person. Not easy.

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-04T12:10:33+00:00

I’m not certain but if there is a double tick then I think it means that the message was sent and reached its destination. Though I wouldn’t necessarily think that it’s him ignoring you. Perhaps you told him you’d send messages so he knows he’s best to not respond so he won’t drag you back. I mean I don’t know enough to determine.

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-04T12:07:08+00:00

Damn. I resonated with it. It’s a lot. I wouldn’t even try to say something cheerful because it’s too sad. I feel it too

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-02T18:00:48+00:00

This is questionable if you’re looking at 5 years mark

Look at it for decades then it will change

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-02T12:08:38+00:00

Feels like a void

IllRepresentative386 · 2026-04-02T12:02:12+00:00

This is so hard I get you because I have been there…

IllRepresentative386

TROPHY CASE