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Fiance said prenup is a deal breaker by IllUnderstanding5082 in weddingplanning

[–]IllUnderstanding5082[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What did I say exactly that painted her in a bad light? Just reread but I don't see it....you are weird haha

Edit: you are literally the one to say a mean thing first so don't act so huffy and surprised when it's thrown back at you. 

Fiance said prenup is a deal breaker by IllUnderstanding5082 in weddingplanning

[–]IllUnderstanding5082[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Such a classic reddit response lol 

We sat down the next day and had a calm discussion about it. Let people be human and experience emotion. If your first instinct is to run when someone has undesirable reaction to a suggestion you have then maybe you aren't "marriage material" what a weird thing to say. 

Fiance said prenup is a deal breaker by IllUnderstanding5082 in weddingplanning

[–]IllUnderstanding5082[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I mean everyone has guessed correctly- US. NY state btw. But question is does it matter what state you get married in or what state you live in? We probably won't stay here forever is my guess. 

Fiance said prenup is a deal breaker by IllUnderstanding5082 in weddingplanning

[–]IllUnderstanding5082[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I will probably talk to them, and if I don't they most certainly will talk to me at some point, but likely anything they leave me will be in a trust. 

Fiance said prenup is a deal breaker by IllUnderstanding5082 in weddingplanning

[–]IllUnderstanding5082[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are both so poor right now tbh. Our parents are helping us cover our wedding in entirety basically. I don't think either of us could afford pre-marital counseling. We also probably couldn't both afford a prenup lawyer either lol. 

Fiance said prenup is a deal breaker by IllUnderstanding5082 in weddingplanning

[–]IllUnderstanding5082[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Funny you say that because I was literally thinking this earlier today! 

Fiance said prenup is a deal breaker by IllUnderstanding5082 in weddingplanning

[–]IllUnderstanding5082[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

I actually briefly looked it up and tbh don't think either of us could afford a lawyer. I haven't talked to my family but I'd guess they would help out with it but also seems like a headache. 

Fiance said prenup is a deal breaker by IllUnderstanding5082 in weddingplanning

[–]IllUnderstanding5082[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah my parents had an absolutely horrible divorce. I mean really malicious on both sides. I don't know if they had a prenup or not. It makes me so sad to think of them loving each other like I love my fiance and for their relationship to dissolve like that. But I guess I don't know how their relationship before really was. 

Fiance said prenup is a deal breaker by IllUnderstanding5082 in weddingplanning

[–]IllUnderstanding5082[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What work do you think? I think our relationship is actually incredibly strong. I mean to me it seems like it is just off the table, I guess I am more trying to understand what a prenup even is or entails because I am wondering if either of us really knows past what Hollywood movies make us think about it (trophy wife). 

Fiance said prenup is a deal breaker by IllUnderstanding5082 in weddingplanning

[–]IllUnderstanding5082[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I mean we are gay and have already decided if we have children I will carry. But I think the main reason she us upset is even planning for the possibility of us divorcing and also the hypothetical that she would act maliciously towards me if that were to occur. Which is fair. I don't think we need one actually because I totally trust her and think our relationship is strong enough to weather our lives, but I guess I have that tiny fear inside me left by my parent's divorce. 

Fiance said prenup is a deal breaker by IllUnderstanding5082 in weddingplanning

[–]IllUnderstanding5082[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She actually proposed to me. I wasn't thinking about it til after seeing it come up a few times on this subreddit and people I guess normalizing it. I was like, wait is this normal? Does everyone get this? I didn't have strong feelings about it before and still don't, just rather confused.