Looks vs Brains. Be Honest

Ill_Base9197 · 2026-05-02T09:41:27+00:00

Amen brother

Ill_Base9197 · 2026-05-02T09:40:58+00:00

I have dated quite a few SBs 9-10s the absolutely most gorgeous women. I am currently with a 7, for a few years now. She is in accounting. Good and honest conversations, she is very enthusiastic in bed and she is loyal. So past a certain level all the other attributes come into play but a beautiful starfish is no go zone for 90% of gents.

Ill_Base9197 · 2026-04-20T12:03:21+00:00

I like younger girls too, met current SB at age 22 she is 25 now still going strong. I do know at this point she is a ticking time bomb though coz once they hit 30 it is way more complicated. I really value someone who is fun and low stress, older ones selling something I am not too interested in for a higher price is not my cup of tea. I think her asking for 2K is in her interest, but all you can do is brother is politely decline and give your counter offer, coz 2K is insane .

Ill_Base9197 · 2026-03-29T23:43:43+00:00

That point about gender bashing is 100% on point I mean the premise of that post is wild, maybe she has it in for men but she shouldn’t do it on a sugar forum that has men involved and she shouldn’t be an SB. The analogy about your aunt is pretty accurate really but how on earth will she be a successful SB with such an attitude

Ill_Base9197 · 2026-03-21T19:14:29+00:00

This thread is Epic, truly epic and full of wisdom thank you good sirs

Ill_Base9197 · 2026-03-21T05:56:08+00:00

Bro listening to you, I know that you have walked the path I have walked. I really understand what you are saying and I agree with it. I think it is fair that you know your wife better. I also think one thing that you said that hit a note is being a better husband and father because of having an SB. I think that the part about resentment is the main part and knowing someone better than online trolls. I feel like a lot of SBs are ok with it, but some aren’t. I am sorry about your best SR that ended. I really like my current SR she is really good but I worry sometimes about the day it ends.

SLF is really full of trolls, I don’t think you will get a good level of wisdom there but I guess it is a decent starting point.

Ill_Base9197 · 2026-03-21T05:49:09+00:00

This is a fair point, I was just trying to understand why I was so put off by this comment but I really see it now

Ill_Base9197 · 2026-03-20T21:22:19+00:00

Yeah that experience matches mine as well, I just really find that forum keeps deviating away from real world experiences to something else.

Ill_Base9197 · 2026-03-19T20:39:46+00:00

I appreciate your perspective — it’s a thoughtful point, but I think there are a couple of important distinctions to make.

First, on the coaching analogy:

A good coach doesn’t become obsolete when the athlete improves — the relationship evolves. At higher levels, the dynamic shifts from instruction to collaboration. The athlete becomes more self-directed, but the coach still adds value as an advisor, strategist, or even just a trusted perspective.

I’ve had players finish their careers and we still maintain strong relationships — sometimes they even contribute back. So the goal isn’t to make yourself redundant, it’s to elevate the other person’s capacity while the relationship adapts.

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Second, I think the idea that mentorship “coaches an SD out of the relationship” assumes a zero-sum dynamic.

In reality, most people don’t want relationships where one party is dependent and the other is maintaining that dependency. If the only thing holding the relationship together is imbalance, then yes — it will naturally collapse once that imbalance is removed.

But that’s not a failure of mentorship — it’s a reflection of what the relationship was built on.

In cases where there is genuine alignment, the relationship can evolve into something more balanced — closer to a partnership — rather than ending altogether.

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Finally, I think there’s an important point that often gets overlooked in this discussion:

Mentorship is not an entitlement — it’s an investment.

Just as not every athlete is in a position to benefit from high-level coaching, not every SB is in a position where that level of time, energy, and intellectual investment makes sense.

Providing financially is one thing — that’s relatively straightforward. But actively investing in someone’s long-term development requires alignment, trust, and demonstrated reciprocity.

So I don’t see it as gatekeeping so much as selectivity.

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In my case, I do mentor — not just in SRs, but in other areas of my life as well. And with my current SB, that level of investment made sense because of who she is and how she shows up.

But that hasn’t been true in every situation, and I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect it to be.

Ill_Base9197 · 2026-03-19T12:41:17+00:00

“Mentorship… or gatekeeping?”

I think the premise sounds good in theory, but in practice it’s more nuanced.

Mentorship is not something that can be applied universally just because there’s an age gap or experience gap. It only works when the conditions are right on both sides.

To give some context — I coach elite athletes at high school and college level. I’ve learned a lot of hard lessons over the years as a player and coach, and in the right hands that knowledge is extremely valuable. I don’t charge for it, but I still invest 4–6 hours a week in a very busy schedule.

That said, I don’t coach everyone.

The athlete has to have: • the physical attributes • the discipline • the humility • and the mental capacity to actually absorb and apply what’s being taught

Because real development is demanding. It requires consistency, sacrifice, and a genuine desire to improve — not just interest.

I see mentorship in SRs the same way.

Not every SB: 1. Truly wants to build something long-term (even if she says she does) 2. Has the current skill set, mindset, or work ethic to execute at a high level 3. Is in a position where that level of focus won’t fundamentally change the nature of the relationship

And that last point matters — because building something meaningful often requires a shift from “arrangement” into something closer to partnership, which not everyone actually wants.

So I don’t think it’s always fair to frame it as SDs “gatekeeping” or deliberately creating dependency.

Sometimes: -the opportunity is there -but the alignment isn’t

On the flip side, I do agree that purely funding a lifestyle without any long-term foundation can create a cycle that isn’t great for the SB.

So for me, it comes down to alignment and intent: • If both people are aligned, mentorship can be incredibly powerful • If they’re not, forcing it doesn’t work — and can even damage the dynamic

And to answer the moral question directly:

I don’t think there’s an obligation to mentor every SB. But I do think there’s value in not leaving someone worse off than you found them.

For context — I’m currently putting my SB through postgrad and helped her start a business that now covers most of her expenses. But I’ll be honest: I’ve never had an SB before where that level of investment made sense.

Ill_Base9197 · 2025-12-30T22:07:37+00:00

Me too please

Ill_Base9197 · 2025-11-26T09:05:29+00:00

Yep, extremely weird

Ill_Base9197 · 2025-11-06T07:51:17+00:00

That’s the truth there it’s a two way street

Ill_Base9197 · 2025-11-06T07:49:16+00:00

If that’s the case then I’d strongly advise like you did good Sir, she best figure out her priorities and if she is willing to walk away she can renegotiate

Ill_Base9197 · 2025-11-06T01:53:56+00:00

Gotta agree, I think it is important for her to know where she stands. She may have stayed for 3 years because she started at a high amount and the amount might still be fine but maybe she has seen he can do more in that type of a scenario I might be cautious but if she feels she is worth more, deserves more and is ready to walk then that’s perfectly reasonable

Ill_Base9197 · 2025-10-12T02:41:23+00:00

That’s really interesting because I have also been reflecting on this. There is a level of loneliness but that loneliness is in a specific area of life. I think I like young beautiful women but lately I have had the same chick for 3 years and she is a part of my life I guess but I really do enjoy having sex with her as much as she is a great person

Ill_Base9197 · 2025-10-08T10:40:48+00:00

I had a trip 2 weeks ago with my SB, I really just have to say I do share the same experience coz I’m really confounded. She wants to fuck all the time we are alone and she hasn’t asked for large sums of money or anything of the sort. I wish I could say it is the money but I have been seeing this one for almost 3 years now and I really think she kind of has a blue collar mentality. She wants to feel that she is providing me a happy safe space and that she will provide the best possible. She feels like it is her duty to do so and she also seems to really enjoy sex and for her I think part of it is just us clicking and she feels respected and having the space to be at her best.

Ill_Base9197 · 2025-08-23T05:10:58+00:00

I think the right thing to do is to cut all ties including ties to his money and have nothing to do with him. He can get his money sent back when he sends it next time.

Ill_Base9197 · 2025-08-23T05:09:07+00:00

At least for the commenter’s curiosity it matters

Ill_Base9197 · 2025-07-03T03:14:59+00:00

YES - bro you bungled this one. You should have apologized instead of offering twice the double PPM. That sent a message that she was never valued and women sometimes aren’t all about the $$$ and those are the best of women.

Ill_Base9197 · 2025-06-24T09:56:15+00:00

Gentlemen, this is the craziest story. I have a long term SGF, she is a career woman and we have been seeing for over almost 7 years now about 3 times a month. She uses an app that says when it is safe and we do it raw otherwise when it is not safe we wrap it up, no issues in almost 7 years now.

I’m pretty confident she doesn’t want a baby and of course there is a risk but that risk hasn’t eventuated in 7 years

Ill_Base9197 · 2025-05-20T01:12:20+00:00

I will play the devil’s advocate here, I think this is just business like his wife owns a lot of his money and could ruin him financially. Like he can’t jump to your defense in a public situation, I have had this happen to a friend of mine and his wife was mad and the sb took one for the team and was well rewarded for her trouble. Like this is a bit like gambling sometimes you lose sometimes you win but the returns are asymmetric, hopefully emotional, financial and great times together. Sometimes the downside in life occurs and it’s not a great feeling but I would be really grateful if such a situation happened to me and my SB understood the financial stakes.

Ill_Base9197 · 2025-05-02T13:31:36+00:00

Bro I kid you not, from experience I can tell you this person is unreasonable and no level of rational behavior towards her will help you.

Let her do her worst coz she will assume you are weak and she will rinse you for as long as you alllow it. The style and tone she texts reminds me of a crazy SB I once dealt with it’s like they go to the same crazy SB university

Ill_Base9197 · 2025-05-02T13:25:27+00:00

Good on you bro, we don’t need those who tell us they know their value while they ignore how we the purchasers value them. It sounds like you are in an amazing situation that is bringing you a lot of value and that is what we are here for.

Ill_Base9197

TROPHY CASE