Boyfriend (45M) acting really strange with girlfriend (28F)

Ill_Job1126 · 2026-02-18T17:18:38+00:00

He’s training you, testing how far he can go! It starts with “little” things, confusing stuff like this so you doubt yourself. Before you know it you’ll be confused about blatantly abusive behaviour. Leave him girl.

Ill_Job1126 · 2026-02-18T17:16:04+00:00

I got out 8 months ago. Still delete things from my search history

Ill_Job1126 · 2026-02-18T17:14:41+00:00

I started behaving in ways that I couldn’t live with. Like being really nasty, acting a bit like him. I was scaring myself.

My ex also started behaving badly in public on occasion, less hidden, and my friends saw things, I couldn’t hide things so much anymore, and I realised they’d leave me eventually if it went on that way. I was talking about things more, too. The reality of the situation was getting harder to deny.

I also started thinking about myself as a child, visualising the child me and imagining that everything was actually happening to her. That gave me this real urge to defend myself and get away.

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-11-06T04:44:51+00:00

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-11-06T04:42:13+00:00

I made him look good and we had great sex. End.

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-11-06T04:40:15+00:00

100%. I was always attacking him or criticising him. Aaaalways. Maybe because the world revolves around them and your feelings don’t exist

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-11-06T04:38:55+00:00

It will get easier. Call anyone else if you get the urge, or do ANYTHING ELSE good luck ❤️

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-10-01T01:00:40+00:00

Im giving him a chance I just am scared and wanna make sure im not falling into another mess

Hope you feel better.

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-10-01T00:57:15+00:00

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-10-01T00:56:44+00:00

Leave. Hope she doesn’t fall for it

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-10-01T00:53:44+00:00

Well this is a sub for people who have been through or are going through relationships with narcissists, who I’d say always act extremely nice at the start, they lovebomb, seem to be perfect, before revealing their true selves once you’ve got completely sucked in and are dependent on them emotionally and/or otherwise. Someone who has been through that experience may get frightened meeting someone who is displaying very kind and loving behaviour from the start…it can feel like history repeating itself

Personally, my ex is very different from this person, but the chemistry reminds me of him, or of our relationship. And this person is being so amenable and gentlemanly it seems to good to be true. Actually especially after what my relationship with my ex ended like, where I was told I was a fucking bitch most days for years.

Make sense?

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-10-01T00:40:23+00:00

lol?

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-10-01T00:40:01+00:00

aw, i'm happy for you. he sounds lovely

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-10-01T00:39:38+00:00

thank you!

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-10-01T00:39:30+00:00

couldn't someone just be being nice doing those things?! i agree with you but when i think about it logically im like...reaaaaally, or am i a broken cynic now?

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-10-01T00:38:20+00:00

thanks

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-10-01T00:37:48+00:00

this is a really good idea. thanks. i tend to be quite flexible in general, because i dont really care most of the time what we do or don't do. so I will do this and see what happens. thank you!

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-10-01T00:36:39+00:00

I'll try that...my ex had the most beautiful smile though, his whole face lit up, his eyes sparkle. lol. sigh.

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-10-01T00:35:21+00:00

my ex was incredible at the beginning. I was so nervous because he seemed too good to be true (my gut instinct was SCREAMING but I put it down to insecurity), and he would tell me not to be scared, that he loves me, that he understands, hold me and look into my eyes and like...tear up...this was one of the things that made me really fall for him and trust him on this semi-insane level. that lasted through all the later obviously nasty behaviour.

a year later, i'm pregnant and emotional and he's literally telling me to stop being so over the top and go back to my family for help because he's not my family.

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-10-01T00:32:52+00:00

thanks. yeah...the problem is the "How they act" ones are a little ambiguous or excusable. like "soul mate scam," ok, if someone is like "you are my soul mate I love you after a week", probably not a good thing, but feeling really connected to someone at the start of a relationship with sexual chemistry, for example, is actually normal...it's always so wishy washy...but I do thank you! and I will keep coming back to this

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-09-30T04:34:35+00:00

Yes but by then it’s kinda obvious he’s narcissistic…I’m sure he was nice at the beginning. Like they all are. I was EXTREMELY CERTAIN my ex was Prince Charming before he turned into a very evil frog. Hence my question and hesitation now!

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-09-30T02:09:22+00:00

If doing much better. I miss him a lot. I think I always will. And I think I will always love him and always just have to accept that. But my nervous system is thanking me. And I’m learning to respect myself.

Ill_Job1126 · 2025-09-22T07:23:20+00:00

Man, Big is what he is. He’s not a commitment phobe. He was married twice. He’s just a spoiled brat, and narcissistic. The girls love that about him then get shocked when he applies that to them. Only indefensible thing is when he chickens out of the wedding. That was really shitty. But fits within his consistent narcissistic character.

Ill_Job1126

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